Food-related rant

In my office (soon, thankfully, to be my EX-office), I have a co-worker who chews and masticates unmercifully loudly, smacking, chewing, and chomping......making a painful and disgusting rancor!! It often gets to the point where I have to leave the room...a room of only 15x15 that houses 3 people and our computer heaps!!

Sometimes, if I'm dining out, and the volume level around is too low, I become painfully aware of the sounds of eating from the other diners. It really grosses me out.

Am I alone in this, or just insane in my crusade to quiet down the act of gustation?

Sal Monilla wrote:Am I alone in this, or just insane in my crusade to quiet down the act of gustation?

Hell no.

My father's family is a farming family. I spent countless hours at farm dinner tables listening to people eat corn on the cob. At a certain point--perhaps 11 or 12 years of age--I just cracked. I notified the family that I would not be able to stand it any longer. And, I haven't. If presented with such circumstances, I will leave the room. To this day, it is the most irritating sound to my ears*. Well, Reggae music comes in at a close second**.

Erik M.

* Yes, I like corn. Yes, I eat corn. But, no, I won't eat it that way myself. I cut it off of the cob.

** They are both enough to bring me nearly to violence. I am so not kidding.

Sal, I probably would flee a cubicle if my roommate was making too much noise with his or her body, no doubt, and ErikM, I prefer my corn cut off the cob, too, but only because I think it tastes better that way.

But let's think about this another way. ErikM, as one of the most savvy of Asian food enthusiasts, you have no doubt noticed that some Asian eaters make quite a bit of sound when eating. I've been told that this is not only traditional, but a sign of well-mannered satisfaction. Is this mistaken folk wisdom?

Bill Holland recommends slurping tea to aerate it and "open the tongue" to all the subtle flavors of the liquor. Is this so wrong? Should we allow the opinions of others to stifle our enthusiasm for eating or drinking as we please?

Under such circumstances -- when traditionally honored and under the direction of a respected gourmand -- is not sounding out your food acceptable or even desirable?

Hammond

There's a great invention for just this problem.

Mike G wrote:There's a great invention for just this problem.

There's a greater invention for just this problem.

time to start the flame throwers...

I find I'm pretty tolerant of eating noises. Generally people who are eating noisily are eating happily, and happy people make me happy.

On the other hand, a friend of mine in high school was an absurdly loud eater, and I can see how people could get aggravated by it.

Disgusting Habits YOU Can Acquire: Making Noise While Eating with Your Mouth Open

Circa 1975. Patoriq and I are in my house in Hyde Park, and we're eating (of course!). I notice that my dear friend is not only eating with his mouth open, but that he's emitting an intermittent low-decibel hum while eating with much gusto. Curious, I inquire, and he tells me that "food tastes better if you make noises while eating with your mouth open." I tried it. As has been the case so many times in the past, Patoriq was right. Food does taste better if you make noises while eating with your mouth open.

If you doubt the accuracy of this assessment, try it yourself.

But how can this be? I believe it's that the vibrations caused by the humming or chomping sounds actually create a vibration in the mouth, perhaps actually stimulating the taste buds and awakening flavor dimensions that are hidden to the more mannerly (i.e., repressed) closed-mouth, noiseless eater.

Now, though I encourage every reader to try this on his/her own, I offer the two caveats. Remember, it's quite challenging to deploy this food-enhancing strategy:
1. In restaurants without people thinking you're crazy and/or asking you to leave and
2. With wine (you need exceptional lingual/labial control to pull this off, or you end up with wine running down your chin, of course, if you're bold enough to try this tongue-tingling technique in the first place, then a little wine on the chin probably won't matter either).

I just replicated the experiment during lunch today: a Chicago hot dog with fresh Oak Park Farmer's Market tomatoes never tasted better.

I swear, it works. I'd be interested in any independent research on this topic.


Previously posted on CH.

I'm making a mental note here to turn down the Bob Marley/Peter Tosh whenever I might be driving near some of Erik M's favorite Thai places.

Noise cancelling headphones.
Saved my life.

An even betterinvention

Here at work, there is a lady who eats daily in the smallish lunch room with a few others. Every bite and chew is followed by a small vomiting/phlem-clearing sound, then a gulping swallow. Truly vile sounding. It's so incredibly disgusting to listen to that I haven't eaten in our lunch room for over a year.

As Dorthy Parker said, "Hell is other people."

cowdery wrote:As Dorthy Parker said, "Hell is other people."

Cowdery, I believe that statement was from the play No Exit by Sartre.

You may be confusing it with Parker's quip, "What fresh hell is this?"

David "Just a conduit for the words of others" Hammond

Sun Tzu said, "Every problem exists within yourself and therefore the solution."

Hammond wrote:I notice that my dear friend is not only eating with his mouth open, but that he's emitting an intermittent low-decibel hum while eating with much gusto.

You are describing my Father when he is eating something he especially likes. When he is making those low moaning noises while eating, I know he is very happy. When we are at a table full of family, it is easy to ignore. If it is dining one-to-one, then it's another story.

Years ago in my other life, our interpreter's daughter thought my Dad's moans while eating were conversation. Later, with a few lessons of English under her belt, she realized he was making noises and not converation.

My Dad apparently can control his enthusiasm, because I don't remember hearing him do it in public.

I'm embarrassed to say, I do exactly the same thing. I never noticed and no one ever said anything, until my mother in law. She would make me roasted asparagus and egg sandwiches instead of pepper & egg during Lent. I would make so many, (as she would call it ) yummy noises. She knew she did well when she heard me, until the day she made the toughest shoes, I mean ribs and no sounds came out of me. Thats when she told me all about the sounds I make when I'm eating something I really enjoy. So now, when I eat her dishes I make sure I make yummy noises to keep her happy. A small price to pay, to keep your mother in law happy. SOMETIMES.

David Hammond wrote:

Cowdery, I believe that statement was from the play No Exit by Sartre.

You are correct, sir. Apparently, it is also the name of a defunct New Zealand rock band. (Damn Google.)

Kim wrote:I'm embarrassed to say, I do exactly the same thing. I never noticed and no one ever said anything, until my mother in law. She would make me roasted asparagus and egg sandwiches instead of pepper & egg during Lent. I would make so many, (as she would call it ) yummy noises. She knew she did well when she heard me, until the day she made the toughest shoes, I mean ribs and no sounds came out of me. Thats when she told me all about the sounds I make when I'm eating something I really enjoy. So now, when I eat her dishes I make sure I make yummy noises to keep her happy. A small price to pay, to keep your mother in law happy. SOMETIMES.

Kim,

That is a beautiful story. Really.

Hammond

It's the "I'm going to get the last drop out of this drink, no matter how much noise the ice and my straw-sucking may make" kind of people that really get to me. Almost - but not quite - as annoying are the empty-glass-with-ice shakers -- I mean, really people, there's just not any more beverage in there, and you're only going to spill that ice all over your face.
The sound of silverware against the teeth absolutely makes my toes curl - a dear family member of mine is utterly incapable of getting through a meal without clanging his spoon or fork against his teeth a few times. Yeeeeeechhhh...