Foods I'm incapable of cooking

The popover thread made me think of this idea, as popovers are one of the foods I am incapable of cooking correctly - mine turn out gloppy, greasy, and fallen. Sort of like the way I constantly misspell the same words; there are some things I try and try, and never seem to do correctly.

Mashed potatoes are another - mine are like spackle. Some of it is inherited, I believe (although I can cook a turkey and my mother can't) I know it's an issue of subtlety (not my strong suit as a cook, by the way) but unless I use a ricer and DON'T TOUCH THEM, they invariably are like glue.

Fortunately, the Uberspouse is perfectly capable of making both these dishes, so I just leave the kitchen when they're called for.

Any of you have culinary nemeses?

A potato galette. This frustrates me to no end. I have tried several recipes, different types of pans, but always it falls apart, is raw in the middle or some other malfunction.
Also, any type of stir fry. I think its an equipment issue, can't get a wok hot enough, everything turns out either undercooked or mushy.

I have great luck with popovers, using similar methods to the earlier post. Its actually one of my "easy to make, always impresses the guests" side dishes, especially when I add a bit of really good parmesan.


LO

I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot cook rice properly to save my life. It's either undercooked or sticking to the bottom of the pan.

HI,

My German Grandmother's mashed potatoes were more a soupy puree. She did everything else so well, but adopted a yucky approach to mashed potatoes.

I don't know how to make coffee. I don't drink it. So it doesn't really matter. Though occasionally when I have guests, I feel pressed into offering some. I print instructions for making it in a French press, then carefully follow the instructions.

There was a time, when I didn't know how to make rice or gracefully cut up a chicken. I overcame that, though it gave my Mom lots of pleasure to comment, "Yep, she knows all the fancy stuff, but she needs me for rice and cutting up chickens."

Gnocchi was a bit of a mystery, though I finally came to grips with that just recently. I found a recipe on Epicurious.com with reasonable instructions. However the discussion of the recipe by other users was what really gave me the extra knowledge I needed:

Gnocchi with Roasted Tomatoes wrote:The two problems other reviewers have pointed out are easy to fix, and this recipe is really worth it. With a few tweaks, you can make it really healthy as well! First, the problem of the batter being too thin and the gnocchi falling apart in the water: the batter is not too thin, but the gnocchi will fall apart if you drop the batter in rapidly boiling water. Instead, bring the water to a boil, then reduce to a gentle simmer before dropping in the batter. You can increase the temperature after a minute or so to a rapid simmer, but not a boil. Keep the gnocchi small and neat, which will also help them hold together. The gnocchi may sink at first and stick to the bottom; after a couple of minutes, just gently scrape them loose, and they'll float to the top. Second, the problem of the gnocchi being bland: the fix for this is to heavily salt the water, and I do mean heavily -- a couple of tablespoons of salt in a 6qt pot should do it. If you do this, you can decrease or eliminate the salt from the batter itself, because the exterior of the dumpling will be salty enough, and that's the part that hits your tongue first anyway. But don't forget the fresh-ground pepper in the batter!

Last fall I gave a well known cookbook author a ride to her next event. I happened to mention how I love this feedback feature on epicurious.com. There was a bit of irritation in her voice when she remarked, "You may find it usefull unless it was your recipe they were commenting about."

Regards,

Daisy11 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:22 am Post subject:

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I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot cook rice properly to save my life. It's either undercooked or sticking to the bottom of the pan.

an Indian friend recently taught me how she cooks rice. Rather than steaming it, she boils it like pasta. Not only does it cook faster, but the grains stay separated.

I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??

gls wrote:I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??

Do you poke and prod and move 'em a lot? Once upon a time I had a similar issue, then I learned to leave 'em the hell alone. If you touch them more than once in between adding them to and removing them from the pan, it's too much.

This is somewhat embarrassing, but I had the hardest time making a fried egg the way my dad and his mom can make them. I tried and tried and tried and they always came out too tough and seemingly flavorless.

So I finally asked for help and discovered that, while I used a measly squirt of olive oil (and also started out with the pan too hot), both Dad and Grandma cook them in a generous amount of butter. Duh.

Now my eggs are perfect.

Thanks for the tip on cooking rice like pasta. I'll give it a try.

gls wrote:I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??

Are they dry when you add them to the pan? Any water should be blotted off before searing.

Daisy11 wrote:I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot cook rice properly to save my life. It's either undercooked or sticking to the bottom of the pan.

I'm sure you've gotten advice from a million people, but what always works for me is one part rice to just under 2 parts water (it really depends on how dry the rice is. The usual rule is 2:1, but some rices can be as little as 1 1/2:1). Bring to boil, stick a lid on it, turn the heat to the lowest setting and leave it the heck alone for twenty minutes. Resist any temptation to peek--just trust that it's cooking away. Turn off the heat, let it sit a minute or two, and you should, in theory, have perfect rice.

Of course, there's a lot of other ways of doing it. Some people rinse their rice first for a less starchy product. Others fry it in oil before adding water. Still others boil it like pasta (as has been mentioned). They all turn out a slightly different product. I find that using jasmine rice and cooking to my method gives me the kind of rice that I like: soft, fluffy, and very slightly sticky. Personally, I don't like it when the grains are completely separated. If you like it that way, rinsing it several times until the water runs clear will keep the grains more individual, as will frying it or boiling it.

For me, I've haven't quite honed the instinct for making fried chicken in a cast iron pan. My Hungarian ex-girlfriend, who wasn't much of a cook, for some reason had the knack for turning out perfectly crispy, fully-cooked, and juicy fried chicken time and time again. No special brines or buttermilk or any trickery involved: just chicken parts, flour, egg, breadcrumbs, and salt. It really was amazing to watch: she would just watch the chicken and turn the burner higher or lower as experience demanded.

If I do it, I always end up with either burned crust and undercooked chicken, or a soggy, oily mess.

A woman who instinctively knows how to pan fry chicken...how about the phone number of your Hungarian ex, Binko old buddy, old pal?

stewed coot wrote:A woman who instinctively knows how to pan fry chicken...how about the phone number of your Hungarian ex, Binko old buddy, old pal?

I know, I know... you'll have to go to Budapest to get her. She is currently single.

gls wrote:

Daisy11 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:22 am Post subject:

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I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot cook rice properly to save my life. It's either undercooked or sticking to the bottom of the pan.

an Indian friend recently taught me how she cooks rice. Rather than steaming it, she boils it like pasta. Not only does it cook faster, but the grains stay separated.

I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??

The boiling method is great(and was developed)...for basmati. I wouldn't attempt it with other varieties.

Also, depending on the grain, several changes of and/or a long soak(up to an hour) in cold water can work wonders.

Have I mentioned before that I love this forum?!

(Although mashed potatoes are futile in my kitchen, I take solace in the fact that I have, on occasion, turned out a decent galette, stir-fry, seared scallop, fried chicken, rice, etc. Notwithstanding, my fellow cooks, I feel your pain. I hold out a small hope for popovers in the future.)

Daisy11 wrote:I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot cook rice properly to save my life. It's either undercooked or sticking to the bottom of the pan.

When I was a teen we had a Japanese foreign exchange student who taught us how to make perfect rice by steaming it in a saucepan. Not too much later, though, I had a Korean roommate who introduced me to the beauty of a rice cooker, and I've never gone back. It's so wonderful to put in jasmine, brown, wild or whatever rice and just leave it for awhile. I'll even go outside and garden while the rice is cooking. Another benefit is that I don't have to use the stove to make rice in summer.

Plus, you can leave the rice in the fancy rice cookers for hours on end. My current Korean roommate will actually leave hers in there for a couple of days, since the heater keeps it at a warm temperature. Not sure if that's safe, but she does it and I haven't seen her get sick yet (nor has our kitchen caught fire -- yet). We recently threw a dinner party where she made several authentic Korean dishes, and the whole process would have been much more complicated without a rice cooker.

I throw the (measured amounts of) rice and water together, cover, bring to a boil, turn heat to low, time for about three minutes less than I think it will take to cook. Then I test it. If it seems like it is still rather crunchy, I splash in a bit of extra water as needed. If it is nearly cooked but there is still water in the pot, I take the lid off and stir it and let water evaporate. Finally, when it is a minute or so from cooked (just a wee bit al dente) I turn off the heat and let it sit for five minutes or ten minutes until the rest of dinner is ready. Perfect rice every time. But I can't get there without this last minute adjustment process.

My nemesis is pears. Not even cooking pears. Figuring out how to buy good ones, ripen them, and eat them when they are ripe but before they are mealy. I hate mealy pears or peaches. But so often, they seem to turn overnight, and I miss the point at which they are edible. Very sad, because they are good when caught at the right moment.

I cannot make a simple spaghetti (dried) in tomato sauce (from a bottle) with whatever added ingredients; The end product is simply horrible.

Jay K wrote:I cannot make a simple spaghetti (dried) in tomato sauce (from a bottle) with whatever added ingredients; The end product is simply horrible.

I don't think that has much to do with your technique. Bottled sauce????

Judy H wrote:But so often, they seem to turn overnight, and I miss the point at which they are edible. Very sad, because they are good when caught at the right moment.

I think Eddie Izzard has a comedy bit specific to this issue....

Cathy2 wrote:Last fall I gave a well known cookbook author a ride to her next event. I happened to mention how I love this feedback feature on epicurious.com. There was a bit of irritation in her voice when she remarked, "You may find it usefull unless it was your recipe they were commenting about."

While I often find the comments to be very useful, I always get a laugh at the comments that read something like this:
"This is a great recipe, but instead of using duck, I used shrimp, and I replaced the white sauce with a red sauce and substituted spinach for the tomatoes. Oh, and I cut the quantity of butter in half and instead used vegetable oil. The only problem was that the recipe calls for too much salt and sticks to the bottom of the pan." (Umm...so you cooked an entirely different dish, but still posted your review?)

I think Eddie Izzard has a comedy bit specific to this issue....

This is hilarious. And I am so totally impressed that you can quote YouTube at the drop of a hat like that....

Dmnkly Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:55 pm Post subject:

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gls wrote:
I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??


Do you poke and prod and move 'em a lot? Once upon a time I had a similar issue, then I learned to leave 'em the hell alone. If you touch them more than once in between adding them to and removing them from the pan, it's too much.

Daisy11 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 1:46 pm Post subject:

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Thanks for the tip on cooking rice like pasta. I'll give it a try.

gls wrote:
I can't seem to master seared scallops -- I've tried with / without flour. Cast iron pan / nonstick. Any suggestions??

Are they dry when you add them to the pan? Any water should be blotted off before searing.

thanks for the scallop tips -- I do dry them but have a tendancy to be a bit impatient so the "let them be" tip may apply.

Hi,

Since you just mentioned patience. Do you wait for your pan to get hot enough? Your scallops need to sizzle when they hit the pan.

You may also be cooking too many at the same time. Some liquid is released, if you have too many scallops all the liquid causes them to braise rather than sear. I made this mistake just before Christmas. I then had to cook them long enough for the liquid to evaporate enough to go back to searing and carmelizing. They still came out as intended though I was close to getting it really screwed up.

Regards,

You may also be cooking too many at the same time. Some liquid is released, if you have too many scallops all the liquid causes them to braise rather than sear

thanks cathy! I think I've been reinspired!!

chgoeditor wrote:

Cathy2 wrote:Last fall I gave a well known cookbook author a ride to her next event. I happened to mention how I love this feedback feature on epicurious.com. There was a bit of irritation in her voice when she remarked, "You may find it usefull unless it was your recipe they were commenting about."

While I often find the comments to be very useful, I always get a laugh at the comments that read something like this:
"This is a great recipe, but instead of using duck, I used shrimp, and I replaced the white sauce with a red sauce and substituted spinach for the tomatoes. Oh, and I cut the quantity of butter in half and instead used vegetable oil. The only problem was that the recipe calls for too much salt and sticks to the bottom of the pan." (Umm...so you cooked an entirely different dish, but still posted your review?)

This is my sister Mary to a T. She will call me for a recipe. She proceeds to replace so many ingredients and introduces alternative cooking methods, that it is truly her recipe. I beg her not to attach my name to these new concoctions.

Regards,

Regarding mashed potatoes, it's harder than you think. In "The Man Who Ate Everything," Jeffrey Steingarten has an entire chapter on mastering mashed potatoes, because if you don't get them hot enough, the substance that holds the cells together doesn't break down, but if you get them too hot, the cell walls explode, and you get glue. So it's not easy to get it perfect.

As for rice, have you tried Uncle Ben's? It's perfect every time -- and you shouldn't be able to burn it if you follow the instructions, because you remove it from the heat before it's quite done and let it sit off the burner until it has absorbed all the liquid. And every grain is separate -- and it is "converted" rice -- a fairly ancient practice that hails from Pakistan, whereby part of the outer bran is steamed into the rice grain, so you get higher fiber and more nutrition than regular white rice, but it's still white rice. And people who know rice know Uncle Ben's. When my dad was with the airlines, we once had the president of Japan Airlines over for dinner. Mom served her wonderful beef stroganoff, which she prefered over rice. The president of JAl dug into the food, smilled, and said, "Ah, Uncle Ben's," then devoured everything on his plate.

So try Uncle Ben's Rice and read Jeffrey Steingarten. And good luck.

Sticking with potatoes, I cannot keep fried potatoes from sticking. Either that, or they come out really really greasy. My potatoes also tend to cook from white straight to burnt, bypassing the "golden brown" range entirely. I assume the problem is a function of the type and quantity of fat used versus the temperature, but I can't seem to get it right. It doesn't matter what format either. Sliced, cubed, shredded, parboiled or raw, I can't cook any of them right. I am always impressed when I get those perfectly browned, crunchy on the outside and moist on the inside hash browns at a diner or coffeeshop. How do they do it?

I am always impressed when I get those perfectly browned, crunchy on the outside and moist on the inside hash browns at a diner or coffeeshop. How do they do it?

According to a waiter at my current favorite Saturday morning breakfast establishment (of which I've sung the praises on this board before -- Tweet on Sheridan), the secret to their estimable hash browns is clarified butter.

A step that I am far far too lazy to indulge in in my home. I think perfect hash browns are a treat for restaurant visitation.

I make decent home fries at home. Hence, the name.

Shan

Regarding rice, a relatively old thread has some good info:

http://lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=1410

d4v3 wrote:Sticking with potatoes, I cannot keep fried potatoes from sticking. Either that, or they come out really really greasy. My potatoes also tend to cook from white straight to burnt, bypassing the "golden brown" range entirely. I assume the problem is a function of the type and quantity of fat used versus the temperature, but I can't seem to get it right. It doesn't matter what format either. Sliced, cubed, shredded, parboiled or raw, I can't cook any of them right. I am always impressed when I get those perfectly browned, crunchy on the outside and moist on the inside hash browns at a diner or coffeeshop. How do they do it?

Hi,

Somewhere in a Cook's Illustrated article, they had a discussion of fried foods sticking (assuming already you are at temperature). They indicated they stuck when they hadn't really formed a crust yet. It suggested some patience in letting this essential crust form, then flipping it won't be a problem.

Try it the next time you are browning a pot roast. In the very early browning phases, it will stick like glue to the pan. Once the crust has formed, then it lifts up fairly easily.

I have since applied this to other foods and found my patience in letting this crust form (aka leaving it well alone for a few minutes) rewarded me with golden crusts.

An aside: I like to sit watching the grill master do his thing. They often have covers and weights available to plop on foods as they are cooking. Those weights often end are placed on hashed browns to press as much potatoes onto the cooking surface. Those are tricks you don't often see at home.

Regards,

Fried rice. I have tried using freshly made, refrigerated day old, even frozen cooked ice, both parcooked and fully cooked, long, medium, and short grain, and it still ends up being a big mushy gloppy mess. The rice starts sticking to the pot or wok, and then starts breaking up. Maybe I need more and hotter and the rice warm before adding, but I swear I tried that.