Things I don't know how to cook...

I have a confession: I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich today (possibly the first I've ever made) and I destroyed it...burned one side to a blackened crisp. I'd assume that grilled cheese sandwiches are one of those basic dishes that anyone who cooks would know how to make. Except me, apparently. I also do not know how to brew a cup of coffee. I don't know the ratios for a cup of coffee, nor do I know how long it should brew in my French press.

Now, disclaimer: When I say I don't know how to cook these things, I mean that I apparently don't know how to cook them without a recipe. I didn't bother to look at a recipe in the case of today's sandwich, and every time I make a cup of coffee, I have to look it up. (Obviously, I don't brew that much coffee.)

So, it's confession time. What can't you cook that you assume most other people know how to cook?

chgoeditor wrote:I have a confession: I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich today (possibly the first I've ever made) and I destroyed it...burned one side to a blackened crisp. I'd assume that grilled cheese sandwiches are one of those basic dishes that anyone who cooks would know how to make. Except me, apparently.

Grilled cheese is best like BBQ: Low and slow. Heavy pan or griddle, butter the bread, and let it brown up really slowly on low to low-medium heat. Don't use the toaster

Also:

1. Don't use cheese straight out of the fridge; let it warm up to room temperature, like butter on toast.
2. Butter the bread, not the pan.
3. This is sacrilege, but true: American cheese works better than a "real" cheese. Velveeta works even better than American.

JoelF wrote:

chgoeditor wrote:I have a confession: I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich today (possibly the first I've ever made) and I destroyed it...burned one side to a blackened crisp. I'd assume that grilled cheese sandwiches are one of those basic dishes that anyone who cooks would know how to make. Except me, apparently.

Grilled cheese is best like BBQ: Low and slow. Heavy pan or griddle, butter the bread, and let it brown up really slowly on low to low-medium heat. Don't use the toaster

Yeah, that was my problem...I went straight to medium heat and before I knew it, the bottom slice of bread was burned. Once I figured it out, the rest browned nicely.

So no one else is going to 'fess up to not being able to cook seemingly basic things?

I had the same problem. Grilled cheese would burn and the cheese itself would not be melted. Pancakes too would look done but be raw on the inside.
The key is lower heat and longer cooking time to achieve perfect state of melty goldeness. Pancakes too, on lower heat and cook a little longer.

I'm not too big on making coffee it seemed either too strong or too weak so I scraped it and bought a Senseo and now I am happy every day. Some of the other single brew pots work in a similar way. Of course does not help if you want to grind your own beans, etc.

I can't think of anything else I can't cook really. Maybe a sunny side up or eggs over easy, etc. I can do eggs but I really don't eat them much unless in an omelet with a bunch of stuff in it so these specialized eggs are not something I have much practice with. Also I have a hard time with boiled eggs, turning grey and being hard to shell.

I have yet to really master the hard boiled egg. It's a cliche, I know. I either get the grey ring or just a smidge of dark yellow softness in the center of the yolk that one more minute would have fixed. And spinning the egg on its end is an unreliable test! I also have trouble making a steak in a pan without it getting tough. I've tried low and slow and it just doesn't work.

I can't broil fish. Either over or under cooked and I can't seem to tell which.

I was just going to say the same thing as Pie Lady. I can't ever remember how to do a boiled egg....properly.

I heard from Martha Stewart (why hast thou forsaken me, Martha?) that you put the eggs in water, bring it to a rolling boil, then cover the pot and remove from heat for ten minutes. I was told by a chef that if you stand an egg up on a flat surface, fatter side down, and spin it after boiling, you can tell if it's done. If it spins upright, it's done. If it topples over and spins on its side, you need to continue cooking. Generally this works, but I still end up with a bit of undercooked yolk.

That Martha technique, though popularly touted even in culinary schools, is nutty. You will get wildly different results depending on how much water you start with and how many BTU's your stove puts out, plus you have to stand over the pot so that you can mark exactly when the rolling boil starts. That's not practical, and it's completely unnecessary. Justt bring a big pot of water to a boil, then drop the eggs in carefully and set the timer for 9 minutes and 50 seconds (because it will take you 10 seconds to get up off the couch and to the stove). Drain the eggs and - this is key - plunge them immediately into ice water or they will continue cooking and you'll have the gray ring. Simple as could be, and fool proof - yet restaurant after restaurant continue to screw up hard boiled eggs.

I prick them with a pin and add a little vinegar to the pot. I have no idea if that actually does anything though.

Kennyz wrote:That Martha technique, though popularly touted even in culinary schools, is nutty. You will get wildly different results depending on how much water you start with and how many BTU's your stove puts out, plus you have to stand over the pot so that you can mark exactly when the rolling boil starts. That's not practical, and it's completely unnecessary. Justt bring a big pot of water to a boil, then drop the eggs in carefully and set the timer for 9 minutes and 50 seconds (because it will take you 10 seconds to get up off the couch and to the stove). Drain the eggs and - this is key - plunge them immediately into ice water or they will continue cooking and you'll have the gray ring. Simple as could be, and fool proof - yet restaurant after restaurant continue to screw up hard boiled eggs.

Exactly what Kennyz said. I usually boil mine for 11 minutes for a "hard" boiled egg and around 9 minutes if I like the yolk a little soft. You can experiment with 4 eggs - once the water boils, carefully add the eggs and then take them out at 9, 10, 11, and 12 minutes - moving them directly to cold water to cool completely. Then you'll know how long to cook your eggs based on your preferences.

Fully cooled eggs are also easier to peel, especially as you peel them under cold running water. If the eggs can cool immediately and completely, there shouldn't be a gray ring around the yolk. Another way to help eliminate the gray ring is do what Chef Pepin suggests and use a push pin to push a hole in the "fat" end of the egg - which he says releases the sulfur during the cooking process.

To add to the post, I can't make coffee. I really have never tried because I don't drink it but when guests come over, I always ask them and I feel pretty stupid. I'll just have to do it one day and have someone tell me if it's good or not. I've also tried Julia Child's omelets, where you add egg and shake and bump the pan until it flips over on itself. I know this is also about having the right pan (my 8" nonstick All Clad sucks for omelets because the sides are too high) and time on task. Maybe one day I'll bite the bullet and make about 10 omelets until I get it right. Oh yeah, I suck at properly trussing a chicken - just something I never concentrated on before but it's annoying the couple of times I've tried. I usually end up just trussing the legs together with string and leaving the rest of it alone.

teatpuller wrote:I prick them with a pin and add a little vinegar to the pot. I have no idea if that actually does anything though.

The pin prick is a good idea if you want to to take the pin to a lab to test for salmonella contamination, and adding vinegar to the water is an excellent idea from a sustainability standpoint, as it enables you to reuse the egg boiling water as a pickling brine.

Kennyz wrote: Drain the eggs and - this is key - plunge them immediately into ice water...

Ooops...I do that part and forgot to put it in my previous post.

I couldn't make coffee either until recently, and even now I make a version of half-assed coffee, since Mr. Pie's instructions were "just eyeball it".

tyrus wrote:To add to the post, I can't make coffee. I really have never tried because I don't drink it but when guests come over, I always ask them and I feel pretty stupid. I'll just have to do it one day and have someone tell me if it's good or not.

I don't drink coffee. I have finally come to grips with making coffee via a French press. One cup boiling water:one tablespoon coffee. Wait five minutes, then press.

I've also tried Julia Child's omelets, where you add egg and shake and bump the pan until it flips over on itself. I know this is also about having the right pan (my 8" nonstick All Clad sucks for omelets because the sides are too high) and time on task. Maybe one day I'll bite the bullet and make about 10 omelets until I get it right.

I've been working on this one, too. I come close to getting it almost right, but not quite. You really need to get the butter all over the pan to get it to slide around right. I find the egg will sometimes stick on the upper edges. If I use a spatula to quickly loosen, it goes better. I do like the custardy filling cooking it her style.

Oh yeah, I suck at properly trussing a chicken - just something I never concentrated on before but it's annoying the couple of times I've tried. I usually end up just trussing the legs together with string and leaving the rest of it alone.

I have a trussing needle that goes into the flesh of the body and legs. It ties everything up neatly.

Regards,

I suck at making plain, boiled, non-sticky white rice.
I think I try to mess with it too much.

Cathy2 wrote:

tyrus wrote:To add to the post, I can't make coffee. I really have never tried because I don't drink it but when guests come over, I always ask them and I feel pretty stupid. I'll just have to do it one day and have someone tell me if it's good or not.

I don't drink coffee. I have finally come to grips with making coffee via a French press. One cup boiling water:one tablespoon coffee. Wait five minutes, then press.

I've also tried Julia Child's omelets, where you add egg and shake and bump the pan until it flips over on itself. I know this is also about having the right pan (my 8" nonstick All Clad sucks for omelets because the sides are too high) and time on task. Maybe one day I'll bite the bullet and make about 10 omelets until I get it right.

I've been working on this one, too. I come close to getting it almost right, but not quite. You really need to get the butter all over the pan to get it to slide around right. I find the egg will sometimes stick on the upper edges. If I use a spatula to quickly loosen, it goes better. I do like the custardy filling cooking it her style.

Perhaps this would be a good use for the Boomerang Wok.

Cathy2 wrote:

Oh yeah, I suck at properly trussing a chicken - just something I never concentrated on before but it's annoying the couple of times I've tried. I usually end up just trussing the legs together with string and leaving the rest of it alone.

I have a trussing needle that goes into the flesh of the body and legs. It ties everything up neatly.

I used to mess this up, too, but then I found a video that actually helped from Ruhlman's blog. The singing makes all the difference:

bean wrote:I suck at making plain, boiled, non-sticky white rice.
I think I try to mess with it too much.

This is my problem, too. And I'll probably never learn. Thank goodness for rice cookers.

Cathy2 wrote:I don't drink coffee. I have finally come to grips with making coffee via a French press. One cup boiling water:one tablespoon coffee. Wait five minutes, then press.

,

coffee maybe a little weak---'standard' is 2T per cup of water--of course a coffee geek will weigh the coffee(13grams/cup iirc) because different roast levels have different volumes---but the bottom line is if you like it is brewed just fine!

Cathy2 wrote:I don't drink coffee. I have finally come to grips with making coffee via a French press. One cup boiling water:one tablespoon coffee. Wait five minutes, then press.

I use 2T for 6 oz water. Water 200-205 degrees. Preheat French press. 4 minute steep.

Perfectly boiled eggs have long been an issue for me. Glad to know I am not the only one! I can do most techniques but boiling an egg is a hurdle I often trip on

Kennyz wrote:That Martha technique, though popularly touted even in culinary schools, is nutty. You will get wildly different results depending on how much water you start with and how many BTU's your stove puts out, plus you have to stand over the pot so that you can mark exactly when the rolling boil starts. That's not practical, and it's completely unnecessary. Justt bring a big pot of water to a boil, then drop the eggs in carefully and set the timer for 9 minutes and 50 seconds (because it will take you 10 seconds to get up off the couch and to the stove). Drain the eggs and - this is key - plunge them immediately into ice water or they will continue cooking and you'll have the gray ring. Simple as could be, and fool proof - yet restaurant after restaurant continue to screw up hard boiled eggs.

Nutty, perhaps, but it has produced consistent and excellent results for me for decades. We do a dozen or more at a time this way and I pretty much have it down to a science.

Hard-to-peel eggs might not be your fault.

I suck at making omelets. I'm good with the scrambled, fried, poached and even shirred eggs, but I am just not patient enough and get underdone parts, or have the heat too high and make the butter bitter, or just tear the heck out of the thing. It's kind of comforting to see I'm not the only one.

I want to be better at mixed drinks. I think I get intimidated by the good ones I've had, and the expense of the materials, and the sheer glamour of mixology, and just goober stuff up. I mostly leave it to my husband and the pros for now.

I used to stink at making bacon... either too floppy or burnt. But I started baking it in the oven, and now I'm really happy with how consistently terrific it turns out, and would encourage others to try it too.

Cooks Illustrated has been my teacher for years now. My family has suffered through a lot of my Learning Experiences, and while I've never directly poisoned anyone... let's just say there were a few failures that even the dog wouldn't finish off.

spinynorman99 wrote:

Kennyz wrote:Just bring a big pot of water to a boil, then drop the eggs in carefully and set the timer for 9 minutes and 50 seconds (because it will take you 10 seconds to get up off the couch and to the stove).

Nutty, perhaps, but it has produced consistent and excellent results for me for decades. We do a dozen or more at a time this way and I pretty much have it down to a science.

Maybe I'm being an idiot... but do you continue boiling the eggs for those whole ten minutes with your method, or are you removing the pot and letting the eggs sit for ten minutes in the water?

I can make grilled cheese!

Today's lunch, grilled cheese with pancetta


Hard boiled eggs only sometimes are free of the green / grey ring

I bring the eggs to a boil (covered by 2 inches of water) and then cover and let sit for 14 min.
then into the ice bath. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not eliminate the off color.

mhill95149 wrote:I can make grilled cheese!

Today's lunch, grilled cheese with pancetta

Let me give you my work address. I'm here til 5.

Regarding boiling eggs, boiling them is not the best option. Bring them to a boil, then reduce heat and let them simmer for 10 minutes. But they get rubbery if you leave them at a rolling boil the whole time.

To avoid the gray ring, immediately put them under cold, running water -- or fill the pot with cold water and add a tray of ice cubes. Getting them cooled off quickly eliminates the ring.

My trick for identifying hard-cooked eggs is adding to the water before boiling a couple of pieces of those crisp, pale brown layers that enclose an onion. You don't need much. It will turn the shells pale brown, so you never again have to wonder which ones are hard cooked.

HI,

Hardboiled eggs: I put eggs into the water, heat it until just before boiling, then turn down to simmer for 18 minutes. Remove and place into cold water. I rarely have a ring.

Last night, I made egg salad with a dozen eggs. When I pealed it, I thought the yolk needed a few more minutes. It was solid, though softish. I still had the water in the pot, so I returned them for five minutes or so. Cooled them again, then proceeded with the salad.

If you do punch a hole in your eggs, the thought it will relieve the pressure and perhaps it will not crack. The vinegar's purpose is the quickly coagulate the egg whites, if you happen to have a crack and leak. I have done these things and stopped, because I no longer bring eggs to a vigorous boil.

My Grandfather liked his eggs undercooked. He frustrated his wife and many a hotel restaurant with his request for very loose boiled eggs. He send them back complaining they were overcooked until they got it right.

Regards,

Aren't "loose" boiled eggs considered soft boiled eggs? My day liked a soft boiled egg. He wanted to put it in a china egg cup, cut the top off horizontally, put in a lump of butter and salt and pepper. He was forever railing at my mom to get the china egg cups so he could have a proper soft boiled egg. I don't see people doing that too often now.

The other thing I have been inept at is opening wine bottles. I just opened my first wine bottle with a cork about a month ago.

toria wrote:Aren't "loose" boiled eggs considered soft boiled eggs? My day liked a soft boiled egg. He wanted to put it in a china egg cup, cut the top off horizontally, put in a lump of butter and salt and pepper. He was forever railing at my mom to get the china egg cups so he could have a proper soft boiled egg. I don't see people doing that too often now.

The other thing I have been inept at is opening wine bottles. I just opened my first wine bottle with a cork about a month ago.

one of these makes opening a wine bottle easy http://www.amazon.com/Metrokane-Rabbit- ... B000063K7G

Soft boiled eggs were always a treat as a kid--Mom served them in her Desert Rose egg cups-----just tried to make them with some eggs from a friends chickens---shells were so darn tough darn near needed an electric knife to get them open--all I made that day was a mess!