12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

Unless you have David Letterman giving you direction.

I don't have any problem with this list. Most of these things should be a given at restaurants from moderately priced neighborhood places on up.

Service should be as unobtrusive and professional as possible.

I care about my server, but I don't really need to know his/her name and I certainly don't want them touching me.

Seat me when I arrive assuming my table is ready and I have a reservation.

And definitely leave all plates on the table until everyone is done eating.

When the types of things that are identified on this list are pulled off effortlessly it definitely doesn't make for a stuffy dining experience. It's a thing of beauty to watch truly professional service at work.

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

One of my top restaurant pet peeves. My husband and I usually commandeer pouring duty from the waiter as soon as possible because inevitably one of us is drinking more quickly than the other, but that doesn't mean the fast drinker wants to down 3/4 of the bottle. I hate when a well meaning waiter tops off my glass after every two sips.

(Also, I am not sure why this only applies to red wine? Because of the potential stain factor?)

What a blowhard. The truely universal laws of hospitality are mostly common sense to any good server. Most of this list would be subjective in real life, and good servers also know that different types of guests require different types of service.

Cathy2 wrote:

Pie Lady wrote:

happy_stomach wrote:Similar to #46 but I think important enough to be its own item--I hope there's something in 51-100 about not making an assumption about who will pay the bill.

Amen! This is so sexist and I see so many female servers doing it!

What is the best way for the server to handle it? Plop it into the middle of the table?

I usually see it in the center at the outside edge or at the empty seat, if it is on the outside, or stood up in those little folders in the center. I think once some asshole handed it directly to my date!

PitaChip wrote:

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

...
(Also, I am not sure why this only applies to red wine? Because of the potential stain factor?)

Not to mention coffee. I don't drink it black on the rare occasions I drink coffee at all. I get things to a nice tawny color with enough sugar, take two sips, and apparently there's some carafe quota going on, because if they don't empty it into my cup, they'll lose a bonus or something.

Now I gotta adjust the cream and sugar all over again.

Please -- ask me if I want it warmed up, don't just dump more joe in the mug.

Pie Lady wrote:

happy_stomach wrote:Similar to #46 but I think important enough to be its own item--I hope there's something in 51-100 about not making an assumption about who will pay the bill.

I usually see it in the center at the outside edge or at the empty seat, if it is on the outside, or stood up in those little folders in the center. I think once some asshole handed it directly to my date!

That's only happened to you once?!

What I usually see is the check just put down in front of my male dining companion.

One other way to deal with this issue that I think can work is that the server will come to the table with the check, make eye contact with both of us and then wait for one of us to make a gesture or reach for the check to indicate that that person will be paying. However, there is some potential for a jump ball situation if both of us are equally eager to pay for the meal and then the server gets stuck in the middle.

Personally, I'm always delighted to see my check set down in front of someone else -- table next to me, the people at the bar, they all can have my check.

aschie30 wrote:Personally, I'm always delighted to see my check set down in front of someone else -- table next to me, the people at the bar, they all can have my check.

Lol, I agree.

This thread reminded me of an incident that should fit right in. There is a Chinese food establishment with several locations in the greater Chicagoland area. One of their outposts is on route 43 just north of route 64 - I don't really recall the name of the place, but for some reason, I think it might rhyme with "rock and roll express." So, one day, I had to drop off some Fedex packages one door away, and I noticed that this place was next door. I have one of these places near the house, and I am a big fan of their chow fun. So, I walk into this location, thinking I'd grab something, maybe chow fun, maybe a lunch special - whatever. I walk in, there's nobody there, just the lady manning the counter. (She is pre-occupied at the moment with a light activity, she knows I'm reading the menu, and continues the activity.) She says, "just let me know when you're ready." While continuing her light activity. I peruse the menu further wondering if she is REALLY going to sit there and continue this particular activity. I've decided already that there is NO WAY I'm gonna order anything, but now, I'm simply wondering if she is seriously doing this activity. "Click!" "Click!" "Click!" it just continues on... Finally, I look straight at her, and she asks if I'm ready. I look directly into her eyes and start laughing in an "are you kidding me?" style, and walk out the door. I can only assume she just went back to cutting her fingernails.

whoop! one more for this Bruce guy to add to the list. better make it 101.

PitaChip wrote:

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

One of my top restaurant pet peeves. My husband and I usually commandeer pouring duty from the waiter as soon as possible because inevitably one of us is drinking more quickly than the other, but that doesn't mean the fast drinker wants to down 3/4 of the bottle. I hate when a well meaning waiter tops off my glass after every two sips.

(Also, I am not sure why this only applies to red wine? Because of the potential stain factor?)

on a related note, I always snatch bottle-fermented beer from the waiters/bartenders before they can dump the yeasty dredge into my glass.

PitaChip wrote:

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

One of my top restaurant pet peeves. My husband and I usually commandeer pouring duty from the waiter as soon as possible because inevitably one of us is drinking more quickly than the other, but that doesn't mean the fast drinker wants to down 3/4 of the bottle. I hate when a well meaning waiter tops off my glass after every two sips.

(Also, I am not sure why this only applies to red wine? Because of the potential stain factor?)

I am assuming because you have placed the white wine in an ice bucket (after asking the guest if that is indeed what they want), and since it will be wet and need wiping, you will be pouring it for them, no questions asked.

tem wrote:on a related note, I always snatch bottle-fermented beer from the waiters/bartenders before they can dump the yeasty dredge into my glass.

true that

PitaChip wrote:

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

One of my top restaurant pet peeves. My husband and I usually commandeer pouring duty from the waiter as soon as possible because inevitably one of us is drinking more quickly than the other, but that doesn't mean the fast drinker wants to down 3/4 of the bottle. I hate when a well meaning waiter tops off my glass after every two sips.

(Also, I am not sure why this only applies to red wine? Because of the potential stain factor?)

This also applies to pouring Mai Tais at Chinn's. The servers are always refilling people's cups without asking. My 90 year-old mother does not need or want two Mai Tais just so they can empty the pitcher and push another. We always try to stop them, but sometimes they're too fast for us.

Another one that keeps happening to me is that I'll be drinking a Seven-Up and the server comes over and fills up my half empty glass with water!

Did a quick scroll-through of this thread and didn't see this rebuttal posted yet:

http://www.servernotservant.com/2009/11/05/64-suggestions-for-restaurant-customers/

whiskeybent wrote:Did a quick scroll-through of this thread and didn't see this rebuttal posted yet:

http://www.servernotservant.com/2009/11/05/64-suggestions-for-restaurant-customers/

Don't fall asleep while reading a list of 64 'suggestions' designed to indemnify your server for life, no matter what they do.

=R=

Don’t be dramatic and make a big deal out of nothing. Don’t let a small mistake or miscue derail your entire evening. Some things happen that your server has no control over. Be forgiving and help get things back on track. Work with the staff. It’s not life and death.

Patronizing much?

Somehow I doubt that when this guy comes to my place of business, he "works with" the people there on the kind of level he seems to expect.

Darren72 wrote:

happy_stomach wrote:

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”

I'd add, "Do not call a woman "sweetheart." Grrr...

I'll add "Do not refer to the oldest woman is "young lady". Despite what you think, it isn't that funny.

I remembered this thread at dinner tonight. I don't want to ding the restaurant or our server because our experience was otherwise very, very good, but for anyone working in the service industry, unless you are talking to eight-year-olds, please don't address grown women customers as "girls." I am feeling particularly youthful these days, and my mom is aging well, but c'mon. Not funny or appropriate.

Missing or maybe I overlooked it: Don't make substitute decisions with the kitchen without consulting with the customer first.

This has happened twice:
- When the menu advises quail and you have run out, don't assume chicken is a reasonable substitute.
- If you successfully changed my mind to order the Stroganoff instead of my original order, don't assume I still want my original order when the kitchen never produced the Stroganoff. I might have wanted something else.

Regards,

Cathy2 wrote:If you successfully changed my mind to order the Stroganoff instead of my original order, don't assume I still want my original order when the kitchen never produced the Stroganoff. I might have wanted something else.

Oh Cathy! You reminded me of that dinner! Speaking of which, wasn't there an invite for us to return? And wasn't that about 2 years ago?!

Here's one I didn't notice anywhere. We went to a nice sitdown restaurant, and while waiting for our food, I observed a waitress, (not ours), bring a drinks order to another table on a big round tray. After placing the drinks on the table, she proceeded to store the tray between her legs while she got out her pencil and order book to take their food order!!

Had she done that to me, I would have said no thanks and just reported her to the manager before we walked out. I am somewhat hesitant to cause trouble for people, so I made up my mind that if I ran into the manager on my way out, I would say something. I didn't see him, so it went unreported, but now that I think about it, I could have called later, so he could at least have given the whole staff a lecture. Actually, excuse me while I make a phone call.....

I don't know why she wouldn't use it as a surface to write on.

Unless by large you mean a giant bussers tray (in which case I would find it entertaining to watch), I have seen lots of waiters hold a drink tray under their arm while they take the order. Not sure why it is a big deal unless they plan to use it as your plate for dinner. Obviously not proper form for a fancy, white tablecloth place.

-Will

101. Ask customers if they're ready to order while they're still looking at the menu.