First the S&P downgrade, now another sign of the apocalypse

Scene: A Sbarro in Denver, CO

Me: I'll have a slice of plain cheese pizza.

Counter Guy: Ranch dipping sauce with that?

OK - that make me laugh out loud

This is something that has puzzled me in recent years. When and why did ranch dressing become our country's universal condiment? As a native Buffalonian I am appalled when chicken wings are served with ranch instead of blue cheese dressing. I have to admit, though, the pizza and ranch dressing combo is worse. Once I ordered a takeout pizza that came with a little tub of ranch dressing. I thought it had fallen into the box by accident until a friend explained that many people like to dip their crusts.

Here's a giant bottle (1.1 quarts) of ranch dressing I saw at Treasure Island (not Costco or some warehouse market). Seriously, what do people do with this stuff?

Sorry Rene (and other Buffalonians), I do put ranch dressing on my wings but only because I'm not a blue cheese person. That's the only thing I use it on though. Ranch dressing to dip pizza crusts in? And I thought the artificial garlic dip that comes with Papa John's pizza was nasty. Marinara sauce, people. Marinara sauce.

Peter,

I don't know what people do with all that ranch... but who makes your favorite buffalo-style wings in the city? I know you did a small roundup a year or two ago, but was curious if you've had any more notable wings.

although here's one defense of ranch: the places that offer ranch with your pizza are places that have truly terrible crust. I honestly think dipping a sbarro crust in ranch WOULD make that stuff better. it would at least give it a small amount of flavor.

mrbarolo wrote:Scene: A Sbarro in Denver, CO

Me: I'll have a slice of plain cheese pizza.

Counter Guy: Ranch dipping sauce with that?

My son went to the University of Denver and said that everyone puts ranch dressing on their pizza I remember his freshman year he called me and told me that people in Denver have no taste in pizza. He was surprised and disgusted!

I dont see whats wrong with ranch, particularly that bottle. The label clearly indicates its made from wholesome nutritious ingredients just picked from the farm!

Hidden Valley ranch dressing only shows up for me on 2 occasions:

1. mixed 1/3 with 2/3 sour cream to form a dip for crunchy potato chips.

2. as dipping sauce for fried mozzarella sticks.

it blows out all other contenders for those 2 items.

Mozzarella sticks were a hard sell from my best friend of 20+ years..but soon I saw the righteousness in his ways. Marinara sauce is now strictly verboten like brown M&M's were to Van Halen.

The Ranch dressing=pizza thing is downstate too. My 17 yr old Peoria niece and all of her friends think this is the way you eat pizza.

abe_froeman wrote:Sorry Rene (and other Buffalonians), I do put ranch dressing on my wings but only because I'm not a blue cheese person.

That's perfectly acceptable. I understand that not everyone likes blue cheese. What bothers me is when places automatically serve ranch or charge extra for blue cheese. If they're called Buffalo wings, they should be served with blue cheese dressing (and celery sticks). It's getting to the point where many people think ranch dressing is supposed to accompany Buffalo wings.

gleam wrote:... but who makes your favorite buffalo-style wings in the city? I know you did a small roundup a year or two ago, but was curious if you've had any more notable wings.

I like wings well enough but don't seek them out too often. I think Toons makes the best I've had in Chicago. I like that they only make them one way—the right way. I had some last week and they're as good as ever. Birds Nest isn't bad, if you can manage to get them sauced the way you want. I tried Lincoln Station and thought their wings were poor, almost as if they'd been fried hours earlier. Not in Chicago but Franks for the Memories in Mundelein does a pretty good job. They also have char-grilled Sahlen's hot dogs!

LikestoEatout wrote:The Ranch dressing=pizza thing is downstate too. My 17 yr old Peoria niece and all of her friends think this is the way you eat pizza.

I thought Peorians put Tiger Sauce on their pizza.

Here's an interesting Slate article on ranch dressing's rise to condiment dominance.

LikestoEatout wrote:The Ranch dressing=pizza thing is downstate too. My 17 yr old Peoria niece and all of her friends think this is the way you eat pizza.

I've spent a lot of time downstate and the only place I've seen where people put dressing on pizza is Monical's, and that's more of a French dressing. But I've never been to Peoria. What pizza places does your niece go to?

Darren72 wrote:

LikestoEatout wrote:The Ranch dressing=pizza thing is downstate too. My 17 yr old Peoria niece and all of her friends think this is the way you eat pizza.

I've spent a lot of time downstate and the only place I've seen where people put dressing on pizza is Monical's, and that's more of a French dressing. But I've never been to Peoria. What pizza places does your niece go to?

Avanti's or Pizza Inn.

LikestoEatout wrote:

Darren72 wrote:

LikestoEatout wrote:The Ranch dressing=pizza thing is downstate too. My 17 yr old Peoria niece and all of her friends think this is the way you eat pizza.

I've spent a lot of time downstate and the only place I've seen where people put dressing on pizza is Monical's, and that's more of a French dressing. But I've never been to Peoria. What pizza places does your niece go to?

Avanti's or Pizza Inn.

Pizza Inn serves a Buffalo Chicken Pizza: "A wing lover’s pizza – Cool Ranch dressing topped with seasoned chicken tossed in our zesty buffalo sauce, and cheddar and mozzarella cheese."

Not to nit-pik, but it's a buffalo chicken pizza; that's why the ranch is there.

another sign of the apocalypse:


Being offered DESSERT when having BREAKFAST at Denny's!
"did you save room for dessert?"

Rene G wrote:Pizza Inn serves a Buffalo Chicken Pizza: "A wing lover’s pizza – Cool Ranch dressing topped with seasoned chicken tossed in our zesty buffalo sauce, and cheddar and mozzarella cheese."

Nope. The kids eat plain cheese and dip it in Ranch.

Darren72 wrote:Not to nit-pik, but it's a buffalo chicken pizza; that's why the ranch is there.

LikestoEatout wrote:

Rene G wrote:Pizza Inn serves a Buffalo Chicken Pizza: "A wing lover’s pizza – Cool Ranch dressing topped with seasoned chicken tossed in our zesty buffalo sauce, and cheddar and mozzarella cheese."

Nope. The kids eat plain cheese and dip it in Ranch.

I was simply offering it as another sign of the apocalypse. Pizza—even a Buffalo chicken pizza—should not contain ranch dressing. If you're making a culinary abomination like a Buffalo chicken pizza (which I find fascinating, by the way) at least do it right and use some blue cheese. Even Rachael Ray understands this elementary concept (see her recipe for Wingless Buffalo Chicken Pizza). She recommends serving it with Celery Succotash Salad.

I wonder how long it will be until you can order a pizza "dipped" like an Italian beef. They'll take the entire pizza (before slicing) and immerse it in a vat of ranch dressing.

I've been reading way too much about ranch dressing. Here's a fun piece by Robb Walsh, The Pizza and Ranch Dressing Rebellion.

Great article on ranch dressing Rene G! Somehow I don't think the niece and friends would "get" it.

Put this one in the time capsule and congratulate me later -- Thai fried chicken sauce, the ultra-sweet, slightly spicy and tangy syrup flecked with red pepper flakes is quietly showing up in crappy rural feedbags on mainstreets in unexpected corners of the South and Midwest, and not on Thai fried chicken. A sure sign the end is near. Places such as Cheesecake Factory and PF Chang probably have something to do with it.

"And ye shall hear of Thai sweet chili sauce abuse and rumors of its abuse . . ."

Hi,

A friend ordered Buffalo wings at Il Forno's Pizza in Highland Park. The guy reflexively inquired, "Do you want Ranch dressing?" She affirmed, then he disappeared.

When he returned later, I inquired if he had blue cheese dressing also. He did. It was not a top flight blue cheese dressing, though it was available. We forgot to inquire about the celery sticks.

It may be there is a blue cheese dressing lurking where Ranch is offered, too.

Regards,

I grew up in Michigan, and many of the people I grew up with will put ranch dressing on just about anything. They love that stuff. I don't understand it, but I'm definitely the outlier on this one amongst people of my general age and background. Ranch dressing seems to have become even more popular than ketchup and mustard as a general purpose condiment.

I think they serve it with wings because not everyone likes the taste of blue cheese. I like ranch dressing as salad dressing. I especially like the kind you make at home with buttermilk.
i can see it as a dipping sauce for vegetables. I would not be caught dead putting it on pizza.

JeffB wrote:Put this one in the time capsule and congratulate me later -- Thai fried chicken sauce, the ultra-sweet, slightly spicy and tangy syrup flecked with red pepper flakes is quietly showing up in crappy rural feedbags on mainstreets in unexpected corners of the South and Midwest, and not on Thai fried chicken. A sure sign the end is near. Places such as Cheesecake Factory and PF Chang probably have something to do with it.

Interesting observation. I'm sooo out of touch with current condiment trends. You are absolutely correct that sweet Thai chili sauce is making impressive gains in the world of dipping sauces. A quick perusal of some online menus suggests that ranch dressing is commonly served with deep-fried onions, potatoes, cheese curds and chicken wings while Thai chili sauce is often the preferred dip for deep-fried shrimp, calamari and egg rolls as well as many wraps. Sweet chili sauce is everywhere.

I was about to make a smartass comment about some future genius mixing ranch dressing and Thai chili sauce to create the ultimate American condiment: maximum fat, sugar, salt and MSG all in one. A quick Google search shows we are almost there. Consider this description of Buffalo calamari (from Denver, Colorado) — Crispy fried calamari drizzled with our Buffalo sauce or Thai sweet-chili sauce and ranch [emphasis mine]. Topped with bleu cheese crumbles. It seems not terribly uncommon to find wings or shrimp tossed with sweet Thai chili sauce and served with a side of ranch but that Colorado calamari is the only instance I found where the two are commingled in the kitchen.

I'm afraid to Google pizza ranch thai chili.

I have to say, my problem with this whole thread is the concept of getting a dipping sauce for pizza. Huh? Breadsticks -- I get that. But Pizza???? Perhaps I'm just too set in my ways but it seems completely inappropriate to me. If pizza needs a dipping sauce -- then it's not good enough to eat.

I don't understand the people who put ketchup on their eggs either, although I don't mind the hot sauce folks. I could see putting hot sauce on pizza although I wouldn't be inclined to do it.

The indiscriminate use of ranch dressing just boggles my mind though.

Men's Health shames the Worst Food In America as Outback's Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing. Nearly 3,000 calories of glop. http://www.menshealth.com/20worst/worstfood.html
>>Brent

My mom used to make the dressing when the seasonings came in a packet. I don't recall if it was the buttermilk or the plain milk version, though I think it was probably buttermilk (my parents and grandparents used to drink it, so we did regularly have it in the house). I liked it, but this stuff we get now called "Ranch" is not a lot like what I remember. This might have been in the early or mid 70's?

I love this thread. I strongly dislike ranch dressing and abhor the fact that some folks seem to need to smother whatever they're eating in it in order to choke down their food.

For this reason, I do not offer it at my restaurant. We get quite a few requests for it, to which I simply respond that we don't have any. If the person presses me or questions why I don't carry it, I ask them to tell me what it's made of. I want to know...and no one has ever really given me an answer, beyond "mayo, sour cream, and the seasoning packet".

What's the seasoning packet made of? What is the component that gives it that distinctly "cool" "Ranchy" flavor? I do not know. I believe it's not a flavor that occurs naturally in nature.

What's the seasoning packet made of? What is the component that gives it that distinctly "cool" "Ranchy" flavor? I do not know. I believe it's not a flavor that occurs naturally in nature.

Harsh, dude. Actually, the flavor components of the pre-packed ranch seasoning are fairly innocent and straightforward: garlic powder, onion powder, dried parsley flakes, dried dill, and S&P.

Did someone call for the end of times?



As embarrassed as I am to admit it, it was pretty damn good with McNuggets. Eight hours at O'Hare will do funny things to a person.

Khaopaat wrote:Did someone call for the end of times?

As embarrassed as I am to admit it, it was pretty damn good with McNuggets. Eight hours at O'Hare will do funny things to a person.

It's okay, Mr. Maki will, a few times a year, have McNuggets because he loves the hot mustard sauce you can get with them...I think he mentioned they stopped carrying it...maybe they replaced it with the chili sauce?