Just Bring Me Some Good Stuff

Just Bring Me Some Good Stuff

Lately, I’ve taken to going to restaurants, sitting down, glancing at the menu, and then asking the server, “Why don’t you just bring me some good stuff. Whatever you think is good tonight. Your call.”

Servers seem to like this, and chefs have told me that that customers who let them choose their best dishes are a “chef’s dream.” They use that exact language. Regularly.

Recently, I tried this approach at Ciao Amore and Rise. In both cases, I was knocked out by the result. I was not served the most expensive items on the menu...just the stuff the chef thought would make me happy. Both times, it did.

Are you turning into one of those "cook for me" blowhards, or do you at least engage the staff first?

stevez wrote:Are you turning into one of those "cook for me" blowhards, or do you at least engage the staff first?

I'll take your question seriously.

I knew there'd be the Plotnicki comparison, of course, but, of course, I talk to the server, let him or her know that we're militantly omnivorous, completely open to putting ourselves in their hands, eager to try new stuff but ready to sample standards, open to off-menu items but definitely not looking just for that, simply surrendering to what is probably their superior insight into what, that evening, is an example of the best they got. I paraphrase, of course.

In both cases, the servers/chef have responded with incredible alacrity and enthusiasm.

I find it helpful to offer support all along the way, commenting on what we liked about dishes, maybe suggesting things we thought were unusual, but every step of the way, expressing gratitude for the effort, which the staff seems ready to make, gladly.

David Hammond wrote:I'll take your question seriously.

It was meant seriously, because to my mind such a request can be the height of pertensiousness, depending on how it is posed; unless you are either a repeat customer who is familiar with the chef or the restaurant or someone who has at least researched the restaurant's philosophy, strengths and weaknesses or has in some other way earned the respect of the staff.

You put your hands and tummies in your chef's hands every time you dine out. You've already made that bargain by sitting down. Should you be polite, but of course. Should you ask for the best, but of course. Asking the chef to feed you what s/he seems fit can't be wrong. Just don't be an a**hole.

-ramon

Ramon wrote: Asking the chef to feed you what s/he seems fit can't be wrong. Just don't be an a**hole.-ramon

My suggestion was predicated on the assumption that most of the good people who are part of this community are not, generally, assholes.

As a chef, I can tell you that I love the oppty to choose what I consider my finest at that moment.

At one restaurant I really love, my custom was to order a bunch of different courses and essentially create my own tasting menu. After several visits, the chefs told me that in the future -- if I wanted -- they'd be happy to create a tasting menu for me. The next time I went there I asked them to do just that, and they actually seemed excited about it. I figured that they'd only offered to be polite and that such requests were a total p.i.t.a. But I was completely wrong. They were thrilled to do it and I've not ordered from their menu ever since. The meals I've had there have been among my favorites of all time. Still, even at a restaurant I visit regularly, I don't just automatically expect it. I always politely ask if they are able to do it. If not, I'll be fine with that, too.

=R=

Admittedly, it's a different kind of restaurant, but I don't think I've ever seen a menu at GNR Deta's Café. I just ask her to serve whatever she has on hand, or wants to serve. I've never been disappointed. But, as noted above, I'm something of a regular. YMMV.

ronnie_suburban wrote: I figured that they'd only offered to be polite and that such requests were a total p.i.t.a. But I was completely wrong.

I think it's good to be careful about making any atypical requests of anyone, but as jazzfood suggests above, I think the request that the chef (or even the server) make the call on the courses is generally perceived as an opportunity to shine. When making this request, the diner is trusting in the professionalism of staff, and it’s a show of respect. It seems a chef would probably prefer to have this kind of control and that this request would in most cases not be perceived as an additional task or burden.

When this trust and respect is offered to restaurant professionals, I've found that it actually increases the candor of, for instance, the server. Last weekend when I ordered this way, the server told me, very straightforwardly, that the desserts at his place were not very good and that I shouldn't bother to order any. I appreciated his honesty and I followed his advice, even though I was kind of in the mood for a dessert.

Such service merits not only sincere thanks but a gratuity appropriate to the extra professional service offered.

I realize this discussion is tainted by other discussions in other threads about diners who throw their weight around and treat chefs and servers like slavish simpletons who are for some reason strategically withholding the best food for only the most discriminating diners. That is, of course, not what I'm suggesting at all. What I am saying is that one can respectfully offer the chef or server the opportunity to do what they do best, which is to use their professional judgment, based on resources available that evening, to serve a dinner that that they can be sure has a high likelihood of pleasing a guest. As I said in the original post, this request has so far been met with what seems genuine enthusiasm, and the reason for that enthusiasm does not seem hard to understand.

I think NR706’s comment about Deta’s is interesting, and clearly he has a relationship where this kind of request can be comfortably made at that kind of place. I wouldn’t suggest making this request at any and all restaurants. For instance, I’ve been to Moon's Sandwich Shop a number of times in the past few months, but I’d never walk in there and put my fate in the hands of Henry James – even though we know and like each other – not because I don’t trust his judgment, but because at that place this request would probably seem absurd (though maybe not).

David Hammond wrote:Just Bring Me Some Good Stuff

Lately, I’ve taken to going to restaurants, sitting down, glancing at the menu, and then asking the server, “Why don’t you just bring me some good stuff. Whatever you think is good tonight. Your call.”

Servers seem to like this, and chefs have told me that that customers who let them choose their best dishes are a “chef’s dream.” They use that exact language. Regularly.

Mr Hammond,
I do this all the time. My normal way is, "please pick something for me, I'm not too big on dairy." About 10% of the time, however, the server will get huffy about it, like MAD. I always preface by saying something to the effect of "honestly, I really eat everything, and I'm so hungry right now, I know I'll like anything. It doesn't have to be the most expensive thing, or the cheapest thing, just something you can vouch for being good." Wife 1.0 will also reinforce the fact that I happily eat everything to the server (while pointing to my tummy,) if needed. Of the 10% that get angry about it, 100% are female. I have no idea why. I was a server in several diff restaurants, I always throw a please/thank you with EVERY interaction with all of the service staff, buspersons included. I'm not a waiver downer, and if I need something, it's always "when you get a chance..." as they walk by in a discreet manner, and tipping usually starts at 20% in my book. My table is usually the one where the server is hanging out laughing with. But sometimes, that whole "chance to shine" thing backfires on me. Most of the time, stellar results.

I'm finding this intriguing, and it sure sounds like the idea has merit. One hitch I'm thinking of has to do with money. I'd think you pretty much have to be prepared for the bill to add up to anything, or not broach the topic with the server at all. For instance, at a place of some culinary ambition, I can imagine asking the server to give the chef "carte blanche" to please me, which then happens, and then I'm presented with a bill of $400 or something for me alone, at which point I feel ill. But on the other hand, you can't possibly begin the meal by saying, "Ask the chef to do whatever he wants for me, as long as it doesn't cost more than $75." So I'm just wondering if this consideration has ever been a hangup for people who order this way, and how they get around it (other than not to care about money).

I only use this ordering strategy if I email the restaurant first, telling them of my arrival, otherwise I may not get what I deserve.

seebee wrote:

David Hammond wrote:Just Bring Me Some Good Stuff

Lately, I’ve taken to going to restaurants, sitting down, glancing at the menu, and then asking the server, “Why don’t you just bring me some good stuff. Whatever you think is good tonight. Your call.”

Servers seem to like this, and chefs have told me that that customers who let them choose their best dishes are a “chef’s dream.” They use that exact language. Regularly.

Mr Hammond,
I do this all the time. My normal way is, "please pick something for me, I'm not too big on dairy." About 10% of the time, however, the server will get huffy about it, like MAD. I always preface by saying something to the effect of "honestly, I really eat everything, and I'm so hungry right now, I know I'll like anything. It doesn't have to be the most expensive thing, or the cheapest thing, just something you can vouch for being good." Wife 1.0 will also reinforce the fact that I happily eat everything to the server (while pointing to my tummy,) if needed. Of the 10% that get angry about it, 100% are female. I have no idea why. I was a server in several diff restaurants, I always throw a please/thank you with EVERY interaction with all of the service staff, buspersons included. I'm not a waiver downer, and if I need something, it's always "when you get a chance..." as they walk by in a discreet manner, and tipping usually starts at 20% in my book. My table is usually the one where the server is hanging out laughing with. But sometimes, that whole "chance to shine" thing backfires on me. Most of the time, stellar results.

I'm glad you're underscoring the point that this request -- which is not the usual way patrons order in a restaurant -- should be supported by behavior that is unfailingly polite and considerate, which is fitting because this request is an expression of trust and respect.

Incidentally, I also appreciate you and others in this thread who have responded to the initial post with similar trust and respect.

riddlemay wrote:I'm finding this intriguing, and it sure sounds like the idea has merit. One hitch I'm thinking of has to do with money. I'd think you pretty much have to be prepared for the bill to add up to anything, or not broach the topic with the server at all. For instance, at a place of some culinary ambition, I can imagine asking the server to give the chef "carte blanche" to please me, which then happens, and then I'm presented with a bill of $400 or something for me alone, at which point I feel ill. But on the other hand, you can't possibly begin the meal by saying, "Ask the chef to do whatever he wants for me, as long as it doesn't cost more than $75." So I'm just wondering if this consideration has ever been a hangup for people who order this way, and how they get around it (other than not to care about money).

This was my initial thought too, but I think one way to get around this could be to say something like, "I was thinking maybe an app or two, an entree, and a dessert...what do you think, will that be enough, or too much?" If the waiter is game, I'm sure they'd guide you along, and you'd know approximately how much the dinner is going to run you.

This is definitely a fun way to dine and I've done it on several occasions (yes, yes, always being nice about it). I've rarely, if ever, just gotten the most expensive stuff on the menu...just the tastiest.

This is my preferred way of ordering if I'm at a sushi bar that I trust. Just sit at the bar and let the chef feed you. In this situation, more than others, it is advisable (and perfectly legitimate) to set a price ceiling.

jesteinf wrote:This is definitely a fun way to dine and I've done it on several occasions (yes, yes, always being nice about it). I've rarely, if ever, just gotten the most expensive stuff on the menu...just the tastiest.

I, too, did not seem to get the most expensive stuff on the menu. Sorry to strum this note again, but I believe that when you show trust and respect you get it in return. Based on my admittedly limited sample, servers have not seemed to take advantage of me when I've made The Request.

I've always loved this idea but have only actually done it once, at a birthday dinner at the Ritz, and only then because Chef Stegner was touring the room and suggested it herself.
The only other time was way back when Pasteur, in its first location, had just taken off and we were new to the neighborhood and the food and came in on a weekend evening to find the place just completely off-the-charts nuts. Tran was hosting and waiting tables and near to losing his mind and we were dithering a bit and he just said, "I tell you what. I'm going to give you this, this, and this. All very good. You'll like. Anything you dont' like, that's ok." And he ran off and wonderful food just started to arrive.

In other situations I would be held back by some of the issues mentioned up thread---not the being an asshole issue, but various uncertainties about how the kitchen works.

For example:
* "Chef" may not actually be in the house. The kichen may be being run by various line cooks etc., all who know how to to the menu as chef wants it done, but may not be prepared to just make something up, or want the responsibility.
* I may well trust the chef, but I have much less faith in servers. My experience is that even in restaurants I like a lot, many servers' tastes are not my own and they will often heartily recommend things I don't want any part of, or dislike slightly more exotic things that I definitely want to try. Or, playing the odds, they will recommend what they know is very popular, which, again, often does not coincide wtih what I'm most interested in.
* I can imagine either server or chef feeling sort of set up to fail---not deliberately, but just because it's so easy to accidentally run into the one thing that the customer hates, or is allergic to, or whatever, and they just forgot to mention it. (I'm thinking back even to basic preferences/aversions like the thread on whether or not mayo should be considered either standard or surprising on a burger.) Chef does something she/he considers really special and different and customer is taken aback: "Well, I never thought anyone would do that!".

Obviously if you're already a regular, none of this is an issue. I suppose you can't go wrong if you just ask straight out if it would be a problem just to ask the kitchen to do whatever they're really feeling best about this evening. Get an answer up front and go from there.

Off the bat, I'm thinking Mixteco is a place I'd really like to try this.

I guess my feeling is, if you're in a place where you suspect they might try to take advantage of this... why are you there at all?

I don't see why this is inherently pretentious. To complain about what they gave you might be, however.

Particularly with places I have never been to before I would hope the server/chef would have a better idea than me as to what is good (or at least popular) on the menu.

On a recent business trip to Barcelona, our last dinner the waiter suggested we order entrees, and he'd bring a selection of apps to match. We agreed (but I'm glad I wasn't the one to put the dinner on the expense report: always eat with sales or marketing, that's my rule).

Everything was amazing, and I have no doubt we got some of the best stuff in the house. I ate a couple things I probably wouldn't have, such as morcilla (blood sausage), and it was a great time.

The only down side with this approach is that (a) I was getting pretty full before the entree arrived, and (b) the entree was pretty dull compared to the bright flavors of the apps.

Mike G wrote:I guess my feeling is, if you're in a place where you suspect they might try to take advantage of this... why are you there at all?

Good point. But I was sort of thinking not so much that the place would be out to take advantage of me, as that I would nevertheless be unprepared for how much the tab would come to. That the place would say, "But you told us you wanted us to take over. We [completely without disingenuousness] believed you wanted this."

So my "trust issues" would be not about distrust of the restaurant so much, as about uncertainty as to my own preparedness for the outcome. But then, I may have more trust issues than most. I do think it sounds like a fabulous idea. I may be just one of those people who values the social contract implicit in the printed menu.

It occurs to me that last night I sort of got my feet wet doing this, albeit in a half-assed, lily-livered way. At Erwin, having the calf's liver and bacon (a very good dish), I asked our waitress to "bring me whatever glass of red wine would be the best with this." I appreciated that she didn't ask me any questions I couldn't answer, like "well, do you like a heartier wine, or a something a little more [fill in blank]," and instead stepped up to the plate to use her own judgment, which was exactly what I was asking her to do. (I'm one of those "I know nothing about wine, but my taste buds do know how to detect when I'm having a really good one" types.)

I wasn't thinking about this thread during any of this, but afterward I realized that I was sort of applying the concept. My trust in her was total, and she didn't fail me.

riddlemay wrote:It occurs to me that last night I sort of got my feet wet doing this, albeit in a half-assed, lily-livered way. At Erwin, having the calf's liver and bacon (a very good dish), I asked our waitress to "bring me whatever glass of red wine would be the best with this." I appreciated that she didn't ask me any questions I couldn't answer, like "well, do you like a heartier wine, or a something a little more [fill in blank]," and instead stepped up to the plate to use her own judgment, which was exactly what I was asking her to do. (I'm one of those "I know nothing about wine, but my taste buds do know how to detect when I'm having a really good one" types.)

I wasn't thinking about this thread during any of this, but afterward I realized that I was sort of applying the concept. My trust in her was total, and she didn't fail me.

My wife does this fairly frequently, she likes wine but is in the very early stages of learning about it. Frequently she is just overwhelmed with a wine list, and when asked if she would like a glass of wine with the entree, she replies much like you did, usually with good results. Me? I am pretty good a pairing beer with my food when looking at a menu, or I'll just drink water after my cocktail. Works for me.

SSDD

After reading a few books about the restaurant business I would be worried that, unless a regular, you would be likey just to be served the special or whatever needs to move that day. I just have heard that servers are often asked to "push" something, in an effort to prevent spoilage or get rid of something that didn't sell well the night before. It may be good, but the motivation to serve it might not be where you want it to be.

It sounds like most of you who have tried this have gotten very good results. It must just be my cynical side showing.

Again, it's a matter of your degree of trust in a restaurant. And if you feel like it's the sort of place where they might try that, you not only shouldn't give them the chance by writing them the blank check to do so, but I'd question why you're eating there at all.

riddlemay wrote:

Mike G wrote:I guess my feeling is, if you're in a place where you suspect they might try to take advantage of this... why are you there at all?

Good point. But I was sort of thinking not so much that the place would be out to take advantage of me, as that I would nevertheless be unprepared for how much the tab would come to. That the place would say, "But you told us you wanted us to take over. We [completely without disingenuousness] believed you wanted this."

So my "trust issues" would be not about distrust of the restaurant so much, as about uncertainty as to my own preparedness for the outcome. But then, I may have more trust issues than most. I do think it sounds like a fabulous idea. I may be just one of those people who values the social contract implicit in the printed menu.

I think there's a genuine communication issue here. The server (or whoever you talk to) has to figure out your intentions, too, and neither make you spend more than you're comfortable with nor assume your budget is very limited-- both of which may upset or insult people. I like it for the discussion to get somewhat explicit about cost. I still recall one lunch in Rome where my companion asked the waiter to use his judgment with the wine "but make sure it was good." They both spoke Italian and there seemed to be a certain amount of non-verbal communication going on, including maybe an assement of what we were wearing. The wine was delicious and I still have no idea what it cost.

At a few places where I've been a local, I've had some success by sitting in the bar beforehand, having a glass of wine or a cocktail and talking with a member of the house about possibilities for the meal. You get a feeling for whether there is anything special available or whether your request would just be a pain for them that night.