Bars of the Western World #3: Philander’s/Nutbush Not long ago, I went to Philander’s (one of the great old bars in otherwise “dry” Oak Park) with my friend Richard, the Voice of Pork (claim to fame is that he was the voice talent that did the Pork Council's mildly lurid commercials that went something like “It’s on your mind, it’s on your plate, it’s in your mouth, it’s pork: the other white meat"). Philander’s is an excellent place to have a drink, though it’s a little over-priced (I once spent $140 dollars on four shots of 25-year old Macallan). Nonetheless, Philander’s has the notable advantages of being quiet enough for a conversation (though they frequently have live jazz) and they serve free cheese bowls and hardboiled eggs (the eggs are presented on a metallic “tree,” much admired by ReneG, and very old-timey).
After a few hours, Philander’s was closing down, but we were not. Note to self: when the Voice of Pork says, “Now let’s do the serious drinking,” it’s really time to flee for home. Leaving Philander’s, we were treading water, pondering where to go, and one of us said, “Hey, that place looks open.” Down the street from Philander’s, the glowing chartreuse awning of Nutbush.
Stumbling into the darkened drinking area, the Voice of Pork demonstrated that hours of drinking had left his powers of perception undiminished: “Hey,” he remarked, “This is a gay bar.” Indeed he was correct. We had shambled into the Nutbush on karaoke night, and the Voice of Pork jumped into action by doing a moving rendition of “Feelings” which won him the attention of all and the admiration of few (I have no idea why he made this selection; I think he felt it would be “campy”: big mistake). To regain bar cred, I offered to do “Town without Pity,” but they didn’t have it in their collection (or maybe they were just saying that). Perhaps too stereotypically, show tunes were hot that night, and I must admit that as dawn approached, a few belts of Ethel Merman added some needed energy to the evening.
Later, after several beers and many effervescent conversations, we closed down the area's only gay bar (where, incidentally, the bottle beers are just $1.25). Leaving, we got an offer for a ride home, proving conclusively that there are indeed some desperate dudes in Forest Park.
Philander’s
1110 Pleasant Street
Oak Park, Illinois 60302
(708) 848-5000
Nutbush
7201 Franklin Ave, Forest Park
Tel: (708) 366-5117