Astonishing news: Crunchberries are fake!

Reasonable Consumer Would Know "Crunchberries" Are Not Real, Judge Rules wrote:On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries" because she believed it contained real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit....

Next they'll be telling us there's no froot in Froot Loops.

I am still waiting for vindication in my suit against Post arising from my attempt to line the bottom of my koi pond with Fruity Pebbles, which resulted in the death of my fish after they ate what I thought were ornamental stones. Clearly the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the film, “The Never-Ending Story.”

LAZ wrote:

Reasonable Consumer Would Know "Crunchberries" Are Not Real, Judge Rules wrote:On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries" because she believed it contained real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit....

Next they'll be telling us there's no froot in Froot Loops.

The same law firm had already brought, and lost, that suit:

Judge England also noted another federal court had "previously rejected substantially similar claims directed against the packaging of Fruit [sic] Loops cereal, and brought by these same Plaintiff attorneys." He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot.

Has anyone ever found either grapes or nuts in a box of Grape-Nuts?

I have to say I'm very disappointed in the rulings in these cases. I'm now concerned about the chance of success in my upcoming lawsuits concerning hot dogs, french fries and hamburgers.

I like the last paragraph of the judge's opinion:

"Under normal circumstances, when this Court grants a Motion to Dismiss, the Plaintiff is given a reasonable period of time, usually twenty (20) days, in which to file an amended complaint. In this case, however, it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen."

Soon we will be told that there are no eggs and no cream in Egg Creams . . .

I've yet to find a pie containing whoopie, moon or chess.

All those years I've wasted hiking through South American rain forests looking for a crunchberry bush to bring home. I guess now I have to call Bigfoot and break the news.

Coogles wrote:All those years I've wasted hiking through South American rain forests looking for a crunchberry bush to bring home. I guess now I have to call Bigfoot and break the news.

Even if you'd found one, you never would've been able to bring it home - U.S. Customs frowns upon the importation of foreign froots & vegetables.