Police Blotter: Crimes against food

(Maybe this thread could capture (eccentric crimes) involving food, which one would have a hard time finding anyplace to link it to. )

Man Vandalizes Food At Grocery Store

A manager at a grocery store in the 5700 block of Touhy (Pointe Plaza) reported May 10 that a man had entered the store on May 5 at about 9 p.m., gone to the rice aisle and began to cut open several bags of rice with a box cutter or similar tool. She did not know why he did it.

The man came into the store again on May 10 and purchased several food items. The manager agreed that if and when he returned, she would contact police and a member of the store's management would tell the man he is no longer welcome in the store.

When I saw the title of the thread, I thought it was going to be about my mom's cooking.

=R=

Identify thief nabbed due to his food pics.

And the photo is actually pretty crappy. Hope it was worth it.

I too was slightly mislead by the thread title.

My nomination was for any short order cook who mashes my burger on the griddle, squeezing all the juice out of it.

Buddy

BuddyRoadhouse wrote:I too was slightly mislead by the thread title.

My nomination was for any short order cook who mashes my burger on the griddle, squeezing all the juice out of it.

Buddy

I have no problem with this. That's my preferred method for making them at home. The juices seem to help the burger caramelize up real nice. Wouldn't dream of doing it on a grill, but on a griddle, it's fine. IMHO. YMMV.

In fact, this is how I like them. I think the whole "don't smash the burger down" thing is overblown. I've tried it both ways, and I prefer the smashing technique myself.

Or this write-up. For me, that type of smashed burger is perfection.

First off, apologies to Cathy2 for my inadvertent hijacking of this thread.

Next, my response to Binko is simple: The examples you've provided are specifically for "skinny" burgers; those old fashioned, mashed on the griddle, crispy, lacy edged burgers you commonly find at Culver's, Steak N Shake, and slightly more obscurely, at Winstead's in Kansas City. Those types of burgers are meant to be mashed; the mashing contributing to their textural uniqueness. I ain't knocking those Burgers. I'm a big fan--If that's the type of Burger I want...

What I'm talking about are the 1/3 to 1/2 lb. (and beyond) "Pub" Burgers, along the lines of a Paradise Pup, or Kuma's Burger (although I have no particular love for Kuma, I do respect their efforts). Those big, meaty, juicy beasts of the Burger world should be handled with reverence; allowed to interact with the heat at their own pace, and not thrashed to within an inch of their beefy lives.

Maybe the counterman feels a need to justify his existence. Maybe he thinks I want him to put on a show while he "cooks" my patty. I have seen these louts poke, prod, mash, and mangle a perfectly good piece of cow flesh, all in the cause of making it cook faster. I say to thee counterman, "Leave my Burger alone! It knows what its doing. It knows how to play with fire without any extra urging from you. Take your sharp edged spatula away from my precious Burger and stick it someplace where it will do far more good!"

In short, there's room in this wide, wide world for more than one type of Burger; them that was meant to be mashed, and them that wasn't. Enjoy them both, but never confuse the one for the other.

Buddy

Ah, okay, then we don't disagree. There's just some people I've met that have this inflexible rule that burgers are never to be pressed or mashed, or that they're only supposed to be flipped once, and some such nonsense.