Grand Cayman ’08: A Rum-In-Cheek ReportI returned recently from 6 days in Grand Cayman. The island is mostly revamped after being devastated by 2004’s Hurricane Ivan, though I was told that there were parts of the island (not the touristy parts) that were still in need of dire repair. But you won’t notice it if you’re sticking to Seven Mile Beach.
It is an interesting time to travel to the Caribbean. It was reported in this
Sunday's Tribune that the main carrier to the Caribbean, American Airlines, will cut its flights to there by at least a third, commencing September 1. Thus, it will be more expensive to fly there and require more advanced booking. The net effect is that the price of resorts on the islands will decrease, because they are islands after all, and rely upon the airlines in getting overnight visitors there.
Given that it is technically hurricane season (but only the beginning), I was the unwitting beneficiary of good timing and snagged an excellent last minute deal to Grand Cayman. Normally, I’m an intrepid traveler. I like museums, architecture, culture, and most importantly, local food and drink. But this vacation was solely for relaxation, or in my mindset, to not lift a finger unless desired. I didn’t even want the specter of possible culture or tourist destinations to tempt me out of my sun-induced coma. Therefore, oddly (for me), my choice to go to Grand Cayman was influenced by the general lack of culture, the resort (the very excellent Ritz-Carlton), and the world-renowned beaches and natural beauty (world-renowned with good reason). Also, the possibility of snorkeling, something Cayman is also known for, much more so prior to Ivan, which devastated a lot of the reefs. (I was even too lazy to think about scuba-diving; but it’s also known for good dives as well.)
Really, Grand Cayman is all about Seven Mile Beach:
Seven Mile Beach at SunsetThe water is clean, crystal-clear, and smooth. There are few rocks and the sand is soft and white. The water is so clear that, while swimming in the deep end of the swimming area, I could see a sting ray swimming below me, with its friend, Tuna. It was a very communing-with-nature experience.
I was told by a resort employee that Grand Cayman is a very religious island. (I'm sure by religious, she meant,
by Caribbean standards. I mean, I didn’t exactly get the papal feel that one gets in Italy.) Although, yes, I saw a lot of churches on the island, the Cayman's religious devotion extends to such strict soul-cleansing deprivations as banning casinos and the sale of alcohol past midnight Saturday (that is, until it goes back up for sale on Sunday). I also hear tell of pornographic magazines occasionally being confiscated if discovered during a random customs search going into Cayman (horror!). In short, Cayman ain't Vegas, but it ain't Iran either.
In essence, Cayman heavily relies upon nearby Cuba and Jamaica for everything. Because everything has to be flown in, food and drink are very expensive. But that didn’t stop me from becoming mildly obsessed with rum. (It’s vacation, after all!) Cayman’s rum producer is Tortuga. Tortuga shows up mostly as a well rum here. I asked a resort bartender which rum he liked better, Tortuga or Mount Gay (from Barbados), he quickly answered “Mount Gay, of course!” as if it was a trick question. His disloyalty aside, you’ll find that most bartenders use Tortuga in most rum-based drinks here, no doubt due to its relative low cost. On occasion, you’ll see Cuba’s Havana Club used as the default rum.
So what’s to drink here? A lot of mojitos, as Cuba is a distinct cultural influence.
What the hell is this, you ask? [“They’d never serve
that at The Violet Hour!”]

It is a frozen mango “mojito.” (Quotes are mine.) And it was a damn fine refreshing drink, even though it was (a) frozen; (b) inauthentic; and (c) made with Tortuga rum. In fact, it was my lunch-time sustenance.
There were others. Like these:
Mojito (L), Pina Colada (R)These were from a different bar, and Havana Club was the well-rum there, although the Pina Colada you see was also “swirled” with Myers’ Dark Rum. Both also damn fine drinks.
I also tried the “Yellow Bird,” made with rum, Galliano, creme de banana, pineapple and orange juice, and the “Cayman Mama,” made with Tortuga Gold rum, Tortuga Coconut rum, and pineapple juice. [I’m sure I tried other tropical drinks but I can’t now remember what those were, hee hee.] Back on the mainland in Chicago, these drinks would seem revolting to me, but I decided to go whole hog, so to speak, and embrace my inner Polynesian (assuming I even had one).
My rum obsession was interrupted only occasionally when Seymour, the Coconut Water guy, came round:

Coconut Water* * *
I did eat. Although the food is expensive, everything I had was well-prepared, if lacking in variety. You’ll see a lot of jerk spicing here, which I didn’t mind, a lot of seafood, which is mostly local (save for that pesky, ubiquitous Chilean seabass) and a lot of pork, for meat.
I had a very fine meal at the
Grand Old House, mentioned upthread by stevez. The table was situated near the water. In the water below our table, the tarpon waited for their nightly feeding. (They’re a little difficult to see.)

Although the plating and saucing here is a bit heavy handed, all meats and seafood were perfectly cooked and the flavors were nicely balanced.
A pork loin, jerk-style, tended toward the high end of the capsaicin meter, but the sweet rum sauce balanced it out.
Pork Tenderloin, jerk style, rum sauce, fried plaintain garnish and vegetablesA lobster-tail was served “island-style” and was also delicious.
Lobster tail, Island-styleDesserts were fine, although again plated with a heavy hand:
Frozen Mango Souffle
Chocolate-Banana Rum Bread PuddingAs you can see from the plates, GOH is celebrating 100 years. I think the highlights of the meal, however, were the ocean-side setting on the well-appointed deck and seeing the shark that attacked a few of the tarpon during their feeding.
I didn’t eat at Blue, Eric Ripert’s restaurant because I just didn’t feel like sitting down to a focused, multicourse meal. And the restaurant isn’t water-side.
But I did eat two meals at his casual outpost,
Periwinkle, also located in the Ritz-Carlton resort. This is a fine, Mediterranean-inspired restaurant. Although it, too, is pricey, it is way better than it has to be. I’m sure a lot of people go off resort to Ragazzi’s for Italian food. Although I didn’t eat at Ragazzi’s, I find it hard to believe that a meal there is better than at Periwinkle.
Capricciosa Pizza, Periwinkle
Portabello Mushroom Gnocchi, PeriwinkleWhile I don’t have any pictures, I did have a better-than-expected meal at
The Wharf. It’s not the fanciest place, but it is quite a bit cheaper than the Grand Old House and its progeny (although certainly no bargain). Both The Wharf and Grand Old House have some type of Austrian connection as workers at both places were Austrian. (The GOH’s connection is formal – the Austrian consulate is located inside the GOH.) Thus, there was a surprising proliferation of Austrian wines on their menus, mostly from the Wienvertel region. The Wharf also has a deck overlooking Seven Mile Beach.
If you do find yourself here and staying at the Ritz, on Monday nights, the resort hosts a beach-side Caribbean themed buffet, which was actually quite good. And I'm not a buffet person.

The buffet had very tender jerk chicken (dark meat only), plantains, beans and rice, an assortment of salads, a raw bar, and the piece de resistance, a dessert spread with, among other things, an assortment of delectable mini cakes. Here were some of my favorites:
Assorted Rum Cakes
Pineapple Upside Down CakesThe dessert chef was also flambéing bananas with rum (of course!), which were garnished with ice cream and bits of ripened coconut. Normally, I wouldn’t go in for a hotel-organized event like this, but it was Monday, I was feeling lazy, and we didn’t feel like shelling out for a cab to take us off the resort.
* * *
As inferred above, if you’re looking to go to a place to experience authentic, indigenous food specialties and explore the local culture, then you’ll probably be disappointed with Grand Cayman. But if you do find yourself there, with some digging, I think you'll find that you'll eat well.
I took a little bit of the Caymans back with me. Here is my kitty after hitting the duty-free:

They will join their brothers and sisters Rum in the liquor cabinet, where they will reside happily.