Recipe Revenge

So, Easter is coming up, and I was not around when the meal planning was happening. As a joke, or perhaps some kind of odd punishment for my not being there, my cousin put me down to make 'Giant Turtle Testicles'.

Now, I suppose I could have just laughed it off and come up with something else, but I have decided instead to create a dish I can lovingly refer to as such, purely out of spite. Any suggestions?

I'm thinking of maybe pastry balls with a crab rangoon filling, or maybe a shumai of some kind. Something relatively easy, and party-sized.

Granted, it probably doesn't really count as 'revenge', but hey, I like alliteration.

How gross do you want to get?
I'm picturing something real leathery like fruit rollups wrapped around a chocolate truffle.
Or maybe halved de-seeded kiwi filled with crème anglaise.

Turtle ... chocolate, caramel and pecans! So you could make spherical chocolate cakes or cupcakes with caramel filling and chocolate frosting, covered in pecans. Use metal bowls for molds and glue the cake halves together with icing.

arancini di riso - leftover risotto wrapped around a filling, breaded and deep fried. The filling is commonly cheese, using a white melty cheese (or even cream cheese) would certainly give you the gross-out factor. Maybe served atop some basil pesto or other green sauce?

'Giant Turtle Testicles' ??

"purely out of spite" ??

'revenge' ??

For some reason, I keep thinking Wasabi would be one of my major recipe ingredients...

Ron

If you really want something green, you could do stuffed cabbage, shaped round.

How about some sort of dumpling? I'm thinking like wontons. Some get very wrinkly when cooked. If you shape the the right way, they could very scrotal looking. Somehow plate or cook them in pairs.

hmmm..."scrotal"...love it!!!

boudreaulicious wrote:hmmm..."scrotal"...love it!!!

The first time I've ever used that term while discussing food for sure. Maybe the first time ever.

What about making actual turkey testicles, like he requested.


"Just stop in and have a ball!"

I have this overwhelming urge to use my friend, google, to find out what giant tortoise testicles actually look like....

stevez wrote:What about making actual turkey testicles, like he requested.


"Just stop in and have a ball!"

Oh, TURTLE....nevermind.

Hi,

Since it is very unlikely anyone will know what a turkey or a turtle testicle looks like, or tastes, why not do a little substituting?

Regards,

Cooking with Testicles

-Dan

Octopus Balls (just say they were out of turtle), or as Ccrush calls them, "Balls of Pleasure" I think you could use a couple ideas from above: add wasabi and wrap them in blanched cabbage leaves, preferably savoy for the veining.

Here's a recipe, I'm guessing there's an ebskeiver pan out here on lth that somebody will let you borrow!

Good for you! They deserve no less!

jblth wrote:How about some sort of dumpling? I'm thinking like wontons. Some get very wrinkly when cooked. If you shape the the right way, they could very scrotal looking. Somehow plate or cook them in pairs.

I was thinking dumplings too. Immediately those soup dumplings in Chinatown came to mind, but you can fill them with turtle soup.

Mhays wrote:Octopus Balls (just say they were out of turtle), or as Ccrush calls them, "Balls of Pleasure" I think you could use a couple ideas from above: add wasabi and wrap them in blanched cabbage leaves, preferably savoy for the veining.

Here's a recipe, I'm guessing there's an ebskeiver pan out here on lth that somebody will let you borrow!

Good for you! They deserve no less!

I can't believe this hadn't occurred to me... I bought a takoyaki pan a few months ago, and had not yet gotten around to using it.

I think now may be the time.