I Hate the "Warehouse Club" [rant]

God do I hate the Warehouse Club. My wife and kids seem to want to go every weekend piling in the minivan like they’re going to Disney Land. It must be those samples they proffer, the frozen, processed, over salted, crap prepared in electric skillets, and microwaves, by bitter oldsters who lost their pensions. Perhaps it’s novel in this obese society to hold a giant can of pork and beans that one cannot possible consume next to your, in the massive scale of it all, misshapen head

Yeah, I know you can save some dough. Stock up! I got a giant bottle of soy sauce, a massive bottle of ketchup, and four kinds of dessert “fruit” topping all taking up the beer space in the fridge. Due to double dipping, that massive jar of peanut butter is half jelly by now. The majority of the blimp sized potato chip bag is potato chip dust.

But Mrs. Ramon says, “But look, I got boneless skinless chicken breast for $2.99 a pound!” Ugh, same product down the street at the local market on sale $1.69/lb, and you don’t have to buy an obscene amount. “But look at this deal on a case of toilet paper!” Better deal at T-Mart a couple blocks away, a bit softer to boot. “And the gas is so cheap!” Don’t use gas and cheap in the same sentence, and didn’t you notice the c-stores on your lengthy travel with both gas and milk priced less? And you don’t have to be a member and carry another wallet expanding card?

Well, I admit, when pressed for time, sometimes the club is the place to go. Still, I enter with a list, and keep to it. The old lady, on the other hand, always comes home with some expensive impractical item and a giant package of something nobody even knows if they like -- always best to try new things in large quantities. I’d like to use my freezer to keep some homemade stock, but all the space is taken by a hefty box of MaiTaiVille Coconut Shrimp – even sober I wouldn’t eat. Wasted again …

Really, I try not to over-analyze my wife’s purchases, after all I do not want to hear, “Yeah, your taco lunch cost you less than five bucks, but thirty miles of gas, and two hours of time.” For some reason though, whatever she brings home, I have to carry from the car into the house. I think this goes back to the “I fly you buy” rule, but it doesn’t quite parse out.

One day, a handful plus years ago, I went out to the van to do my duty and found a large crate with rope handles. I tried to lift it and it barely budged. “Wenzel” was burned into the blond wood. “What the hell is this?” I asked meekly, hopefully expecting a Stephen King inspired beast. “A cast iron cooking set,” she said. “But you don’t even cook,” I sighed. I hired an itinerant band of Sherpas to lug the crate inside.

After the Sherpas, with the help of their yaks, lugged the monstrosity into the kitchen I examined said requisition:

(All pieces came with carrying bags. Just what I want to lug around! Explain that to the airport screeners.)

A small sauce pan – what I am I going to do with this? I’ve never used it and never will. Any cheap sauce pan is better. Anybody want this piece of junk (in travel case)?

A Dutch oven. I’ve actually used this a number of times (perhaps once a year) more for novelty sake than practicality. Gimme iron enamel coated and we’re talking Dutch oven.

The standard cast iron frying pan. This resides on my cooktop, breaths with my lungs, my blood runs the same temperature. I would not live without this pan.

And the reversible griddle/grill pan. Continued here.

-ramon

I hear ya man. Their motto should be "More than you need at not a great price!"

The Wife frequently comes home from Costco with massive quantities -- not that she has much choice, given the business model of the store -- but I've learned NOT to express a preference for any type of Costco-available item in her presence. For instance, I say I like apples, she buys a case; I say I like catsup, she brings home three bottles so big I have to build an addition to house them.

I assume, of course, that our wives shop so voraciously in an effort to fill in an interior emptiness -- perhaps if we were more emotionally available, more caring, more sensitive and communicative they wouldn't turn to material items to take the place of whatever it is that we're supposed to give them.

Hammond

You guys are getting old. Let me remind you why Costco is important, in descending order of gravity: infant formula, diapers, red meat, wine and fresh seafood. Say what you want about how I can get it better and cheaper elsewhere. You will be, at best, mistaken. (OK, wine is hit or miss in terms of value, but I'm somewhat dependent on the Scavino barolos that have been in stock and well cheaper than other sources.) I left out consumer electronics and printer cartridges because those aren't regular purchases. Come on, they go to the Coop in Italy and the, well, Costco in Mexico, even where the people live Slow. It's not the answer for everything, really, just a few fungible, expensive things that I need a lot of. No Margaritaville shrimp for me.

Oh, and the Asian and latino storefront restaurant owners (you know, the people that cook for LTH's favorite restaurants), they are the ethnic folks buying those 40 lb burlap bags of basmati, huge packs of condiments and paper, and cooking oil. They like such places fine. Like Chicago (Daley), my logic does not extend to Wal*Sam's.

The warehouse does have it's advantages in seafood though - fairly priced jumbo king crab legs, inexpensive dungeness crab, decently priced aji tuna and sockeye salmon fillets for $8.99/lb?!?!? You save a bundle on wine too.

And Cosco often gets some decent cookbooks in. Within a couple of days of The Silver Spoon being released, it was available (slightly damaged) at Costco for even less than on Amazon, and with no shipping charges.

I also like getting the large containers of organic spring greens for $3, instead of $10 at the grocery store. (At both Sam's and Costco.)

And if you're expected to take something to a party, the 2 pound hunk of 2-year-old extra-sharp Tillamook cheddar makes an impressive cheese platter more reasonably priced.

One must shop selectively, but one can make it a blessing, rather than a curse.

Plus Harry Potter, below anyone else's price, on release and when I needed to make a boatload of chickpea salad, the humongo can did come in handy

I priced it out, and make up the cost of my membership on Lactase enzyme alone. Which means I CAN get the Tillamook cheddar

leek wrote:I priced it out, and make up the cost of my membership on Lactase enzyme alone. Which means I CAN get the Tillamook cheddar

Not to mention that when we needed a new car, the Costco discount gave us a starting negotiation point with other non-Costco dealers!

gtgirl

Hmm, I though there already was a "we love Cosco" thread. You can read it and my further comments (to continue the incontinuity) here.

-ramon

Ramon wrote:Hmm, I though there already was a "we love Cosco" thread. You can read it and my further comments (to continue the incontinuity) here.

-ramon

Yes, Ramon, I believe your original intent was misread. Oh well...there IS a lot to like about Costco.

David "There's a silver lining somewhere over the rainbow" Hammond

I think alot of dislike for warehouse stores have a lot to do with when you visit them. When I was in the workforce, my trips usually took place on the weekend. I wanted to hurt people. I would watch people pushing and shoving to get a sample of cheese! Then you would get to the checkout line and be ready to hurt again!

Now that I am a homemaker, I go right when it opens. It is usually a pleasant experience. You don't have the feeling that you are being pushed along in a wave of sweaty people. That's my recommendation.

* On a side note, whatever bad feelings you have toward warehouses, I feel tenfold towards Wal-Mart. With a baby, however you can get a lot of products CHEAP! So I do the same thing on those occasions (which I try to make few and far between), I go right when it opens!

JeanneBean wrote:Now that I am a homemaker, I go right when it opens. It is usually a pleasant experience. You don't have the feeling that you are being pushed along in a wave of sweaty people. That's my recommendation.

For a working-stiff like me, I have no choice but to battle the "sweaty" masses on Saturday. It's not that bad.

I have a little "game" I play with myself every time I'm standing in line at a Costco- I pick out the person who I think will most likely regret one of their purchases. Usually, it's the person with the man size jar of maraschino cherries - you couldn't make enough sundaes in ten summers or cherry blink cookies in ten Christmases to use all those cherries!**

** Or am I missing something? What the hell else are maraschino cherries used for? Garnish for Manhattans? That's a lot of Manhattans.

Ice cream sundaes at his fledgling restaurant?

aschie30 wrote:I pick out the person who I think will most likely regret one of their purchases. Usually, it's the person with the man size jar of maraschino cherries

I was making a cake where chopped cherries were part of it. I hadn't read the recipe in a while and couldn't remember specifics. I bought those very cherries at Costco. When I got home I read the recipe to find I needed candied cherries. I took those back to Costco on my very next visit.

If I had really kept the cherries, then I would have regretted every day how much real estate it took up in the refrigerator.

Regards,

gleam wrote:Ice cream sundaes at his fledgling restaurant?

Could be. Although I can't imagine that even a diner would go through that many ice cream sundaes, especially if, like most places, they halve the cherry before putting it on top.

aschie30 wrote:

JeanneBean wrote:Now that I am a homemaker, I go right when it opens. It is usually a pleasant experience. You don't have the feeling that you are being pushed along in a wave of sweaty people. That's my recommendation.

For a working-stiff like me, I have no choice but to battle the "sweaty" masses on Saturday. It's not that bad.

I have a little "game" I play with myself every time I'm standing in line at a Costco- I pick out the person who I think will most likely regret one of their purchases. Usually, it's the person with the man size jar of maraschino cherries - you couldn't make enough sundaes in ten summers or cherry blink cookies in ten Christmases to use all those cherries!**

** Or am I missing something? What the hell else are maraschino cherries used for? Garnish for Manhattans? That's a lot of Manhattans.

My uncle makes "cherry bounce" at Christmastime each year. I think you use those cherries.

Themaraschino cherries (not the juice) are a necessary ingredient in the Wisconsin Style Brandy Manhattan with 3 cherries. We go through about 2 of those man sized jars a year. I also went through one for our church's luau which featured some fabulous Mai Tais.

I guess it just depends on your audience. In my case, it's drinking Lutherans. (Hmm, what would be a good name for a band...)

The maraschino cherries (not the juice) are a necessary ingredient in the Wisconsin Style Brandy Manhattan with 3 cherries. We go through about 2 of those man sized jars a year. I also went through one for our church's luau which featured some fabulous Mai Tais.

I guess it just depends on your audience. In my case, it's drinking Lutherans. (Hmm, that would be a good name for a band...)

aschie30 wrote:For a working-stiff like me, I have no choice but to battle the "sweaty" masses on Saturday. It's not that bad.

i, as a working stiff, like to go during lunch hours.

honestly, if someone can tell me where else to get cheap digital prints/eyeglass lenses/motor oil/2 dozen roses/movie tix/2 huge jugs of ochango (omygawd this makes the best sangria ever) juice/DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RINGS, i'd gladly burn my card. but that's not gonna happen is it?

So, Tony, are congratulations in order?

Regards,

TonyC wrote:DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RINGS

I'm told that Costco has good quality. After all, they do have to state their color/clarity/carat - so you can compare prices for similar items.

The big problem with Costco engagement rings is that you have to buy a box of a dozen even though you only need one.

Bill/SFNM

Bill/SFNM wrote:The big problem with Costco engagement rings is that you have to buy a box of a dozen even though you only need one.

Bill/SFNM

Bill,

In this day and age, who needs only one?



A

Bill/SFNM wrote:The big problem with Costco engagement rings is that you have to buy a box of a dozen even though you only need one.

Bill/SFNM

Bill,

That's because they first started selling the rings in their Utah stores.

Costco is two stores.

The store of fresh produce, bulk quantities of boring essentials (I don't want a choice of toilet paper, I want to be issued my allotment by the Ministry of Plumbing and not have to exercise choice) and new DVDs at sale prices. I like that Costco.

Then there's Super-Mega-House of Trans-Fats. If it's food and it comes in a box, there are 87 fat grams in each one and you're buying 160 of them, so don't even go in that part of the store. Don't take the samples. Pretend it doesn't exist.

kafein wrote:Themaraschino cherries (not the juice) are a necessary ingredient in the Wisconsin Style Brandy Manhattan with 3 cherries. We go through about 2 of those man sized jars a year. I also went through one for our church's luau which featured some fabulous Mai Tais.

I guess it just depends on your audience. In my case, it's drinking Lutherans. (Hmm, what would be a good name for a band...)

That's one group of happy Lutherans. More power to them.