hmm - is that the contempt bred from the customer being familiar with the waiter, or the waiter being familiar with the customer?
Perhaps I am the worst kind of offender. I eat there at lunch often, alone often, wishing Lula was a cafe sometimes, but I've also eaten dinner there plenty of times too with others and ordered respectably. I always tip the same unless something really egregious happens, and so everyone gets the same tips.
There are some nice waiters at Lula, but, I find, instead of being too attentive, they are invariably in a gaggle at the bar no matter what meal, talking amongst themselves, and it is impossible to get their attention. Despite wanting one coffee refill actually during my meal at brunch, rather than after I'm done eating, I do not think I am an incessant nag who makes the waiters go back for every little thing. Even the nicest of the waiters are guilty of this, so I do think it's part of the culture. And you know what I think about the worst - I just inwardly groan whenever she's my waiter, which is often, but I don't think I show it. I just avoid asking questions, which can make my meal less satisfying if it's dinner, and I've always tipped the same.
Maybe I need to start my own experiment, and reward friendlier and more attentive behaviour with higher tips - though frankly, this wouldn't work with the worst of the waiters, as I have literally never seen her crack a smile at any customer, and she treats everyone with the same indifference. And, I hate not to tip well if no extraordinary gaffes have occured; I can't remember a time I lowered a tip based on service (and never about a kitchen error).
Having been there so often, I know none of this will change. I was almost delighted to hear in the TAF program that the issue of friendliness was actually discussed by the waitstaff. But I don't think anything can compel them to refill my coffee once during my meal or answer a question if they are utterly uninterested in the food. And, since it so wholly depends on the waiter (despite the confirmation that the management supports a certain level of indifference), I would encourage everyone to go and concentrate on the wonderful food if they have bad luck - as a neighborhood restaraunt, I really believe they are doing a good service in general for Logan Square, whatever small foibles occur.
And if you want really friendly and attentive service, I recommend the greasy spoon next door (whose name I always forget) - they are lovely - but it's in an utterly different world from Lula.