New Poster Here

I'm new here at LTH. I'll only stay on a few conditions.

First that there are no oldtimers rambling on about how much Arun, Trotter, Tramonto and all those other losers who wore a toque before the Achatz-Carlson era. Nothing galls me more than reading some dullard rambling endlessly about how Trotter created dishes the way they were meant to be cooked or some nonsense like that.

Second thing is no one can reply to me with those stupid faces or other icons. I hate those things. If I wasn't politically correct, I'd say those things were gay. And while we're at it, how about if the folks monitoring these boards can filter out all stupid responses? I'm a pretty smart guy with an important job and I shouldn't have to deal with idiots.

Finally, no Rachel Ray imitators. The woman is beyond pathetic. The last thing I need when I'm trying to have an intelligent food discussion is for some halfwit to respond with "yummo" or "de-lish". This tiresome hasbeen wore out her welcome 20 years ago and the idiots who admire this dope reflect poorly on intelligent foodies everywhere.

I much smarter than most of the people here, but I'll do my best not to talk down to you nice people. I assure everyone here that you'll all enjoy my insights into dining and food in general. I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

KSeecs wrote::D

you forgot

I laughed pretty hard when I read the original post.

gourmondo wrote:
I much smarter than most of the people here

Human make fire. Cook meat. Make tool. You much smarter than me Neanderthal.

I much smarter too!

KSeecs wrote::D

Beat me to it! Dee-lish! (OT - has anybody else seen the commercials for Rachel Ray's new dog food?)

Santander wrote:

gourmondo wrote:
I much smarter than most of the people here

Human make fire. Cook meat. Make tool. You much smarter than me Neanderthal.

Make tool, is tool...could go a few ways.

Too bad this thread won't last, just for humor's sake alone.

I figure a disgruntled poster under new name? Hope that helped get out your frustration, cause it certainly helped put a smile on my face. Just like this

Mhays wrote:

KSeecs wrote::D

Beat me to it! Dee-lish! (OT - has anybody else seen the commercials for Rachel Ray's new dog food?)

I did see that commercial!

I was a little shocked she did not in any way see how this could possibly detract from whatever credibility she had as a "tv food personality".

Oh wellz

gourmondo, you forgot to ask for the admin login/password and the right to revoke everyone's right to create posts but yours.

On another note, how deelish is EVOO? Yummo!

Yeah, but how were the portions?

Wait, what?

KSeecs wrote:I was a little shocked she did not in any way see how this could possibly detract from whatever credibility she had as a "tv food personality".

That struck me as well - but the name is what capped it. Put me in mind of Dr. Seuss.

I love EVOO! I heard that it's healthy and junk and has a good flavor! Use it in everything because it's healthier! Who cares if it overpowers the dish and is not indigenous to the particular cuisine! It's healthy!

Trotter would never do that.

gourmondo wrote:I much smarter than most of the people here, but I'll do my best not to talk down to you nice people. I assure everyone here that you'll all enjoy my insights into dining and food in general. I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

I think you arrived at the wrong site by accident, gourmondo... for self-important posturing, try Yelp. I'm sure your genius won't go unappreciated. You'll be an elite member with a stratospheric cool rating in no time.

Have fun!

I'm just hoping he has a strong opinion about BBQ.

For someone so intelligent, your sentence about Arun is unintelligible.

I'm thinking cilantro is behind this. Anyone else want to take a bet as to the alter ego of our 'villain'?

This seriously made my week!

The people I work with probably think I'm insane over here laughing out loud by myself but still REALLY good stuff!! :P

When you've been snarked you've officially made it, right?

Gourmondo's post was great!

So who was it?

gourmondo wrote:I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

LMAO!

Don't hold your breath. I know I won't.

=R=

gourmondo wrote:I'm new here at LTH. I'll only stay on a few conditions.

First that there are no oldtimers rambling on about how much Arun, Trotter, Tramonto and all those other losers who wore a toque before the Achatz-Carlson era. Nothing galls me more than reading some dullard rambling endlessly about how Trotter created dishes the way they were meant to be cooked or some nonsense like that.

Second thing is no one can reply to me with those stupid faces or other icons. I hate those things. If I wasn't politically correct, I'd say those things were gay. And while we're at it, how about if the folks monitoring these boards can filter out all stupid responses? I'm a pretty smart guy with an important job and I shouldn't have to deal with idiots.

Finally, no Rachel Ray imitators. The woman is beyond pathetic. The last thing I need when I'm trying to have an intelligent food discussion is for some halfwit to respond with "yummo" or "de-lish". This tiresome hasbeen wore out her welcome 20 years ago and the idiots who admire this dope reflect poorly on intelligent foodies everywhere.

I much smarter than most of the people here, but I'll do my best not to talk down to you nice people. I assure everyone here that you'll all enjoy my insights into dining and food in general. I'll start posting as soon as my three conditions are met.

This guy is edgy as hell!

Someone would have to check the IP address and see if it compares to anyone else's on here.....

And whose to say it's a guy? Don't mess with a lady and her food.

My first thought is it has to be a brilliant lampoon by one of the moderators.

They've been known to do brilliant lampoons before. Remember that Onstar thing?

Did you honestly think the original post was brilliant?

Darren72 wrote:Did you honestly think the original post was brilliant?

That was one of the two possibilities that presented themselves.

Speaking on behalf of all LTH Forum posters, we'll do our best to adhere to your requests. I, for one, have championed Trotter and Rachel Ray far too often and have become rather disgusted with myself for doing so.

Well, I think he's a guy because he calls himself a guy in the post. Although, perhaps he's deranged, or a pathological liar, which would make him potentially even more fun to have around than he already is.

Either way I say: welcome mystery satirist! We are your bretheren. If we are not all quite as smart or as important as you, we are at least all above average, and ready to rise if you'll only snark us into shape.

Please begin steering us towards the light with posts on BBQ, thin crust and Chicago-style pizzas, the concept of authenticity and how to define and identify it in Asian restaurants and their patrons, and the morality of foie gras.

Your new and devoted acolyte...

Hey, maybe it's the Yelp CEO trying to drag down the LTH forum now and take some heat off of Yelp! This was the funniest thing I've read all day! Thanks for a great end to a crappy day!