Secret Sally Allbright moments

On another thread, somebody mentioned cream cheese omelettes, which reminded me that my ordinarily deferential husband, when out for breakfast, has been known to request an off-menu cream-cheese-and-spinach omelette with hot sauce on the side. We both require a slice of lemon with our tomato juice, and often ask for salad dressing on the side (we do try to be gracious and tip well...) Myself, I drink only regular coffee - because when I worked in a cafe I'd make myself a foamy half-drip-coffee/skim-hot-chocolate, and I'm not about to be the kind of person who orders those, no matter how much I really want one.

Eating with my mother this weekend, who outdoes Sally Allbright in that her sides must have sides on the side, and who starts her meal by meticulously cutting every portion in half and having the remainder boxed, made me realize that, though we may observe the extremes through gritted teeth, we all probably have little quirks when eating out...

Not so much me, but my husband. This is how his line of questioning usually goes at a restaurant..

-Ice tea. Brewed or 'from a gun'? If anything but brewed, just water, thank you.

-Prime rib. Can you cook it well? I mean, really really well? As in no pink at all? No? I'll have something else.

-Burgers. Can you cook it rare? As in it's still mooing? No? I'll have something else. This has, in light of recent events where no one makes rare burgers, been amended to 'as rare as the chef/cook can make it'. After he's tried to 'still mooing' line.

-French Fries. Skin on? Seasonings? If either (or God forbid, both!), he'll say forlornly, "Nothing on the side, then" unless I warn him ahead of time (ie, by seeing someone else's plate) and urge him to see if they'll substitute.

-Salad dressing. Bleu cheese..is it 'real'? Is it an extra charge? If not on the former and if so on the latter, no salad dressing at all.

And let's not even get into the grocery store examination of salsas (no jalapenos..and if you don't describe 'pepper' fully on your list of ingredients, fuggetaboutit), hot dogs (no poultry on list of ingredients). tartar sauce, any mayo other than Hellman's, etc etc.

He has no allergies, just a guy who knows what he likes. Sigh.

jersette wrote:tartar sauce, any mayo other than Hellman's, etc etc.

He has no allergies, just a guy who knows what he likes. Sigh.

LOL!!!
See my signature below. Your hubby and I sound like we should share our lists of sammich places that use real mayo.

Although, I know the other good foodservice brands that will suffice. I can usually ask "what brand of mayo is used here?" and decide from there if it's going to be good or not. some of the brands even have different mayo formulas, so you have to ask what "label" it is i.e., "is it red label or gold label?"

And yes, it's THAT important. That sweet, cheap mayo just makes me gag. I really don't even like talking about it. When used in tartar sauce for FISH?? SUGARY FRIED FISH?? Who in the WORLD could eat that?? Don't even get me started on tuna salad with miracle whip. It's like eating a tuna milkshake.

Other resto quirks for me:
Gravy is ALWAYS on the side, sorry. "Sauces" are ok, but unless I know for a fact that someone actually takes pride in their gravy offered ( like the Depot Diner) - all "gravy" goes on the side, please.

Turkey. Another thing you shouldn't get me started on. If I order turkey on a sammich, and get something that is not turkey, we have a major problem. People look at me like I have two heads when I ask if the turkey is real, or processed loaf. It is astounding at how many times they will tell me it's real, and then bring out the turkey loaf. It's as if people have no idea what turkey is these days. Frightening actually.

I believe that if you use frozen mussels, it should be disclosed on the menu. Just get it out of the way up front so you don't have to lie about it when asked. Anyone who has ever eaten frozen mussels, and has a palate, KNOWS FOREVER what frozen mussels are like. There is no way to mask the fact that they have been frozen. Just tell me the truth, and I won't order them, I'll order something else. What's the big deal?

I also have an issue with salt on the fries. My typical request: "If you're too busy to give me my fries with no salt on them, I'll HAPPILY take anything instead of the fries. It's not a big deal at all, and I understand if you're too busy." - The irony of that request is that a lot of times, I'll get the substitution of cole slaw made with that cheap, sugary mayo! - lol.

OOH - another one - Chinese food or pizza:
"Canned or fresh mushrooms?" - HUGE difference to me. Sorry. Canned mushrooms are ok, say, in Russia, but here? Come ON!!!

Also w/ chinese food:
"What vegetables are in your 'vegetable' fried rice?"
The usual answer: "Peas, carrots, and onions"
My usual reponse: "How much would it cost to add real vegetables to your 'vegetable' fried rice - like broccoli, mushrooms, pea pods?"
I just don't think it should be allowed for Chinese resto's to call frozen peas and carrots "vegetables" nowadays. You KNOW they are laughing at you.

Steak in a taqueria: "Griddle fried, or Char grilled?

Yes, I am opinionated. I just hate paying outrageous amounts for what I could make MUCH better at home, or get elsewhere for a better price.
[/rant]

HI,

When my nieces were tiny, their orders at Taco Bell made them candidates for Sally's children:

Niece 1: Hard shell. Meat-only. No cheese. No lettuce.

Niece 2: Soft shell. Cheese only. No meat. No lettuce.

I would usually have to repeat these orders a few times to get them straight.

On one occasion, Niece 2's cheese was melted, which was a very thoughtful courtesy. She went into hysterics. The manager came out to personally take back the offending melted cheese taco and replaced it with her preferred choice. I didn't even call him, she just made that much of a public fit.

If just a single piece of lettuce happened to touch either taco, then it was deemed contaminated.

We had similar problems at Seven Treasures in Chinatown. They would get chicken soup with extra noodles. I would ask them not to sprinkle on green onions. If the offending green onions came, then I would have to fish all of them out. The girls would carefully inspect the bowl with their x-ray eyes and point out a few bits I missed.

They now have some great laughs at how they put me through the ringer over their ordering issues.

Regards,

Mhays wrote: Myself, I drink only regular coffee - because when I worked in a cafe I'd make myself a foamy half-drip-coffee/skim-hot-chocolate, and I'm not about to be the kind of person who orders those, no matter how much I really want one.

Great topic Mhays! I just just thinking about When Harry Met Sally this weekend while at Starbucks.

I've gone back to drinking brewed coffee there because I don't want to sound like Sally when ordering. If I were to order a coffee bar drink, my request would be:

Decaf, Nonfat Triple Grande, Two pump Mocha

or

Decaf, Triple Grande, Two pump Sugar Free Hazelnut, Nonfat latte, dry

I just can't bring myself to string these words together while ordering.

Kim

Cathy2 wrote:HI,
When my nieces were tiny, their orders at Taco Bell made them candidates for Sally's children:

Regards,

I had a cousin who was like that ... all cottage cheese had to be Kroger's. All cookies had to be the name brand, etc. My aunt and worked full time and could afford all of the pickiness. My parents, well, we had a large family and you ate what was put in front of you, unless you liked to stare at it for hours. Canned peas taste a lot better at 4:30 pm than they do at 9:00 pm after sitting there for 4.5 hours.

My mother's solution to the problem was to pour the usual brand into an old Kroger's cottahe cheese container. The cousin's response: "aunt, thsi is SO MUCH better than what you tried to serve me the last time." Meanwhile, my brothers and sisters were almost spraying cottage cheese out of our noses trying to keep from laughing at him.

ha...all my friends call me Sally because of my proclivity for on the side. Unless I'm at a restaurant where I can guarantee that they know how to dress a salad -- I do it. Nothing worse for me than too little or too much dressing.

I like lemons in my club soda and not limes and that confuses a lot of waitstaff (personally i think it's the similarity between lemon and "limon" prononciation wise but who knows?).

i don't get too picky about mayonnaise or canned anything -- although I do prefer things that are housemade over canned. Especially gravy. Stanley's has great fried chicken but their gravy is just weird. Hold that sucker, please.

I am dying to know, however, how a man could order a hamburger rare and prime rib so well done that it's not pink. Now THAT's a special case.

I do think that as i get older I'm getting more inclined to let things be what they are instead of imposing my own desires on things.

I am dying to know, however, how a man could order a hamburger rare and prime rib so well done that it's not pink. Now THAT's a special case.

I've puzzled over it for twenty plus years, believe me.

And here's two colliding special orders in my house. For me, fruit pie must be warm or, at the very least, room temperature. For him, ice cold. Cream, fruit, no matter. So, all pies are refrigerated and I microwave my slice to my specs.

Hmm....fruit pies for me are nice warm. Especially if you want ice cream. Custard, creme and the like are good cold.

Oh man...now I really want a slice of blueberry pie with ice cream on it.

Warmed, of course.