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Not just for breakfast anymore

By mzurer

The pork butts seem to actually slump upon themselves as if they can no longer support their own weight. Got a Weber Smokey Mountain? Before you waste another afternoon or cut of meat, follow the professor's five-step program. I have never been lucky enough to partake of his fare, but those who have swear he is the master. He smokes more meat than you have ever seen, unless you work in a slaughterhouse. Check out the forums for advanced techniques and further study.

From a student:

Air conditioning broke in office so decided to go for it. Will follow Professor to the letter. Water smoker. Check. Chiney starter. Check. Go to Home Depot.

All they had was little clear bags of hickory for $5.99. Bought three.

10am Mexican grocery I pass by every day was still closed. Make complicated hand signals with other shoppers waiting at door. Move on. Bought chickens at Krogers. No Perdue. Settled for Tyson.

Back to Mexican grocer, now open. No, they don't have the Goya marindade but next week, si! Crap. Have pollo heating nicely in car backseat. Already committed.

Went home. Split up pollo. One substituting with a bottle of Stubb's marinade I've had for a year, other skipping ahead to brine marinade in recipe #2. You have to brine overnight but dinner is at 7pm tonight. Crap.

Set up smoker and- holy crap! Smoker is a Weber but not a Smoky Mountain! No vents in lid.

But! Hornets nest in lid! Narsty mildew in bottom. Hose out everything. Hose self too. Happier. Retreat back to work. Air conditioning still out. 95 degrees.

Do NOT tell Prof. Wiviott my address. Will reply with follow-up tonight after dinner.