Are you sure that those are your only conditions? Something tells me you're holding back. And there's nothing I'd hate more than to agree to your conditions and then find that you kept something from us.

mrbarolo wrote:Please begin steering us towards the light with posts on BBQ, thin crust and Chicago-style pizzas, the concept of authenticity and how to define and identify it in Asian restaurants and their patrons, and the morality of foie gras.

And perhaps Chicken Vesuvius.

gourmondo wrote:I much smarter than most of the people here...

That's unpossible!

I checked the calendar, it's not April 1 yet. Someone is doing some chain yanking.

I think this is David Hammond…he is a rascal!

This is just a marvelous post in its entirety, but if you don't mind, I would like to parse. There is so much to absorb and enjoy.

First that there are no oldtimers rambling on about how much Arun, Trotter, Tramonto and all those other losers who wore a toque before the Achatz-Carlson era.

The suspense - how much what? The suspense keeps me hanging here.
And then there is the issue of the warning being directed only against old-timers. I would normally say this is pure ageism, where the young and perky can say anything and it is sparkling, or at least young and perky and that is just not fair! But honestly, I would rather listen to someone young, energetic and cute blather about nothing than some old, fat guy (you know who we are) expound on deep subjects, so I really cannot blame Gourmondo for just saying what I feel as well. And I really am not that interested in posts about Arun, Trotter and Tramonto, anyway.

Let's also keep in mind that in the world of the Internet we can all post young, perky and vacuous if we want. See Yelp for living proof.

Second thing is no one can reply to me with those stupid faces or other icons. I hate those things. If I wasn't politically correct, I'd say those things were gay.

Gourmondo, just fyi, these are called emoticons. And I <heart> you for saying what I felt already. I also am very glad you are not politically incorrect and did not use gay as a disparaging description. I know you are better than that.

Finally, no Rachel Ray imitators. The woman is beyond pathetic. The last thing I need when I'm trying to have an intelligent food discussion is for some halfwit to respond with "yummo" or "de-lish". This tiresome hasbeen wore out her welcome 20 years ago and the idiots who admire this dope reflect poorly on intelligent foodies everywhere.

This part confuses me. Yes, I agree that Rachael is tiresome, even annoying. But let's keep in mind that much of that is because she is imitating young, perky and vacuous, and if we can't do that, well doesn't that create a great risk that we will act old and smart? This could result in rambling intelligently on subjects like Trotter, Tramonto and Arun, rather than blathering mindlessly on the hottest new trends. Seems like a Catch 22, particularly if we are also being tasked not to reflect poorly on intelligent foodies. I am almost frozen in confusion, awaiting clarification before I can safely post again, being sure I am not besmirching the honor of my fellow LTH posters. Please help me Gourmondo, I need a guide here.

I much smarter than most of the people here, but I'll do my best not to talk down to you nice people. I assure everyone here that you'll all enjoy my insights into dining and food in general. I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

Like any great artist, Gourmondo is not a slave to his word, but rather to his muse. Yes, the previous part was final, but here, thankfully, is a bit more. I am grateful he is not talking down to me, even going so far as to call me nice (I glow with pride), but is also holding back so that when we attain the holy grail of his wonderful insights we will know it is because we are deserving. That will make it so much sweeter.

My only concern is exactly how we can meet his conditions. Since he has not posted so far, I know there are past posts that damn us. Rather than find those, I believe the best solution, in fact the only way we can assure we are deserving, is if the moderators delete all posts. That has the double benefit of both removing every offensive post (I am sure some will object at this point that we are also deleting perfectly good posts, too - to them I reply only that they need to look at the positive. We may be losing some old stuff, but we do it in order to gain much more.), and allowing Gourmondo's precious insights to bask in the undiluted glory they deserve.

Thank you very much Gourmondo for giving me the courage to (if I were not politically correct, I might say come out of the closet) openly discuss these thorny issues. It also is so much easier to do what I need to do when someone has told me what that is. I shall strive to be deserving.

Mods, I ask you to immediately delete this and every other post, so we can gain Gourmondo's precious wisdom immediately.

Ok, now that totally made my day (insert gratitutious emoticon here)

Happy Friday and welcome to Spring everyone

Have to say, it's charming to see how little it takes to make our (collective) day!

Thanks, gourmondo!

DANG! I ease off for a coupla days and miss the Event o' the Year. Sigh.. : (

I suspect "gourmando" is one of the kids I failed in sophomore logic last year. Sure sounds like one of them. Doesn't write quite as well, tho'.

Any bets on its being Hammond?? : — )

Geo

gourmondo wrote:I'm new here at LTH. I'll only stay on a few conditions...

I much smarter than most of the people here, but I'll do my best not to talk down to you nice people. I assure everyone here that you'll all enjoy my insights into dining and food in general. I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

We need a "(T)hrowing rose petals at your feet" icon.

And now for a Latin farewell, which YOU, being so much smarter than everyone here, should understand: Genuflectere ante gormando.