The Misanthrope's Thanksgiving 2010

Ebenezer Scrooge once had a lock on Christmastime cynicism. But he’s been surpassed by Leanne Star in today’s Chicago Tribune food section. She begins, “Hate your family? Sick of your friends?” Proposing a holiday dinner for one, Star shares a recipe for Thanksgiving Loaf (sic), taunting, “Let your vegan sister-in-law choke down her Tofurky.”

Thanksgiving Loaf is a bacon-topped mixture of ground turkey, sweet potato, bread, onion, cranberry, egg and herbs. Star imagines that one “. . . might be tempted to mush together the items on your plate at at communal Thanksgiving dinner - because it really does taste better that way [emphasis added]."

Huh?

This solo solution reminds me of nothing so much as Nutraloaf, aka “disciplinary loaf” or “special management meal” served to inmates in some state prisons. Back in July, Jeff Ruby of chicagomag.com tried it down at the Cook County Jail, and reported that it looked, “so intrinsically disagreeable that my throat closed up reflexively.” I invite you to compare Star’s Thanksgiving Loaf and the Wiki pictures of Nutraloaf. A sprig of thyme and a sprinkling of parsley are all that stand between them.

I say, give me Tofurky any day. Or follow sazerac's plan:

sazerac wrote:

Rene G wrote:

The Tofurky's appearance improved dramatically after cooking and it was as easy to carve as a hardboiled egg.

I'll take haggis any day

I'm sorry, I think tofu turkey is just sad.

LOL - Sparky came home today with vegan marshmallows. They were tooth-achingly sweet and lacked the proper marshmallow texture (not sure why, exactly - after all, there is such a thing as vegan gelatin)

There are all kinds of delicious foods that are naturally vegan - in fact, our tradition involves (mostly - I don't check the bread, and I've been known to sneak drippings or butter in it) vegan stuffing that's baked in a pumpkin. I use cider and wine for the liquid, and don't bother with stock - I'm glad to have a recipe that's adaptable to my guests, but that doesn't compromise in flavor. It would easily serve as the centerpiece of a Thanksgiving dinner, including that Norman Rockwell carving moment, but without all the concessions you have to make to have a faux-meat turkey.

tofurkey is just wrong on so many levels and it unfortunately is on my table every year
thank you dear brother