First, a comment on Antonius's and my wedding, then a description of a friend's:
A and I had decided to have our wedding near his hometown in NJ rather than here where we had met or in NC where I'm from, since his family is larger and mine is ready to hop on a plane at a moment's notice. Planning from afar was a little difficult, though. We stumbled across a lovely location (a restaurant in an Olmsted designed park and building on a mountaintop with a view of NYC), discovered that the food was very good, and made the rest of our plans around when they had an available date. So I agree with dicksond's comment: find a place you really like first. A small location will probably be more memorable than a banquet hall where they have 5 other events going on at the same time.
As for the rest of the wedding reception: it was small, and serene (as befits a bride and groom of a (ahem) certain age) -- we had a quartet playing Renaissance music, so our guests could actually talk to each other. (Your son may have different music in mind, though!) The focus was on family and friends, and -- oh, yeah -- FOOD.
*****
Two years ago I went to a friend's wedding in New York. This friend is in theatre, and her wedding was indeed theatrical! The ceremony was outdoors, at the Obelisk in Central Park. Afterwards there was a very casual, picnic-like reception elsewhere in Central Park. We guests were led to the reception site by a Dixieland band and masked stiltwalkers: