Four tales from Q's Pizza, from four separate visits.
My dad loves the place and coaxes my mom into a visit every six months or so. They went for an early lunch last year - you have to enter through a special lunchtime door - and she wasn't too excited and asked the waitress what kind of coffee they had, if any. "Plain black, no espresso drinks, and we only have milk, not cream." When the coffee was delivered to her, it had a rich cinnamon aroma. "Excuse me, but I think this coffee is flavored." A quick duck into the back ensued. "I'm sorry, that's not our coffee, that's something an employee brought here to work." They served her from a chef's carafe of the good stuff. My folks still go.
My aunt visited on a Friday during Lent this year. "I'd like your vegetable pasta," the main component of which is your choice of spinach or broccoli, as with their excellent oil-saturated tavern-style pizza. "Broccoli, and please with extra sauce, since that's what I'm eating for my main meal today." When the plate of pasta arrived, it was entombed in a mountain of finely ground Italian sausage. The Sacrament of Reconciliation was briefly weighed in the balance, but the plate was ultimately sent back.
My daughter ordered the angel hair from the kids' menu. While the rest of us were talking and contemplating our own orders the waitress apparently asked her if she "wanted gravy on that." Picturing mashed potatoes - and this being the same person that invented Fruit Loops dipped in hummus as a canapé - she enthusiastically nodded yes. When the plate arrived, she asked me why her pasta had tomato sauce when she ordered gravy.
My father-in-law is a well-traveled medical researcher and has come to believe in taking Quinine whenever on the road, in the form of tonic water with every meal. He asked Q's for tonic water with lemon and was met with a raised eyebrow. "Just the tonic, straight. You can bring it to me and I'll do it" [meaning the bottle]. He received a half a glass of warm well gin. And a whole lemon with a steak knife sticking out of it.