Abandon Hope, Ye Who Enter Here: Golden Elephant Thai

Today, at lunch, a co-worker invited me to join him and another co-worker for a visit to Golden Elephant Thai in Park Ridge. As a great fan of Chicago's many solid Thai places, I didn't have very high expectations except that I might find a decent Ameri-Thai Place close to my Rosemont office for lunch from time to time.

Our party of three entered the restaurant a little after noon to find the dining room pretty busy. A good sign I thought. There were only a scattering of two top tables along the wall that were available. Fortunately there were two side by side which we decided to push together so we could sit comforttably...so we thought.

Almost immediately, the the arrows of the waitress centaur, in what we would later determine was the restaurant version of Dante's 7th level of hell, rained down upon as she announced that it was unacceptable to push two two-top tables together. Instead, we were advised, we would have to pull up a chair and sit three people at a two top because they needed the second two top table (which would remain vacant during our lunch) for other guests. The orders of the waitress centaur were quickly confirmed by the owner/cook/dishwasher centaur who quickly slid a chair in and pronounced everything "OK". "OK" for him maybe. My inclination was to tell him where to go and proceed to find a reasonable place to eat lunch. But, we decided to stick it out.

We ordered, and while we waited, noted that a mother and daughter were denied seating at a time when two vacant four tops were available. They were told they would have to wait for an available two-top. After 15 minutes, they walked out.

We should have been so wise.

The menu was very basic Ameri-Thai consisting of 8 "lunch specials" served with a soup or appetizer for $5.95. The soup was a chicken broth, with about a teaspoon of minced chicken and rice that can only fracture around the ends like Minute Rice does. It was pretty flavorless. As a matter ofr fact, mine was a bit fishy in taste. That's not a good thing for chicken soup.

One co-worker ordered Beef Pad Thai which arrived quickly and hot though it was a small serving. About five minutes after the beef pad thai arrived, the people at the neighboring table asked any of us had ordered the green curry. One of us had and the dish, which had been sitting at this other table for a few minutes, was passed over to its rightful owner. Oddly, this curry with its precooked chicken and vegetables was served on a plate with rice rather than in a bowl. It appeared that the curry sauce had been poured over the cooked vegetables and meat rather than it all being cooked together.

About the time my co-workers were midway into their meal, my Lad Nar with chicken finally arrived. The deep fried noodles were cold, and topped with what appeared to be the same assortment of vegetables and chicken that made up the green curry. The lad nar was topped with a sweet and peppery (as in black pepper) sauce that was, politely, underwhelming in both texture and flavor. The portion was pretty small in comparison to lad nar I have had elsewhere. Given its flavor and the quality of the food, that was somewhat of a blessing.

We were fortunate to have our long empty water glasses filled at this point. By this time, the busy dining room was clearing out and all of the "reserved " tables that were denied to patrons earlier in the hour remained vacant.

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being best, I give the service a 1 and the food a 3. Not much to see see or taste here.

Obviously, my first visit to this establishment will be my last. You have now been sufficiently warned.

Golden Elephant Thai
712 Higgins Road
Park Ridge

On Yelp, I noted that, if McDonalds ever ventured into a Thai food menu, the green curry at Golden Elephant is exactly what I would expect McCurry to taste like, a bland concoction of steam vegetables and meat napped with a pre-prepared curry sauce.

Do yourslf a favor and drive over to Elephant Thai on Devon instead. You can owe me $3.50.