Bourdain Rant on Ruhlman Blog

http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html

I enjoyed reading this one.

Best,
Michael

I especially liked the Iron Chef competitions he'd like to see:

AND FINALLY: Some IRON CHEF AMERICA match-ups I’d REALLY like to see:

Mario Batali (with one arm tied behind his back--and drunk) vs. Regina Schrambling
Michael Ruhlman, swacked on Ripple, vs. John Mariani-- in a Charcuterie Challenge
Grant Achatz vs. That Guy In Australia Who Ripped off his recipes as his own
Marco Pierre White vs. Gordon Ramsay
Charlie Trotter vs. Martin Picard (Chicken Livers vs. Foie Gras)
Chris Cosentino, Fergus Henderson, Martin Picard vs. Alain Passard, Roxanne Klein and Charlie Trotter (Cooked vs. Raw Challenge)
Martha Stewart vs. Rachael Ray (bare knuckle cage match)
Ducasse vs. Robuchon
“Mikey” from Top Chef vs. Sandra Lee

Great stuff, vintage Bourdain. You should also click the link on the home page to Bourdain's other stuff. If you like him, and I can see how many don't, you'll love this stuff.

Enjoyable reading. Although I think he's got it all wrong about Giada. I don't really believe she can cook anything.

Before reading Bourdain's comments, may I suggest that you finish whatever beverage you had been drinking. It'll cut down on the computer screen cleanup time. Savagely funny stuff.

On the odious Rachel Ray:

"Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”"

Wicked. Brilliant.

mchodera wrote:Before reading Bourdain's comments, may I suggest that you finish whatever beverage you had been drinking. It'll cut down on the computer screen cleanup time. Savagely funny stuff.

On the odious Rachel Ray:

"Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”"

Wicked. Brilliant.

Although, I think suspect, if asked, Julia Child would say about Rachel Ray something similar to what she said when she was asked about the much-maligned Graham Kerr, in his early days:

Paraphrasing (I don't have the exact quote available): He's trying to get people to cook, and that's ok by me.

Best,
Michael

eatchicago wrote:

mchodera wrote:Before reading Bourdain's comments, may I suggest that you finish whatever beverage you had been drinking. It'll cut down on the computer screen cleanup time. Savagely funny stuff.

On the odious Rachel Ray:

"Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”"

Wicked. Brilliant.

Although, I think suspect, if asked, Julia Child would say about Rachel Ray something similar to what she said when she was asked about the much-maligned Graham Kerr, in his early days:

Paraphrasing (I don't have the exact quote available): He's trying to get people to cook, and that's ok by me.

Best,
Michael

Agreed 100%. I've been watching Julia DVDs lately, and she is far-and-away a more educational television chef than Rachel Ray, but they're both fighting the good fight, and I see no point in slamming anyone who encourages others to cook good food (the definition of Good varies, I know, but all in all, they both prepare good stuff, with, again, Julia clearly in the lead).

I like Bourdain (his Nasty Bits was one of my favorite reads of last year), but I feel he is speaking from his self-imposed badass persona which would never allow him to speak well of sunny Ms. Ray who, I'm sure, if she saw Mr. Bourdain at a cocktail party, would say to a friend, "he's scary, isn't he," and then giggle.

Hammond wrote:Agreed 100%. I've been watching Julia DVDs lately, and she is far-and-away a more educational television chef than Rachel Ray, but they're both fighting the good fight, and I see no point in slamming anyone who encourages others to cook good food (the definition of Good varies, I know, but all in all, they both prepare good stuff, with, again, Julia clearly in the lead).

Julia's early shows came out when there was still the expectation of cooking daily. Watching Julia elevated your skills and thinking. Today few expect to cook daily and make lots of excuses often related to time. Rachel Ray coaxes people to do something better than take-out using whatever is on hand and in less than 30 minutes. Both are trying to elevate, though the audience and foodstuffs they are starting with is quite different.

When I first started to know people in the food world. I was pretty surprised there were people who did not appreciate Julia Child. They would say, "But she is not a chef!" as if this explained everything. I took this disdane as simply jealously. Yet my friends who interacted with Julia have all stated how down to earth she was. She didn't hold court and was just as eager to learn from you as we learned from her. That is a personality to emulate.

Regards,

I enjoy Anthony Bourdain's books and tv shows, but I'm not on board with his criticism of Rachel Ray. His comment about "buying onions pre-chopped" makes me think that he has never really watched 30 Minute Meals. I watch the show the show about once a month and I think that her knife skills are pretty good for a person who does not claim to be a chef. In fact, her skill in the kitchen is probably why she can make most of those meals in 30 minutes. A common complaint about her show is that her recipes take longer than 30 minutes when people try them at home. It's obviously because she's a competent cook.

Anthony Bourdain is not the first person I have heard criticize Rachel Ray for using "pre-made" or "convenience" foods. I have personally never seen her use anything more "convenient" than canned tomatoes or Hershey's chocolate syrup. Her recipes are very simple and some of them are ill-conceived -- but they all start with "whole foods." I think that a lot of people confuse her with Sandra Lee of semi-homemade fame. They're two totally different women with different philosophies. I'm watching Sandra Lee right now and all I can think is "Good God - how awful!"

Rachel Ray has a very distinctive personality and I can see why she irritates many people. I personally can only watch her for a little bit at a time -- she exhausts me with all her chattering. She's kind of a goofy girl and totally lacking in gravitas but sometimes I think that the backlash against her is grounded in a dislike of her generally girliness. A lot of your more macho types like Anthony Bourdain can't bear it.

I will say that by and large she does cook mostly from scratch. Although I've seen her use pre-fab french fries.

It is definitely not as bad as Semi-Homemade.

There's a world of difference between Ray's efficiency (much like Bittman's Minimalist, or Franey's one-hour meals, etc.) and Semi-Ho's... genius for combining existing forms of crap into new and much more appalling kinds of crap.

Mike G wrote:There's a world of difference between Ray's efficiency (much like Bittman's Minimalist, or Franey's one-hour meals, etc.) and Semi-Ho's... genius for combining existing forms of crap into new and much more appalling kinds of crap.

For example: Pumpkin Cheesecake Petit-Fours

An excerpt:

Filling:
1 cream cheesecake, thawed
1 pumpkin pie, baked

...

To make the filling, scoop out into separate bowls the pie fillings of the thawed cheesecake and baked pumpkin pie. Be careful not to get any of the crusts. Discard the crusts.

Every time this surgically-enhanced, alcoholic, interior-designer-with-a-spatula opens a box of cake mix, Sara Moulton sheds a tear.

I love Bourdain's irreverence...twisted sense of humor...I just wonder if Paula Deen knows who Divine was in John Waters' films...she would be perfection. I also would like the Wonder Bra concession for the Food Network.

gleam wrote:

Mike G wrote:There's a world of difference between Ray's efficiency (much like Bittman's Minimalist, or Franey's one-hour meals, etc.) and Semi-Ho's... genius for combining existing forms of crap into new and much more appalling kinds of crap.

For example: Pumpkin Cheesecake Petit-Fours

An excerpt:

Filling:
1 cream cheesecake, thawed
1 pumpkin pie, baked

...

To make the filling, scoop out into separate bowls the pie fillings of the thawed cheesecake and baked pumpkin pie. Be careful not to get any of the crusts. Discard the crusts.

Every time this surgically-enhanced, alcoholic, interior-designer-with-a-spatula opens a box of cake mix, Sara Moulton sheds a tear.

holy crud

linked on a similar thread @ CH:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes ... 03,00.html

Poisson à la Bourdain

Ingredients: 3-4 extra-large, whole fish

Directions:

1. Pile fish into barrel.
2. Shoot.



Seriously, what's the point here? Does anyone with half a brain take Sandra Lee seriously? After all this time Bourdain's decided to take her down a notch? Is he going to go after Vanilla Ice next? The Bridges of Madison County?

I know that Bourdain's entire schtick is talking smack about other chefs (well, that and the whole Hemingway manqué thing), but the degree of difficulty is really rather low here. Pretty easy to be "irreverent" toward people no one really reveres (at least no one in the choir). And I couldn't help but notice that the criticism of most of the women seems to include unflattering remarks about physical appearance, a detail oddly untouched in the discussion of the men. Probably just a coincidence, though.

Bill Buford's piece in the New Yorker was a much more informative account of the sad state of the Food Network these days. Of course, Buford's not nearly as smug as Bourdain so he has to fall back on being informative.

cilantro wrote:Seriously, what's the point here?

Completely agree, cilantro. While I smirked a couple of times when I read this, I walked away thinking: Tony went after the FN personalities? Again?

Is there any water left in that well?

I enjoy Bourdain's writing a good deal and he is at his best when he paints fine details with his sardonic oils. But his persistent Scripps-ripping restricts his palette. In fact, it smacks of a premeditated white dinner

I would have rather read a longer piece about how he actually likes the Ace of Cakes guy.

Change it up once in a while Tony. If all you served at Les Halles was coq au vin, do you think anyone would buy your cookbook?

maureencd wrote: . . . but Rachel Ray has a very distinctive personality and I can see why she irritates many people. I personally can only watch her for a little bit at a time -- . . .

I'm reminded of the great, late wit Oscar Levant, who when asked his opinion of Doris Day, replied:

"I can't watch her, since I have diabetes."

Alfonso

Alfonso XIV wrote:
I'm reminded of the great, late wit Oscar Levant, who when asked his opinion of Doris Day, replied:

"I can't watch her, since I have diabetes."

Levant is famous for the quip: “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

Totally off-topic, but makes me laugh out loud whenever I hear it.

Bill/SFNM

Bill/SFNM wrote:Levant is famous for the quip: “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”
Totally off-topic, but makes me laugh out loud whenever I hear it.
Bill/SFNM

And, as if we needed further proof that a)I can go off-topic further than you and b) we live in a post-irony world, there's now an entire movement dedicated to letting people become virgins again. Secondary Virginity.


A warning, though. Do not do a google search for "restoring virginity" unless you have a strong stomach.

Ann Fisher wrote:
And, as if we needed further proof that a)I can go off-topic further than you

You win!

Bill/SFNM