Sussing out the baby-friendliness of restaurants

We've all been there: a nice meal interrupted by an ill-advised infant placement. Now that I have one of my own to tote around, I find myself reassessing our dining habits with a mind to not being That Couple. The question of what places will be baby-friendly sometimes has obvious answers: anyplace we are regulars should be OK, quick-service places are fine, most ethnic restaurants fit the bill to some degree. But when thinking about places that do not fit the above criteria, I am not sure what to look for.

My mom will be visiting next week, and we plan to take her for Italian food (her favorite, and not much available where she lives). My first thought was Antica, where we had a decent BYOB experience when my brother visited, but I don't know quite how to determine how comfortable we'd be there with baby. Calling and asking seems obvious, but is any restaurant likely to instruct us not to darken their door?

Also, any tips from those experienced with toting the smaller family members would be appreciated. We are such newbies that we actually forgot the diapers last time we went out....

Go early. They forgive a lot when you're the only paying customer they have from 5:30 to 6:30.

The noisier the place is, the less your kid matters.

Pick a neighborhood where they're used to kids.

forgot the diapers... that actually made me LOL

my rule of thumb was inverse size of diaper bag to problems.
i.e., the larger the bag, the fewer the problems
more toys, food, juice, clothes, diapers, wipes, books, crayons, etc.
kept little ones happier.

I think staying away from places ppl tend to go as romantic or occaision restos is a good rule of thumb.
Also going on the earlier side vs the later side of dinnertime.
Also being willing to "pack it up" and "take it out" if a meltdown occurs is a good strategy.

just remember how you used to feel if it were you.
The thing I hate the worst (and I am a mom of 3, including twins) who all have good resto manners...
is when parents let their kids run around physically endangering the kids, other diners and the waitstaff.
JMHO

My experience is that almost all restaurants are baby friendly if the baby keeps quiet, and almost all restaurants are baby unfriendly if the baby starts wailing. So I just go wherever I want to go with the expectation that I will just get up and leave if the little one starts getting loud. That means places with food that will taste good good packed up and reheated when I get home later, and places that are pretty cheap, since I don't want to shell out big bucks only to have to pick up and go in a hurry before my entree arrives.

We have all been there? That's news to me. Why is it assumed that humanity has been exposed to and suffered the horror of a crying baby at every turn, e.g., on a plane, at a restaurant, etc? NEWS FLASH: Crying babies don't bother near as many people as you might think

End rant.

If you want Italian, and don't want to worry about getting hassled, go to Sabatino's. They might even stash you in one of those semi-private sweetheart booths. Happened to us once. Or as has been said, just go early.

I have been shocked (in a good way) about how baby friendly almost every restaurant we have been to (including Takashi which at the time did not have a high chair). The main thing we consider in picking a restaurant is simply some noise to drown out the potential baby noises that might be noises of delight to your child but not so delightful for the neighboring table. The only other thing is to have an exit strategy if the baby is just not in the mood to dine out that evening. Also, don't let one bad experience spoil your plans of taking your child out. In my horribly controlled experiment of a single two year-old, he really has become so used to going out to eat that he is often unphased sitting in a high chair for almost 2 hours. I think the problem often becomes expecting a kid to sit still for so long when their max time is usually 10 minutes.

Btw, Antica is very lovely to babies. Good luck with your dining adventures with baby and enjoy!

Not a bad call to suss out the supplies and logistics - while some ethnic places may not have high chairs or changing tables in the bathroom and be eager for babies, most places that don't have them will be less comfortable, even if you use neither. Plus, it's really, really unpleasant to try to change a baby (well, I suppose some are less wiggly than mine were) when there isn't a designated area to do so.

The least baby-friendly place where I was stuck for hours, unable to escape with a wailing infant Sparky: the BMV. Restaurants are usually the least of your worries.

I saw a baby and a single diner at Naha. It wasn't a problem.

Infants, if they are quiet, are usually no problem almost anywhere. Frew people will object to your sleeping baby in a carrier next to your table. If you're prepared to leave if the baby wakes up and start wailing, and don't do things in the dining room that will make other diners uncomfortable, you'll be fine. (Although, as Mhays notes, it might be awkward if the baby needs fresh diapers somewhere unequipped with a changing table.)

Things become much more difficult once they get to the sitting up and toddler stage. When you get to that point, you should be calling ahead to find out if the restaurant has high chairs and a kids' menu. If they do not, you should probably think twice about taking your child there.

Things become much more difficult once they get to the sitting up and toddler stage. When you get to that point, you should be calling ahead to find out if the restaurant has high chairs and a kids' menu. If they do not, you should probably think twice about taking your child there.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Not the dreaded kids' menu!

Not the extruded pink chicken nugget and the mac and cheese at every meal!

I'm fine with the rest of this. But the kids' menu is the enemy of all that is good and pure, taking a child who is open to the world and experiences and teaching him to refuse to eat anything except his three pre-ordained, fatty and unimaginatively American choices. That there's a special category just for him, designed to protect him from new experiences. And if he plays his cards right, he can eat that way his whole life.

What one has to do, as a parent, is take TWO FRICKIN' SECONDS and look at the menu online. Do they make pasta with red sauce or alfredo? Do they make beans and rice and tortillas? Are there two or three items of REAL FOOD that between them, will lead to one thing your child will eat?

If you don't see these things, fine. You just can't go there with kids, and that's okay. You probably can't go there with Great Uncle Sid, either. Some fine dining places, they just aren't able to make anything without adding something that will alienate your child. I've watched my children pick the one piece of basil off a slice of Great Lake pizza. This will happen. But even if they'll eat nothing else, they'll eat a side of plantains at El Llano, some crab rangoon with your secret menu Thai, whatever. They will eat entire meals consisting only of bread. But start, from an early age, refusing to fall into the chicken nuggets trap. And very soon, they will surprise you with what they love, and you will have experiences like mine.

I so agree with MikeG, children's menus are the source of all evil. Just adjust from the regular menu and your children will live to thank you.

Call the restaurant and ask. Usually coming early or late is the key. If they don't have high chairs or booster seats, it is generally a clue that they do not exactly welcome children.

Mike G wrote:

Things become much more difficult once they get to the sitting up and toddler stage. When you get to that point, you should be calling ahead to find out if the restaurant has high chairs and a kids' menu. If they do not, you should probably think twice about taking your child there.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Not the dreaded kids' menu!

No argument on the depths of evil displayed in the typical kids menu. But consider the possibility that the point -- a good one, I think -- is that the presence of a kids menu, whether or not you order from it, is a pretty good indication that the restaurant is happy to have you bring the little ones.

Mike G wrote: But start, from an early age, refusing to fall into the chicken nuggets trap. And very soon, they will surprise you with what they love, and you will have experiences like mine.

I really hope this will happen for us. My husband and I have on our side the fact that we don't like fast food or crappy processed crap like chicken nuggets, so the kid is unlikely to be exposed to it anyway. Still and all, my parent's approach of feeding us a wide variety of things (well, a wide variety by the standards of 80s suburbia) resulted in one adventurous eater and one hater of food, so who knows.

We're going to test our restaurant legs a little more by having dinner at Ras Dashen, where we know the owner and all of that. We've been out to coffee shops and breakfast, but this will be a new experience. And then he can try out the kitfo secondhand later

ews wrote:Crying babies don't bother near as many people as you might think.

Fully agreed.

and then again, there are a great many people, who on the rare occasion do get to go out and pay for the priviledge of having someone else cook and clean up,
are fairly well bothered by having to listen to someone else's kid scream at length.
I am not talking about a few minutes fussiness while you prepare a bottle, jar, or get out a breast.
I am talking about allowing the child or baby to go on and on....
it's just plain rude.

or get out a breast.

Because no one could object to that!

I know that some people do object to breast feeding babies in public,
but I don't, and I feel that it's ridiculous.
I would much rather have a breast-feeding baby than a crying baby.
Most moms who are breast feeding do it discretely,
and they are nourishing their infant- not doing a strip tease...
Of course there is always an exception - someone behaving badly...(ie. your link)
Folks who object to infants being fed instead of fussy are just plain wrong IMHO.

I know we're jumping the gun for the OP, but one of the blogs I follow on nutrition, has this excellent guide on taking kids to restaurants.

I agree 100% that feeding your kids exclusively from the kids menu is the root of all evil. That said, a nugget or mac and cheese now and then never hurt anybody - my personal preference is to go to restaurants where they don't offer such things and let him order whatever he chooses. Appetizers are a good call.

That said, for information's sake, it's important to note that kids who eat food sometimes prefer "kid" foods during the various stages of toothlessness - and parents typically only offer accommodation on the first go-round. This does NOT mean stick with the kids menu - it means be aware that food refusal can be about being unable to chew and bite properly (I think one reason Sparky loves most Asian food is because it adresses this need - foods are generally tender and in bite-size pieces.)

Folks who object to infants being fed instead of fussy are just plain wrong IMHO.

And the people who feel the opposite, feel your view is just plain wrong.

And the people who feel that people are oversensitive sometimes think that the people who feel that people are insensitive are wrong, and vice versa.

I think what we can all agree on is that we're all against egregious behavior.

There, now peace is restored.

Mike G wrote:There, now peace is restored.

Thank goodness for that...

Dmnkly wrote:No argument on the depths of evil displayed in the typical kids menu. But consider the possibility that the point -- a good one, I think -- is that the presence of a kids menu, whether or not you order from it, is a pretty good indication that the restaurant is happy to have you bring the little ones.

Yes, that is exactly what I meant. I don't care what you feed your kids. But restaurants that really welcome children have special accommodations for them and, typically, staff who are accustomed to serving them, as well as patrons who are prepared to dine alongside them.

Restaurants that do not have high chairs or changing tables or kids' menus are not -- no matter how graciously they may handle it if you ignore all the signs and go there anyway -- really desirous of having children as customers. In addition, I do know quite a few people who seek out restaurants that do not offer children's accommodations on purpose. In particular, I recall a couple with several small children who, on the rare occasions they could spring for a babysitter, deliberately went to the most adults-only places they could find. Having paid to get away from their own kids, they would have been most chagrined to find someone else's children at the next table.

Disagree on the evilness of kid's menus. They are generally a real bargain, and feeding three kids, who liked what was on there (at that age), made it a no brainer. Your implication that that will train kids to have narrow tastes is simply wrong, at least for my kids, who are now full grown cooks and adventurous eaters, and were from a young age.

Jonah

Boy has this topic strayed from the OP's question on where to take her newborn!

Suzy, how old is your child? Are they still in the infant stage, where they'll just sit in the car seat the whole time, or will they sit at the table and eat? My daughter was far, far, far too fussy to bring ANYWHERE until she was about six months old/able to sit in a high chair, but based on my observations, nearly every place is perfectly happy to have your baby in a carrier. Like others have said, be sure to bring lots of toys, be ready to feed, be ready to leave if need be. When they're older and eating, I also rec bringing toys, crayons, small snacks/drinks to occupy them until the food arrives (I agree wholeheartedly w/the rec of Sabatino's, which is super kid-friendly, but the food takes a long time to arrive and the kiddos get sick of sitting unless you distract them- I also let Princess Grace drink juice in restaurants for the same reason. juice=baby/toddler candy=quiet child.)

My daughter is an EATER, so for the most part, we have good luck in restaurants because they revolve around her favorite activity. I know that my food-hating nephew is much harder to take to restaurants, but I'm not sure how much his parents try/care about going out to eat.

Another suggestion that I've seen work well for friends (and what might be especially good for your first couple of outings until you feel more comfortable) is to go to places where you could order ahead to shorten the time spent at the restaurant. I would guess that most places would be fine with this (so long as they're not super crowded/on waits) and some actually do this regularly (Barnaby's in Northbrook). If all is going well, you can always linger a bit over dessert but you lessen the likelihood that you'll have to leave pre- or mid-meal.

With a now alnmost 4 y.o., we have not had to alter our dining out much at all. We just go out earlier, pretty much any place will not have a problem with a baby or toddler if you go before 7:00 p.m. Some of our regular spots which wouldnt be considered kid friendly at first glance are: Joes Stone Crab, Saloon Steakhouse, The Palm, (we like red meat obviously) & Big Star. Ethnic restaurants are a no brainer, lots of kids, also any GNR I have been to I wouldnt hesitate to bring Shay(keep in mind we go to more of the hole in the wall, neighborhood joints vs the couple higher end places on the GNR list by choice anyway). If I eveer have my doubts about a place I want to go and havent gotten any good feedback on LTH regarding kids, I call the restaurant. I dont think I have ever been told no, we dont allow kids. With the above said if the baby/toddler starts crying or disturbing other diners it is the parents responsibility to remove the child/toddler from the dining room. My wife and trade off this responsibility. A 2 hour dinner/meal is a long time to expect a child to not get antsy. Typically after a short walk everything is ok, and we can return.

Disturbing other diners is unacceptable, be that a crying child, or yapping into your cellphone.

Kids menus, not worth it $$$ wise, or food wise. The only place Shay orders off the kids menu is Cajun Connection, deep fried alligator kids meal(i snag some of the gator). What we do is share what we eat, and have been doing it since she was a baby. Seems to work as she eats pretty much anything nowdays(other than spicy foods). Order an extra entree, an extra plate, and let her/him try everything, they will thank you later in life for exposing them to different foods and taking them out to eat.

sweetsalty wrote:Suzy, how old is your child? Are they still in the infant stage, where they'll just sit in the car seat the whole time, or will they sit at the table and eat? My daughter was far, far, far too fussy to bring ANYWHERE until she was about six months old/able to sit in a high chair, but based on my observations, nearly every place is perfectly happy to have your baby in a carrier. Like others have said, be sure to bring lots of toys, be ready to feed, be ready to leave if need be. When they're older and eating, I also rec bringing toys, crayons, small snacks/drinks to occupy them until the food arrives (I agree wholeheartedly w/the rec of Sabatino's, which is super kid-friendly, but the food takes a long time to arrive and the kiddos get sick of sitting unless you distract them- I also let Princess Grace drink juice in restaurants for the same reason. juice=baby/toddler candy=quiet child.)

My daughter is an EATER, so for the most part, we have good luck in restaurants because they revolve around her favorite activity. I know that my food-hating nephew is much harder to take to restaurants, but I'm not sure how much his parents try/care about going out to eat.

He's six weeks old, so content to just hang out for the most part. As long as we time it so he's not starving or wet, he arrives asleep in his car seat and stays that way. We took him to Ras Dashen last week and he snoozed like a champ We might try Smak-Tak tonight.

I thought of this thread at dinner last night. My daughter was at a "sleep-under" and I had a very pleasant meal-- just me and my laptop-- at John's Place in Roscoe Village. The staff was great to me as a solo diner, even encouraging me to linger as long as I wanted. Back on topic, this place is kid-friendly to the max-- and there were tons of families there. The service was superb and the food was very good-- I had the Cowboy Burger, medium rare. Another plus with kids-- bread shows up right away and the food comes fast. Thursday was $4 glass of wine night-- yum.

Jen

http://www.johnsplace.com/
John's Place
2132 W. Roscoe,
Chicago, IL 60618
773/244-6430