Poor service...how do you handle?

I hope this is a right place to post this. I was wondering how some of you handle poor service in a restaurant.

While getting carryout over the weekend, we were treated to an unexplained and unapologetic long wait at a restaurant. Not only was a staff member rude to me so was the manager on duty. I normally would just shrug it off but the fact that their rudeness was so blatant irritates me.

I was going to send a letter to the general manager of the restaurant and a letter to their corporate office (it's a local chain, several locations in Chicagoland). It probably won't get read but it will make me feel better!

How have you handled poor service?

TriGirl,

At a restaurant, a long wait is sometimes understandable, but I don't think rudeness is ever okay. You might be surprised how much impact a letter can have -- just make sure you send it to the right person (maybe check their site and get the address for customer service).

Hammond

HI,

I would not shrug off writing the letter to the corporate offices. It's their business and their reputation on the line, so it behooves them to at least investigate. If they are professional, at a minimum you will receive a letter of acknowledgement and perhaps an apology.

Sometimes they know they have a problem with a franchisee/location. Your letter may support their effort to turn things around.

Customer service, though not restaurant related, I walked into an auto parts store looking like a drowned rat. I'd been at a picnic and got tossed into the lake with all my clothes on. However, I was near this shop which had delivered the wrong part. The manager looked me over and began to offer me a bad time. I started reading out loud to him their 'mission statement' and 'pledge to our customers' signage. He began to realize I was quite capable of raising holy hell with upper management. He walked me outside to the car and out of earshot of other customers. He apologized for his initial behavior and gave me a credit for the difference; which is all I wanted. We parted company very likely greatly relieved he had just saved his own job.

My approach is a bit different:

1) At the point of service, I try to diffuse the situation. I do not want the server attacking me in the parking lot or anything like that.

2) Generally, I will not return to the business. Who needs the grief?

3) If the place is one where I know that this is uncommon, I write a single letter that 1) clearly states the facts as I see them LEAVING OUT EMOTION AND ATTITUDE and 2) letting the business know what they need to retain my business.

You would be surprised the response that I get into #3. I once had a California waitress write me an apology letter (a chain restaurant). Almost put me into tears although my complaint was legitimate.

Phone calls and e-mails are generally ignored. One exception is Starbucks who responded quickly to my complain of a cup disintegrating in my hands (but I did not ask for $2M).

jlawrence wrote:I do not want the server attacking me in the parking lot or anything like that.

(Maybe I left out a wee detail: it was an after factory grill on the truck, which had already been installed but wasn't quite what we ordered. We needed to be out in the parking lot to check the veracity of my complaint.)

Please be advised I wouldn't take an angry anyone to a private space so they could get violent without witnesses or an opportunity to seek help. It's just asking for trouble.

Cathy2 wrote:

jlawrence wrote:I do not want the server attacking me in the parking lot or anything like that.

(Maybe I left out a wee detail: it was an after factory grill on the truck, which had already been installed but wasn't quite what we ordered. We needed to be out in the parking lot to check the veracity of my complaint.)

Please be advised I wouldn't take an angry anyone to a private space so they could get violent without witnesses or an opportunity to seek help. It's just asking for trouble.

Ah. There's the C2 we know and love

Cathy2 -

I was thinking more about those hot-head waiter types who go ballistic and follow you out to the parking lot ...

jlawrence01 wrote:Cathy2 -

I was thinking more about those hot-head waiter types who go ballistic and follow you out to the parking lot ...

Geez, I'm glad I eat mostly at home or at little ethnic holes-in-the-wall where the 'waiter' is the husband or wife or child of the cook...

A

In three years of 200+ nights of business travel from 1992-1995, you run into all types.

I ran into some great restaurant owners (the Irish lady in Orange County )who every Monday night would have my dinner waiting for me when I came into watch Monday Night Football.

On the other hand, I was tossed out of a restaurant in Marina Del Rey because I objected to a woman bringing her lap dog to the counter and the beast helped itself to a bite of my food.

Personally, I prefer to eat at home. Twice the quality at half the price.

I agree with what others have said about writing a letter. You really would be surprised how seriously a lot of places take letters of complaint.

My mom went to a restaurant once and had an awful experience. When she wrote to them about it, they wrote or called back (can't remember) and sent her a gift certificate. I think she ended up selling it to someone else as she wasn't impressed enough by their food to go back, but at least they responded to her complaints and offered a consolation.

As someone else mentioned, though, the key is making the letter sound professional and try to leave out unnecessary emotions, etc. And the more specific you can be, the better.

Janet C. wrote:
My mom went to a restaurant once and had an awful experience. When she wrote to them about it, they wrote or called back (can't remember) and sent her a gift certificate. I think she ended up selling it to someone else as she wasn't impressed enough by their food to go back, but at least they responded to her complaints and offered a consolation.

Janet C,

In the 80s, a business friend and I had dinner at a fajitas place in Oak Brook; I forget the name. Later that night, we were both very sick (which may nor may not have been the restaurant's fault, but that's who we blamed). I wrote, they offered a free meal, but after the unpleasant episode, I never took them up on it.

Seems the way restaurants treat complaints about food is to say, "Well, have some MORE!" Which is a little odd, but understandable.

Hammond

In the interest of sharing experiences:

I took my brother out for a birthday dinner a couple years ago to the restaurant of his choice: a popular north-side BBQ restaurant.

We were seated on-time, in the dining room, and had an enjoyable meal for the first 75% of the time. Late in our meal, a couple smoking cigarettes was seated next to us. We had no idea we were in a smoking section, and there were no ashtrays on the table (the waiter brought theirs). Since we were more than halfway done, we finished up, paid up, and left.

On the way out I decided to politely complain. I calmly said to the hostess that we didn't know we were going to be seated in a smoking area, and we would have rather known that beforehand so we could have waited. Her reply shocked me: "If you want non-smoking, you have to specify". My politeness was waning and I said, "No. If you're going to seat someone in a smoking section, you have to ask the customer first." She looked at me like I was crazy.

Anyhow, I wrote a letter, which received no response, and I won't go back under my own free will.

My M.O. when complaining (which is a rare event) is to either calmly talk to the manager or write a calm letter. I will usually want to speak to someone right away if there is a serious problem.

I do not ask for a freebie unless I feel I am clearly entitled to one. I also believe that phone calls and emails are often ignored.

Good managers want to know when they have dissatisfied customers.

Best,
EC

Eatchicago,

I worked in food service long ago, and I feel I have good rapport with servers, chefs and others, but I have noticed a disturbing trend that is reflected in your server's "shocked" response to your seemingly legitimate concern.

I teach a few courses online for the Art Institutes (hey, it pays tuition for my daughter), and every now and again I get hit with a writing course and a few students will write an essay about customers. What is shocking is that 100% of the time -- that is, ALL the time -- the customers in these essays are portrayed as complete cretins, demanding and infantile scum who seem to be there primarily to make life miserable for those who work in the restaurant. Never, NEVER has a student of mine (many of whom are in food service, training to be chefs, or waiting tables to get through college) spoken highly of customers.

Of course, this is not a scientific cross-section, but I have come to the sad conclusion that for many of the people who serve us, we are pains in the arse to be tolerated but not taken seriously.

Of course, there are no doubt many exceptions to this rule, and we've all had great service from great people, but I have arrived at the point where I feel that many of those who serve us in restaurants would just as soon we ordered, ate, tipped and got the hell out of there without comment.

This is not a slam to the industry we all love and spend so much time thinking and writing about; it's a disturbing reality I've noticed in maybe a dozen papers, written by food service employees, over the past year.

If you work in food service, I intend no offense; I'm just reporting what I've seen in the words of food service employees who have no reason to dress up their opinions for me.

David "The cops don't need you and man they expect the same" Hammond

David Hammond wrote:I teach a few courses online for the Art Institutes (hey, it pays tuition for my daughter), and every now and again I get hit with a writing course and a few students will write an essay about customers. What is shocking is that 100% of the time - that is, ALL the time - the customers in these essays are portrayed as complete cretins, demanding and infantile scum who seem to be there primarily to make life miserable for those who work in the restaurant. Never, NEVER has a student of mine (many of whom are in food service, training to be chefs, or waiting tables to get through college) spoken highly of customers.

Through an acquaintance (by no means a friend) who works retail, I learned of and occasionally read Customers Suck, a site dedicated to the rantings and ventings of those to whom the word "service" in the phrase "service industry" is indeed just a word. Sadly, there are a lot of them out there. The site was an entertaining novelty at first, but their strident whining wore me out faster than I could've expected. Still, enjoy! ;)

Bob S. wrote:Through an acquaintance (by no means a friend) who works retail, I learned of and occasionally read Customers Suck, a site dedicated to the rantings and ventings of those to whom the word "service" in the phrase "service industry" is indeed just a word. Sadly, there are a lot of them out there. The site was an entertaining novelty at first, but their strident whining wore me out faster than I could've expected. Still, enjoy!

Bob S,

"Strident whining."

That's exactly how I would describe many of the essays I've suffered through on the topic of how much we customers suck. Based on my experience, and the site you mentioned, either people in the service industry hate their jobs more than most of us, or their jobs are actually more challenging than most of ours, or maybe both.

Hammond

Hi,

Bob, I like the way you distance yourself from the person who referred you to this site.

Negativism is very contagious behavior. Once it begins, it becomes almost a can-you-top-this with the stories spiralling further down. To reverse the trend is pretty tough and any attempts are met with one being consider not very realistic. Negative behavior becomes a cultural norm in some social circles.

Years ago in my other life in the USSR, I loved the word 'Kashmar,' which in Russian means nightmare. It was a real conversation starter for just about any occasion. I could be standing in line for a Carnival ride, just for fun I'd remark, "Kashmar." Most everyone around me would agree, "Da, kashmar" in very earnest tones. I could get the same response whether it was standing in line to pay for bread; looking at toys; waiting for a traffic light to cross the street; riding the metro; even looking at a bridal party or a bunch of school kids playing. It could be the happiest day of your life and somehow you'd agree life was a nightmare. It always amazed me nobody ever gave me the "What's wrong with you" look and walk away.

People are funny.

Part-- although I'm sure not all-- of the thing with the essays may be that some people think negativity is amusing. It's kind of weird to me that "snarkiness" seems to be a valued trait in writing today. I think it's usually kind of crummy and a cheap substitute for wit. Negativity is interesting, potentially, but there has to be some depth to it.

I say this not having read the essays you're subjected to, of course.

bibi rose wrote:Part-- although I'm sure not all-- of the thing with the essays may be that some people think negativity is amusing. It's kind of weird to me that "snarkiness" seems to be a valued trait in writing today. I think it's usually kind of crummy and a cheap substitute for wit. Negativity is interesting, potentially, but there has to be some depth to it.

I say this not having read the essays you're subjected to, of course.

Bibi Rose,

You're right. Nastiness is mistaken for cleverness -- you see this in particular on the sitcoms my youngest daughter watches; put-downs are mistaken for witticism, sarcasm for insight. Kids these days!

Hammond

David Hammond wrote:What is shocking is that 100% of the time - that is, ALL the time - the customers in these essays are portrayed as complete cretins, demanding and infantile scum who seem to be there primarily to make life miserable for those who work in the restaurant. Never, NEVER has a student of mine (many of whom are in food service, training to be chefs, or waiting tables to get through college) spoken highly of customers...

David:

Sadly, very sadly, I must agree... I have noticed that attitude too and I think it is part of a broader change in the collective or general temperament. A growing lack of patience, lack of sympathy, appalling ignorance of real manners... polite behaviour being limited to formulae that are regurgitated as required by the boss, not said with any sense of personal connexion... Not that everyone is so but such behaviour has become more prevalent and accepted and even regarded as cool in some circles...

Sadder still, I have found that this attitude is not just found amongst waiters and such, servers to the servees, but also increasingly among students, who are sometimes imbued with a sense of centrality and importance that renders teachers and professors in their eyes mere servants who have for unknown reasons been granted a measure of power. 'Such insolence! How dare they say I can't plagiarise!'

... And I remember when a loaf of bread cost 10 cents...



A

Antonius wrote:Not that everyone is so but such behaviour has become more prevalent and accepted and even regarded as cool in some circles...

A

Such behavior has always been cool in some circles.

To quote Brando in ther Wild Ones

"What are you rebelling against?"
"What have you got?

That overwhelming focus on self is on display in today's online Zorn column. By a substantial margin people are upset that local TV chose to cover the LaSalle Bank fire vs. Monday Night Football or some reality show (isn't a 5-alarm fire in the middle of the business district reality?).

When I was younger (so it was a while ago ) and I was trying to improve my ability to deal with others while I was angry I started asking myself "How would John Steed react?" as he was, to me, the model of the perfect gentleman (albeit one that only existed in the fantasyland of TV).

Kman wrote:When I was younger (so it was a while ago ) and I was trying to improve my ability to deal with others while I was angry I started asking myself "How would John Steed react?" as he was, to me, the model of the perfect gentleman (albeit one that only existed in the fantasyland of TV).

Ah, but wouldn't we all be a little happier and better behaved if we could spend lots of time with the lovely and terribly cool Emma Peel?

A

Antonius wrote:Ah, but wouldn't we all be a little happier and better behaved if we could spend lots of time with the lovely and terribly cool Emma Peel?

A

Certainly from this hetero male's perspective there was no cooler partner than Steed's 3rd, Mrs. Emma Peel as played by Diana Rigg. But let's not lose perspective that Mr. Steed's 2nd partner was also a woman of both beauty and presence but that the early Avengers cinematography and costuming (no leather jumpsuits or zippered sweaters) didn't accord Honor Blackmon the same venue.

Joanna Lumley anyone?

Kman wrote:Certainly from this hetero male's perspective there was no cooler partner than Steed's 3rd, Mrs. Emma Peel as played by Diana Rigg. But let's not lose perspective that Mr. Steed's 2nd partner was also a woman of both beauty and presence but that the early Avengers cinematography and costuming (no leather jumpsuits or zippered sweaters) didn't accord Honor Blackmon the same venue.

Yes, but she more than made up for it as Pussy Galore.

stevez wrote:Yes, but she more than made up for it as Pussy Galore.

I do not believe Diana Rigg appeared in or would have a appeared in that role. The one Bond film in which she did act was, I believe, On her Majesty's Secret Service, which is not one in which the character 'Ms. Galore' was even included, no?

If I am mistaken, by all means correct me; if you are...



Antonius

Kman wrote:Certainly from this hetero male's perspective there was no cooler partner than Steed's 3rd, Mrs. Emma Peel as played by Diana Rigg. But let's not lose perspective that Mr. Steed's 2nd partner was also a woman of both beauty and presence but that the early Avengers cinematography and costuming (no leather jumpsuits or zippered sweaters) didn't accord Honor Blackmon the same venue.

Kman:

It was my understanding that Diana Rigg was the second of Mr. Mcnee's partners in the series: 1) Cathy Gale; 2) Ms. Rigg; 3) Tara King. Was there someone before Ms. Gale???

I thought Tara King not wholly bereft of her own charms and talents but she suffered from the insuperable short-coming of simply not being Diana Rigg. Such was, I suspect, the position of many of us who grew up in the days of the British Invasion...

A

Antonius wrote:

stevez wrote:Yes, but she more than made up for it as Pussy Galore.

I do not believe Diana Rigg appeared in or would have a appeared in that role.

I believe stevez was referring to Honor Blackman for her role in Goldfinger. Here's a link for the movie (and its cast) at IMDB. I may not know the characters that well, but I do know IMDB.

fastfoodsnob wrote:

Antonius wrote:

stevez wrote:Yes, but she more than made up for it as Pussy Galore.

I do not believe Diana Rigg appeared in or would have appeared in that role.

I believe stevez was referring to Honor Blackman for her role in Goldfinger. Here's a link for the movie (and its cast) at IMDB. I may not know the characters that well, but I do know IMDB.

Dan:

Thanks... and sorry, SteveZ, for my careless reading, but the pronominal reference was not absolutely clear ... Now the next question is whether Honor Blackmon had anything to do with the Avengers*... And who was Joanna Lumley again?... And what does any of this have to do with service in restaurants?

A

P.S. Before Cathy2 has to step in to remind me of the existence of search functions on the internet, I just checked concerning Mcnee's avenging partners and found the following website about the show the Avengers, which seems with regard to the particular matter at hand to confirm what my increasingly faulty meory was telling me. Ah, another day without senile dementia...

But then it did take me a while to remember to Google the Avengers...

* Edited by the author for gross examples of stupidity:
Now, first you Google something, then you actually read the stuff on the site you find...

So Cathy Gale was played by Honor Blackmon... And I see Joanne Lumley was in the 1970's New Avengers... But then Diana Rigg was the second partner of Mcnee, I think, and I'm not wrong about quite as much as I thought I might be...

Hereafter I will stick to discussions of cheese and sausages..

Antonius wrote:

stevez wrote:Yes, but she more than made up for it as Pussy Galore.

I do not believe Diana Rigg appeared in or would have a appeared in that role. The one Bond film in which she did act was, I believe, On her Majesty's Secret Service, which is not one in which the character 'Ms. Galore' was even included, no?

If I am mistaken, by all means correct me; if you are...



Antonius

I was referring to Honor Blackman.
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