I needed a quick bite before picking my son up from daycare today and spotted a Roly Poly and stopped in here in Lexington, Ky. I had never heard of or seen one before but a window sign had a listing of their franchises, including at least 10 in Chicagoland. Feeling healthy because I had just worked out I decided it would be okay for me to eat a wrapped (rolled)sandwich. Huge menu with a billion(hyperbole) different options, many of them sounding quite good. I chose the turkey avocado. I was hungry so got the whole (as opposed to the half) for six dollars. It's a good thing I did because I would not be here to type this now having already succumbed to starvation. The sandwich had maybe two thin slices of turkey and I think I saw a piece of avocado but it was primarily filled with lettuce and ranch dressing. I was immediately reminded of the SNL ad parody of KFC featuring the Shredder: iceberg lettuce tossed with mayonnaise in a paper bag. At least Roly Poly used romaine. The sandwich was also billed to feature bacon and I admit I did find a little slice. There was literally not enough inside the tortilla to tell whether the ingredients were any good. Imagine if Irazu served you an unfried flauta and called it a burrito and charged six bucks.
The place was full (although not a large place) and Iwas the only male. The rest of the women appeared to also have come from the Nearby YMCA as I had. If they were eating there because they were watching their figures they could have simply grazed on the lawn at the Y which I will do before returning to Roly Poly.
The lack of food in my food reminded me of a trip to a Quizno's near my work in Chicago several years ago. While weighing the meat to put on my sandwich the employee saw there was a little too much roast beef for me and proceeded to remove a
tiny bit of roast beef debris that was tipping the scale in my favor. I was dumbstruck.
Just make me a goddamned sandwich! And put some meat in it while you're at it! And cheese! And some other delicious condiments!
Thanks for listening,
Thomas D.