Well, let me try to answer my own question.
St. Thomas: Because of work demands, I stayed put at the Marriott Frenchman's Reef for the two days I was at the resort and racked up an impressive streak of utterly forgettable meals. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay for an absurd meal at Havana Blue, the resort's pan-latino credit limit crusher and proof that the circles of hell extend far beyond Tao and that ilk: think $40+ entrees cloaked in heavy sauces and paired with ridiculous sides like "potato air"--mashed potatoes put through a foam canister. Uh huh. Breakfast at the resort's "Windows on the Harbour" restaurant found a $21 buffet with the usual objects of mild banality and two pleasant surprises: excellent fruit--including spectacular mango--and a cornbread infused with a streak of sweet cream jelly that only Descartes' malevolent God could devise. Count me as a fan.
St. Croix: I was again stuck at a large resort outside the island's main town, this time the Buccaneer. The food was cruise ship-level--no doubt the resort's intent--and featured a mix of Sysco-inspired items and 1990s-era flourishes, such as fully-cooked fish, fruit salsas, and free-range chicken; the bread was constantly stale; the rum-heavy cocktails were just right for the setting, which was admittedly spectacular. Not an island on which to lack transportation, I must say.
After a little pushback, and not a small amount of prodding, I finally was able to get out and about and taste mediocrity in another context, at least. Spicy Grill, a small diner in the center of the island, near the university and high school campuses, dishes out the "local food," which is a mix of the "BBQ" you find in the north suburbs (e.g., baby back ribs, grilled chicken), Jamaican specialties (e.g., curry goat); everything comes together in a typical Caribbean lunch plate, here with the de rigeour (and utterly superfluous) salad, seasoned rice, and a clearly from-frozen corn cob--nothing of note. I ate here twice: the goat was entirely forgettable, but the Grill nailed the steamed Kingfish, served escabeche style, the next day.
Better was dinner at Kim's, another local recommendation in downtown Christiansted. The mauby, tamarind, and sorrel drinks are all made in-house and light years better than the respective bottled products I've tasted; the restaurant also makes a nice
fungi, a oval blob of cornmeal that's like a cross between grits and mashed potatoes. The cooking here is elemental but essential: perfectly cooked--fried, steamed, or stewed--just-caught seafood, paired with a curry butter, escabeche, or creole sauce; our mix of conch, shrimp, and lobster in the curry was brimming with seafood, the sauce subtly stunning. It was also $28 for a modest portion that would go for $9 here--food is very expensive here. It's no wonder that most locals go out for lunch and eat dinner at home.
Harvey's, the other consistent local recommendation, is only open for lunch for that same reason. The menu is abbreviated, though it was heartening to see fishermen come through the restaurant and to the kitchen at least three times during our lunch; most of it, or so it seemed, was potfish, a parrotfish so named for the way it is caught. We had that fried and tossed with a creole sauce--fine, but nowhere near the conch in butter sauce or the curry goat, the latter of which was fantastic. Sides and beverages nowhere near the level of Kim's, but you can also get out of Harvey's for less than $20/pp, which is saying something on this island. (Just imagine what it must cost to eat at the places for the cruise ship folk...)
Finally, missing Trini food, we stopped at Singh's Fast Food, a roti shop a few blocks uptown from downtown Christiansted. This isn't quite what I experienced in Port of Spain--the doubles do not use paratha bread, instead relying on a spongy fry bread type; their filling had as much potato as chickpea--and conch roti simply does not work, but we dug the eggroll-like "pate", which are essentially empanadas with spiced proteins.
St. Croix may yet have even more hyper-local food: walking from Singh's, a little restaurant alley exists on King St. and features a couple of locals-only spots, including one that specializes in Antiguan saltfish and another, Paulina's, that was advertising bull's foot soup.
Havana Blue and Windows on the Harbour
5 Estate Bakkeroe, St. Thomas
340.776.8500
The Terrace @ The Buccaneer Hotel
340-712-2100
http://www.thebuccaneer.com/Spicy Grill
52 Garden Grove Road
Fredricksted, St. Croix
340-778-6270
Kim's Restaurant
45 King Street,
Christiansted, St. Croix
Harvey's
11B Company St., St. Croix
340.773.3433
Singh's Fast Food
340-773-7357