Cooking with Testicles

I'd never cooked testicles before, so after reading about how prized they are in Catalonia and elsewhere, then seeing them at the local grocery store, I decided it was time to give 'em a try.

Testicles from Cermak Grocery:

At 3/4 of a pound each, one testicle would surely have been enough for me. Perhaps not surprisingly though, they come two to a package.


Peeling:

When I laid the things out on my board, I had no idea what to do with them at first. I pulled, prodded, and felt them around. They were soft and squishy, but that outer skin seemed really tough, so I thought I'd better remove it. Easier said than done! It just didn't want to separate, and even my very thin, sharp Global knife had a tough time. I ended up wasting some good gland meat, but eventually I got the skin off.


Slicing:

The soft, glandular tissue reminded me of sweetbreads, so I decided to treat them as such: sliced, coated and fried crisp. I still get a little shiver of squeamishness when I think about that sharp knife slicing through the testicle, but I'm mostly over it.


Dredging:

I seasoned the flour with minced garlic, parsley, salt and pepper.


Frying:

These probably spent about 2.5 minutes per side frying in very hot olive oil, until golden brown.


Served:

I served the testicles with home-style smashed potatoes (with olive oil instead of cream or butter) and a watercress-parsley salad with truffle-mustard vinaigrette. Crispy on the outside from a good fry, the testicles were more tender than I expected, and indeed tasted very much like sweetbreads. The bitter greens with strong, acidic dressing did a great job cutting through a flavor that needed some cutting.

Though I don't expect them to become a routine for me, I liked the testicles and was happy to have tried them.

Though I don't expect them to become a routine for me, I liked the testicles and was happy to have tried them.

Though I am not a man, I got the shivers while reading your post. You are a brave man for eating testicles and I know the only way I could get my husband to eat them is if I lied about what they were.

Diane wrote: You are a brave man for eating testicles and I know the only way I could get my husband to eat them is if I lied about what they were.

I figure that testicles are responsible for plenty of lies on their own....

As far as I can remember, I've never cooked without testicles.

Kenny, I certainly admire your adventurousness. Even though I am a fairly adventurous eater myself, I can't imagine ever making these for myself, though, I have eaten them in restaurants before. Thanks, I think , for the pictorial.

=R=

Growing up in the wilds of Utah, there were many a neighborhood joint that offered "Rocky Mountain Oysters" on the menu. The best places quickly dredged and fried, as you did, and served the ballz hot out of the fryer with maybe a side of Mormon fry sauce (ketchup and mayo in approximately equal proportions) for dipping. I was a teenager before I realized that this was a giggly food, and I've never encountered it now that I live in Boston, much to my dismay. This takes me back. Thanks for posting.

ronnie_suburban wrote:As far as I can remember, I've never cooked without testicles.

And I've never smoked without them either.

Hi,

While you were poking and prodding, I would have been reading up on how others approach the subject.

Very nice improvised approach to a unique variety meat.

Regards,

Kennyz wrote:Crispy on the outside from a good fry, the testicles were more tender than I expected, and indeed tasted very much like sweetbreads.

Kenny,

Testicles look tasty, I'll take a sack to go please.

My most humorous testicle experience, though humor seems to be implied when eating testicles, was years ago at Kang Nam Galbi when they had a buffet, all the meats for grilling were well labeled aside from one. When I asked what that item was the response was "you won't like that," which was like waving a red cape in front of a bull.

Thin disks of tight grain flesh cut from a larger piece that curled at the edges the second they hit the gill. Chewy, flavorful, slight mineral tang, obviously organ meat of some type. I noticed the waitstaff watching me, so I ate another piece and ambled over to ask again.

A passing male customer, hearing my question, broke into a big smile, snorted like a pig, pointed slightly south of his beltline and said "make you stronger"

Over the years I've consumed all manner of make you stronger foods, never noticed an uptick in virility, but no complaints either.

Enjoy,
Gary

In France testicles that you can eat are called Animelles or Rognons Blancs (white kidneys).
The most commonly found in butcher shops are lamb or mutton testicles, and sometimes Ostrich's.
In my native area of Languedoc , several cities such as Nimes (where I was born), Arles, Béziers, Bayonne, Mont de Marsan, etc, have bullfights during the "temporada" (corrida de toros season between May and September) .
In some of these cities a few limited number of butchers sell the meat of the bulls killed in the ''arène'' the day before. If you know one of these few butchers extremely well and are in a lucky day, he might sell you one of the much sought after testicles of these bulls. There are usually 6 bulls killed in one corrida, meaning 12 ''corones'' available unless they all go to some local restaurants, and perhaps a few members of the matador's team.
I tried that specialty meat only once and I believe that it was braised in a tomato, onions, garlic, thyme, bay leaf, olive oil and red wine sauce if I remember correctly (that was 40 years ago). Its meat was tender and very good.
If any of you would like to emulate Kenny and cook some testicles he or she should know that there are 2 serious books which are entirely devoted to that specific topic. One was written by a French woman, Blandine Vié, and called ''Testicules''. It covers the whole story from an historical and culinary standpoint and gives examples of all kind of animals whose testicles are edible and how they are prepared .
The other one was published (in English) in 2008 by a Serbian chef by the name of Ljubomir Erivic and is titled ''The Testicle Cookbook''. I understand that it can be found on line on the web, perhaps on Youtube...
Bon Appétit....

Sample copy:

The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls by Ljubomir Erivic

If you speak Serbo-Croatian, you have a chance to understand this youtube video, but the shirt is priceless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVsz95fxxmE If you check the sidebar, there are other testicle cooking videos to check out..



On youtube, his name is spelled differently: Jubomir Erovic

Regards,

alain40 wrote:In my native area of Languedoc , several cities such as Nimes (where I was born), Arles, Béziers, Bayonne, Mont de Marsan, etc, have bullfights during the "temporada" (corrida de toros season between May and September) .
In some of these cities a few limited number of butchers sell the meat of the bulls killed in the ''arène'' the day before. If you know one of these few butchers extremely well and are in a lucky day, he might sell you one of the much sought after testicles of these bulls. There are usually 6 bulls killed in one corrida, meaning 12 ''corones'' available unless they all go to some local restaurants, and perhaps a few members of the matador's team.

And what do they offer when the bulls win?

Santander,

Since you asked me I will tell you one of the first American jokes I heard when I arrived in this country 40 years ago. It was precisely about an exhausted American executive whose doctor advises him, at the heart of a harsh winter in the Midwest, to take a quick 3 days vacation in a sunny place to slow down is high blood pressure and stress. All his secretary can find him is a resort in a dusty Mexican town. When he gets there he is very hungry, goes into a fancy restaurant where a band of mariachis serenades another client while the waiter brings him a mysterious dish covered with a golden plated dome. The guy who obviously is very rich and popular, has a beautiful woman with him, wears a fancy white suit, seems to enjoys that special dish.
The American executive, who can see that it is a plump piece of meat from where he sits, asks the waiter why the guy is getting such a special treatment and what his dish is? See, the waiter says, our favorite customer has paid a very high price for this special piece of meat that comes from one of the bulls which was killed last night by a famous matador. It is... a testicle from that bull.
Is there another bullfight Today asks the American?
Yes Sir, says the waiter.
Could I get the same treatment if I pay you 15% more for the same treat tomorrow?
Yes sir.
So he pays the waiter and the next day, gets the same treatment, the mariachis playing to his table, etc.
When the waiter lifts the golden dome from his plate.. the meat is there but it is a much smaller piece than the day before.
What is that? asks the very disappointed American.
Well ...replies the waiter, I'm sorry Sir, but last night the bull won.

Nicely done kennyz!

Rocky Mt. oysters were only the stuff of legends until I met my Kansan wife's family. After learning of my love for food they felt compelled to send her home after a visit with a "sleeve" (10#) of roly-poly glands.

I cooked them in different ways but think that the way you prepared them is the same type of way they prepare them out West and one of the best ways to enjoy them. I ordered some for the first time at a restaurant in KS and they were accompanied by an ironically appropriate condiment--cocktail sauce.

[img]I%20would%20put%20a%20picture%20of%20them%20here%20but%20I'm%20a%20little%20dense%20and%20can't%20figure%20out%20how%20to%20upload%20it[/img]

This past summer I acquired some lamb fries and put them together like you did, "milanese" style, accompanied by a peppery arugula salad with vine-ripened tomatoes and a squeeze of lemon.

Good stuff!

The Testicle Cookbook

Caught this story, which reminded me of this thread, on-line earlier today . . .

Dusan Stojanovic @ AP wrote:At the seventh annual World Testicle Cooking Championship, visitors watch — and sometimes taste — as teams of chefs cook up bull, boar, camel, ostrich and even kangaroo testicles.

"This festival is all about fun, food and bravery," said Ljubomir Erovic, the Serbian chef and testicles gourmand specialist who organizes the bizarre cooking festival and has published a testicle cookery book.

The food — politely called "white kidneys" in Serbian — is believed to be rich in testosterone. In the Balkans, it is considered to help men's libido.

"The bulls' testicles are the best, goulash style," said last year's winner Zoltan Levai, stirring a metal pot heated by a wood fire and filled with vegetables and large testicles that he said were provided from a state-run slaughter house.

Kangaroo testicle? Chefs in Serbia say, 'Yes!'

=R=