Food Affairs

This was briefly touched upon in another thread and since I plan on having at least two affairs this week, I thought I'd start this thread.

You might wonder why I have these affairs and all I can say is that I can't help myself. I have the opportunity because the wife is at work and I'm not(more vacation time). And really, the stomach wants what the stomach wants and if I'm not getting it at home... My wife just isn't into my kinks.

So, if you happen to see that diner with sunglasses on and a hat pulled down, that's not me.

One last tip if you're planning on having an affair, brush your teeth, because they can always tell.

I guess I'm not cut out for the illicit rendezvous, as my food affairs generally end with me calling my wife and saying, "guess what I just had?"

Since instead of keeping it a secret, I in fact boasted about it, this is not so much a case of a food affair as food trolling.

When my brother came to visit this summer, we went to Hot Doug's three days in a row. So when my cousin came to visit last week, and the first place I took her was Hot Doug's, I immediately texted some before and after photos to my brother. He replied with some not very nice things to say about me and my '2nd rate city'.

I think I got to him.

I had an affair today. I enjoyed it and it ended all too quickly. I fell head over heels for her last week when I saw her on that foodporn show, Triple D. I arrived early for our tryst as I was tingly with anticipation. When she arrived, she was ample, lovely to look at, beautifully dressed and hot! I devoured her. And then it was over. I was spent. I was also feeling just a bit guilty but I'll get over it. I'm going to have another affair tomorrow but as for today, I'll always have the memory of the grilled laughing bird shrimp and fried oyster po'boy at Nana's.

My food affairs usually involve fish. And more often than not, that's fish from TAC Quick. Fish maw salad, the sticky rice with various mix-ins (spoiler: dried shrimp), the papaya salad with salted crab. All things I can't have when out to dinner with the husband since it all grosses him out.

I've had two recurring food affairs (mistresses) over the last two years:

Calumet Fisheries for a variety of oily, smokey things my wife doesn't care for; particularly smoked salmon heads. I usually get busted with this one, as the smell lingers on my digits for at least 7 hours after.

Longman & Eagle for whatever looks good. My wife loves the place as much as I do, but she says all the food is too heavy to eat more than once every couple of months. Definitely not the case for me...

My hot, smokey, saucy, mistress has been a part of my life for several years now. Oddly enough tho, wife 1.0 (who barely eats any meat aside from nibbles of chicken and fish) recently started being agreeable to me bringing her home so we can both indulge in the carnal delights. I thought there was no way in hell it would happen, but after a few drinks, and some reassurance that it was only a physical attraction, we gave it a shot and have been happy ever since. It really isn't too weird, cuz my mistress has the best of both worlds as some would say. I like to nibble on her tips, mostly, and wife 1.0 only likes the sausage. I only wish Uncle John's was closer to the house.

Oh sweet Jesus, the Dear Penthouse Forum of LTH.

How tawdry can youse guys get?

It's not truly tawdry until someone breaks out the Cheez Whiz.

So what do you call it when you send other people pictures of your food via text message? Fexting?

Here's my enduring food affair . . .


Double Redhot Ranch Burger with Cheese (and grilled onions) from Redhot Ranch on Ashland

At $5.25 (including the fries), this affair may be cheap and even a bit trashy but I never feel any shame over it and I'm pretty sure it's love. And doesn't she look great under those fluorescent lights?

=R=

ronnie_suburban wrote:Here's my enduring food affair . . .


Double Redhot Ranch Burger with Cheese (and grilled onions) from Redhot Ranch on Ashland

At $5.25 (including the fries), this affair may be cheap and even a bit trashy but I never feel any shame over it and I'm pretty sure it's love. And doesn't she look great under those fluorescent lights?

=R=

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xy4vqj_stevie-wonder-isn-t-she-lovely-1976-w-lyrics_music

kenji wrote:Oh sweet Jesus, the Dear Penthouse Forum of LTH.

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