They say it's easier to be negative than positive when commenting about something and that couldn't be more true when evaluating the worst overall dining experience of the year, Taos in Roscoe Village. What worries me about such a claim is that I had one of my top dining experiences of the year the night before.
Anyway. You know those places all over rural America that attempt some style of ethnic cuisine but the guy running the show hasn't a clue about that culture’s cuisine? Well, Taos is Chicago's closest version of that concept.
We ordered 2 appetizers, a tomato and corn chowder soup and marinated pork skewers on a bed of beans and rice. The most accurate way to describe the soup would be to open a can of ready-made tomato sauce, add a dollop of creme fraiche and slap on a few strips of tortillas. No joke, if you did reproduce it in this fashion, you'd get a better result simply because the jar tomato sauces, along with loads of added sugar, also add other spices. This was a thick, unseasoned, sugary tomato sauce they called a soup. Totally inedible. As for the pork skewers, again, bland as hell and incredibly leathery meat on a bed of some flavorless white rice and black bean concoction. At $6 and $9 respectively, one of the year's biggest rip offs. It should be noted that Taos has the overly sugary element down pat for every dish we tried.
Entree-wise, not much better (better?). We had the poblano "picadillo", undercooked dry beans with coagulated globs of cheese and other unnotable stuff wrapped in a poblano pepper. A vegetarian nightmare. This disaster warranted about 3 bites before throwing in the towel. Trix had a monstrous burrito with a 90% salad composition and traces of chopped "braised" skirt steak that took us back to a childhood place where we played with our food. Good thing mommy wasn’t there. Another nightmare.
We also ordered a grilled mahi-mahi steak with a coconut mole (tasted like nothing more than coconut milk out of a can) that I barely remember.
Even though I was graciously greeted to dinner at Taos, I felt like I had just been scammed. Violated, really. The owners were obviously more interested in putting their efforts and money into decor and on that front, I still walked away feeling slighted.
If this place makes it a year, I’d be utterly amazed.
P.S – For the record, trix thinks I’m being overly mild.