Strangers with Stories (Adult Language): Wendy's

Strangers with Stories (Adult Language): Wendy's

So I’m at Blockbuster tonight, dropping off a few videos that my youngest daughter took out and never watched, and as I park the car, I notice a guy approaching. I try to ignore him.

GUY: You have any spare change?

ME (hustling): Sorry, bro.

GUY: Thanks for nothing.

This pissed me off. I drop off the videos, quickly, and walk back outside, aggressively.

ME: So, what…I owe you something?

GUY: What the fuck? All I asked you for was change.

ME: And you give me this …? (we pause, not knowing what we’re angry about) Hey, you want dinner?

GUY: Sure.

We go to Long John’s Silver, but it’s closed. He (his name, I find out, is Pops or Lester – he seems to prefer Pops), suggests Wendy’s – which is a walk, but it gives us a chance to talk. He’s 61, and sells Street Wise. He makes better than $100 a day, mostly on tips at Starbuck’s (POPS: People spend six dollars on coffee, and all I want is one, they figure, what the hell? And they usually give me two or three and don’t take a paper)

At Wendy’s, I’m interested in what Pops will order. He goes with a Cheeseburger with Bacon, a Double Stack (getting these two menu items in this way is a better deal than a Triple Stack, Pops points out, and it’s true), fries and a Frosty. I get a Double Stack; it’s abysmal. Over dinner, we talk.

POPS: I been in the penitentiary five, no six times since 1998. Last time, it was total bullshit. I was in alley taking a piss, and this cop stopped me, said I had coke on me, and all I had was my cock in my hand. The color of the bag he said I had didn’t even match the ones the dealer he also busted had.

We shot the shit about Jeff Fort, and the GD (Gangster Disciples), which Pops said he was a member of, and which helped him avoid getting raped while he was doing time. We talk about his kids living in Atlanta, and how some punks ripped him off earlier today.

And so it goes.

As we walk back to Blockbuster, Pops comments aloud on the derriere of every woman who walks by. They seem appreciative, which I find surprising. No offense. They make eye contact. I didn’t know this could happen.

At my car, we shake.

POPS: See you at Borders!

So, that was a slice, and it cost me only $10 (I bought "dinner" and gave Pops the few bucks change).

Driving home, I notice the distinct smell of Mennen coming off my right hand. It is not unpleasant.

Wendy's
11 N Harlem Ave
Oak Park, IL 60302
708.383.4290

David Hammond wrote:He’s 61, and sells Street Wise. He makes better than $100 a day, mostly on tips at Starbuck’s...

So street people can make upwards of $36,500 a year? Cool!

And they have cell phones!

riddlemay wrote: So street people can make upwards of $36,500 a year? Cool!

Quite a bonanza when you never have to worry about making rent...

Mhays wrote:

riddlemay wrote: So street people can make upwards of $36,500 a year? Cool!

Quite a bonanza when you never have to worry about making rent...

as well as taxes or social security!

Regards,

100$ a day! With that information in mind, I'm going to sell my car, my clothes, my comfy bed, my house, my nice coffeemaker, KitchenAid, Cuisinart, pots and pans, etc. and go live under a bridge. Wait, uh, maybe I'll just keep my day job . . .

I was in alley taking a piss, and this cop stopped me, said I had coke on me, and all I had was my cock in my hand.

We shot the shit about Jeff Fort, and the GD (Gangster Disciples), which Pops said he was a member of, and which helped him avoid getting raped while he was doing time.

Well, there's our next two taglines.

Great story.

Well, there's our next two taglines.

Those remind me of a game some friends of mine and I used to play. We have another friend who, well, let's just say Ned Flanders comes to mind. And the game was to come up with sentences that would never come out of his mouth-- not merely scabrously filthy (that's easy, as the mostly dull versions of "The Aristocrats" prove) but evocative of an entire, richly detailed and novelistically imagined lifestyle alien to him. You know, like:

We shot the shit about Jeff Fort, and the GD (Gangster Disciples), which Pops said he was a member of, and which helped him avoid getting raped while he was doing time.

Mhays wrote:

riddlemay wrote: So street people can make upwards of $36,500 a year? Cool!

Quite a bonanza when you never have to worry about making rent...

To provide a bit more detail on Pop's financial status. He actually said he could make up to $150/day (but I'm assuming that's rare...and that perhaps much of what he was telling me was bullshit).

C2, he does pay taxes, but he files "below the poverty level" (according to him, between $5-6K/year), so he always gets some back.

Most critically, he's not homeless. He lives at Lake and Race, and actually needed the money I gave him to get a train home (stop me if you've heard that before...see, you don't really know what to believe when you're dealing with a guy who makes his living on a variation of a confidence game). Still, my dinner with Pops was 30 minutes/10 bucks well spent.

Hammond

Excellent story, but for some reason, it seems like that conversation would have been better suited with elbows on the counters right across the street at:
Parky's Hot Dogs
329 Harlem Ave
Forest Park, IL
60130-1607
A hot dog stand which prides itself on making brown bags turn 'see thru' from grease seems more "Chicago story about escaping jail rape" than Wendy's.
Maybe next time.

seebee wrote:Excellent story, but for some reason, it seems like that conversation would have been better suited with elbows on the counters right across the street at:
Parky's Hot Dogs
329 Harlem Ave
Forest Park, IL
60130-1607
A hot dog stand which prides itself on making brown bags turn 'see thru' from grease seems more "Chicago story about escaping jail rape" than Wendy's.
Maybe next time.

Dining options were, shall we say, limited at that hour on a Sunday night. Parky's was closed; at Wendy's, the manager asked us to leave around 9:45 (they were cleaning up and the doors were already locked). One other small point: Pops seemed to know most of the staff at Wendy's, even commenting to one of the servers about some "asshole assistant manager" who just got fired.

J&J fish for catfish nuggets?

Only on LTHForum would we debate the best place for someone to have taken a homeless man for a free meal.

kuhdo wrote:J&J fish for catfish nuggets?

You know, as these questions come up, I'm really quite surprised how much info I was able to mine from Pops in our short time together. Re: your suggestion of J&J: Pops doesn't eat fish (except for tuna and salmon; he singled out catfish in particular as unacceptable), and he planned to get chicken if we went to Long John Silvers (not his favorite, because they cook everything in that "fishy oil").

On a related topic, during the opening credits for "Check, Please," the J&J fish sign flashes up; I've been to the J&J on Harlem years ago, during Chowhound days, and it was quite bad (of course, I ordered the fried
oysters, which is grounds for having my head examined). My question: how did a place like this get on "Check, Please"? If anyone has seen this episode, I'd be interested to hear what the guest ordered.

Hammond

kuhdo wrote:J&J fish for catfish nuggets?

Buy a man a fish (nugget),
and he eats for a day;
Teach a man to fish,
and he'll...
probably die from
dioxin/heavy-metal
poisoning.

David Hammond wrote:On a related topic, during the opening credits for "Check, Please," the J&J fish sign flashes up; I've been to the J&J on Harlem years ago, during Chowhound days, and it was quite bad (of course, I ordered the fried
oysters, which is grounds for having my head examined). My question: how did a place like this get on "Check, Please"? If anyone has seen this episode, I'd be interested to hear what the guest ordered.

Hammond

J&J is not listed on Check Please's list of restaurants reviewed. I don't think there's any rhyme or reason to the restaurants they feature in the opening credits. They also feature Burger Baron on Grand Ave. in the opening credits, and to my knowledge, nobody has ever recommended that.

Mike G wrote:Only on LTHForum would we debate the best place for someone to have taken a homeless man for a free meal.

tagline #3 from this thread.

i like wendy's but Jack in the Crack (if they ever opened a franchise in Chicago-land) would've been more apropos.

My intent was not to criticize Hammonds gracious act, but only to point out my favorite late nite stop on that stretch of Harlem ave.. The catfish nuggets (actually belly strips, not just cut up fillets) are really good especially with the unnaturally orange hot sauce they provide.
Regardless of one's eating companions living arrangements, worth a stop.

David Hammond wrote:On a related topic, during the opening credits for "Check, Please," the J&J fish sign flashes up . . . My question: how did a place like this get on "Check, Please"? If anyone has seen this episode, I'd be interested to hear what the guest ordered.

If my experience working in the video 'sausage factory' is any guide, what happened was that some producer told some camera person "go out and shoot me footage of the front of restaurants" and that some editor put it in the opening monage because it was more visually interesting that some of the other pictures she/he had to use.

Giovanna

I think I know this guy. The other morning I was going into the green line station at Harlem and he asked me for bus money so he could "get to work."


J & J? Junior sandwich, no tarter, hot sauce. I can get a real craving for it.

Mike G wrote:Only on LTHForum would we debate the best place for someone to have taken a homeless man for a free meal.

I too, certainly, did not mean to criticize the OP's choice, or act of kindness. Just simply stating that the entire scenario seems like it should have taken place in a Chicago grease joint - and there happens to be one directly across the street from where they were (although it was closed at the time.)

I had my last cigarette 3.5 weeks ago, and I happen to know for a fact that if "Pops" gave me a "Thanks for nothing," type comment, it would be quite a while before he would be visiting that area again. I do commend
Mr. Hammond's generosity.

Giovanna wrote:my experience working in the video
'sausage factory'

Unfortunately I was...underqualified
for a role in that video, but went on
to star in the sequel:
Vienna Sausage Fest

I was in alley taking a piss, and this cop stopped me, said I had coke on me, and all I had was my cock in my hand.

Driving home, I notice the distinct smell of Mennen coming off my right hand. It is not unpleasant.

So ...

Katie wrote:

I was in alley taking a piss, and this cop stopped me, said I had coke on me, and all I had was my cock in my hand.

Driving home, I notice the distinct smell of Mennen coming off my right hand. It is not unpleasant.

So ...

These events were separated by several years, but you may draw whatever unseemly conclusions you wish.