I can be obsessive about types of jokes sometimes. Used to be able to rattle off 30 lightbulb jokes whether anybody wanted to hear that many or not.
Without further ado, some "waiter, waiter" jokes:
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Don't worry sir that spider on your bread will soon get him !
Waiter, do you have frogs legs ?
No sir, I've always walked like this.
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
Waiter, there is a fly in the butter !
Yes sir, it's a butterfly!
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup.
Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.
Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup !
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !
Waiter, there is a dead fly swimming in my soup !
Don't be silly, dead flies can't swim !
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Surely not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about.
Waiter, this soup tastes funny !
Then why aren't you laughing ?
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
Waiter, this coffee is terrible, it tastes like earth !
Yes sir, it was ground yesterday !
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Just you wait until you see the main course !
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.
Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !
Waiter, there is a small slug in this lettuce
I'm sorry sir, would you like me to get you a bigger one ?
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
Waiter, there is a beetle in my soup !
Sorry sir, we're out of flies today !
Waiter, there is a wasp in my pudding !
So that's where they go in winter !
Waiter, there is a slug in my salad !
Sorry madam, no pets allowed !
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !
It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup ?
It looks like it's learning to swim sir.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.
Waiter, why is there a fly in my ice cream ?
Perhaps he likes winter sports !
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!
Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading.
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !
Waiter, there are two flies in my soup !
That's alright sir, have the extra one on me !
Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
Oh no, who will look after his family !
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for 2 dollars - a live one?
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them !
Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
Waiter, there's a fly in my custard !
I'll fetch him a spoon sir !
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !
Waiter, there is a slug in my salad !
I'm sorry sir, I didn't realise you where a vegetarian !
Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
. . . and this is an EDITED list.
Giovanna
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"Enjoy every sandwich."
-Warren Zevon