Food is such an important aspect of my life, that I DO in fact choose not to eat out with certain friends b/c of clashing tastes. My wife and I prefer to dine family-style vs the "eat your own entree" style when eating out with others, and this just does not work if tastes and sometimes the amount of income one would allocate to dining do not mesh.

I find it just fine to separate interests with friends in this manner. There are individuals whom we could enjoy a night of opera/classical music/theater with and those who would not. There are friends you DON'T want in your poker circle (ie: sore losers, those who must "break even" before letting the evening end, etc). There are friends who enjoy foreign films. There are those who would enjoy a Bible study, and those who would not. There are those whom you could go out drinking with... and those whom this type of activity would not be enjoyable.

Most of my friends from college are anti-foodies out of just simply not caring, as good food beyond Papa Del's deep dish had absolutely no impact in any way on how we became friends. The ones in Chicago, I just don't go out to dinner with them, and now that most of them have kids, it's easier that way anyway.

One friend I see often in San Jose is far more adventurous, and so he'll usually take me to someplace interesting if I ask.

My best friend from college, who lives on the east coast now, is the anti-foodiest of all. I think it comes from having parents who grew up in Hawaii in the 50s. First of all, he eats SPAM. We took him to an midscale Italian place years ago (I think it was Scoozi! when it first opened) and everybody enjoyed their meal but him. He admitted that he found the menu far too complicated. Years later, I took him and his wife to Zia's in Edison Park. Same reaction. I've learned not to bother, and when I go visit him and his family, I try to time it so we can do dim sum for one meal, and a burger for another.

I had a co-worker who is still a good friend but now lives in Oakland. She readily admits that she was far more interested in the atmosphere and ambiance of a restaurant than what she actually ate. Food was a necessity, and "going out" meant "going someplace with atmosphere."

Oh, and at dinner last night, my mom said to me:

"You think about food way too much."



No point even responding to that one.

threadkiller wrote:Oh, and at dinner last night, my mom said to me:

"You think about food way too much."



No point even responding to that one.

That statement straddles two threads, the other being "You know you're an LTH'r when ..."

I have a friend who eats practically nothing but meat and potatoes. In her mind, salad isn't salad unless it's iceberg lettuce with a wedge of tomato on it. Any vegetables she does eat come out of a can. I've given up trying to get her to try anything she considers "weird" and we manage to find places to have lunch nearly every week (even though it's a very short list of places). Ethnic food is out of the question. The only beer she would ever consider drinking is Miller Lite.

My husband has a friend who loves to eat, has often recommended restaurants to us and is, in fact, the person who introduced him to Chuck's. He's also heavily into beer, even having experimented for a couple of years in his basement and producing some stuff that was quite drinkable. We really like both of these people.

These friends are both single. I have often contemplated fixing them up, but immediately give up the idea when I see the look of horror on my husband's face when I mention it. I think they would get along on some levels, but I don't think they could ever find a restaurant where both of them will be happy with their menu choices.

Food really does make a difference.

Suzy

Honestly, most of my friends are not foodies. A disproportionate amount of girlfriends I've had were vegetarian, and I've lived for extended periods of time (several months) in a communal setting in which we prepared only vegetarian food as it was less hassle than creating several courses.

It's never bothered me in the least. I'll eat anything (although I will do my best to avoid Taco Bell.) I'll go to Applebee's and Denny's, and I'll actually enjoy it. Food is my hobby, but it doesn't decide my friends. That's kind of dumb, in my opinion. I have my preferences, and passionate ones at that, but I will eat anything put in front of me.

I'm glad to see distinctions being drawn between people with dietary restrictions and people who plain and simple just have bad taste in food.

I've been a vegetarian for 13 years, vegan for some of that time. My partner eats everything. We get along great--if he feels like going out for rib tips I'll come too and eat the fries; for more formal meals we pick places where we both can get reasonable main dishes.

We've been to a lot of places, vegetarian and not. Some are great (Ras Dashen, Arya Bhavan before it went downhill, Renga-Tei, Soul Vegetarian East, Mimi's sandwiches when she was at the Long Room), and some not. I like to think I have a fairly discerning palate, and I won't pretend a restaurant is good just because it's vegetarian (cf. Chicago Diner)

I have eight or nine different kinds of sea salt in my kitchen and could tell you which are good in what kind of recipe (well... maybe only with four or five of them). It makes me sad to be lumped in with the anti-foodies. The reflexive anti-vegetarianism in posts like Mike G's is the main reason I never post on LTH.

charolais wrote:The reflexive anti-vegetarianism in posts like Mike G's is the main reason I never post on LTH.

I'm curious -- what is it in the post that makes it appear anti-vegetarian? Mike G mentions vegetarians, but also people who eat only meat and junk food, and folks who don't like food at all. I don't think he's anti any of them, just wondering how folks cope when trying to accommodate differences.

I'm not a vegetarian myself, but I have plenty of friends who are vegetarians. Of course, the ones who are friends are the ones who, like you, can cope with my eating something they wouldn't. The ones who would spray-paint my car because I murder animals don't make it past the acquaintance stage.

I actually think there are people who are harder to accommodate than vegetarians -- the people who won't eat anything. I had a roommate in college who pretty much only liked iceberg lettuce, ground beef, and mashed potatoes. That was vastly more limiting than my vegetarian friends' preferences. We got to the point where we simply didn't go out to eat together. (And I think that's Mike's point -- if you can't eat together, and eating is your main form of recreation, what do you do.)

We've got plenty of vegetarian posters -- so don't stay away. No one here is anti-vegetarian, and if you join in, you may help some of those who are struggling with the issue of dining compatability actually find resolution.

The reflexive anti-vegetarianism in posts like Mike G's is the main reason I never post on LTH.

The who what?

You mean like this?

There are vegetarians and vegans among the parents from my kids' school, but all that means is that if I make something with meat in it for a potluck, half the people don't eat it and half are extremely grateful to see it. (And it's occasionally been a fun challenge to make something genuinely interesting while meeting these restrictions. It's like writing lipograms.)

Seems pretty accepting to me. Now, admittedly I applied the term anti-foodie to the whole category, but subsequent discussion clarified where that applied and where it seemed too strong. I don't know, I've dealt with vegetarians who are censorious toward carnivores, and that's anti-foodie, and I've known many others who weren't anti-foodie in my book, so to me, that's not being anti-veggie.

Is it possible to be friends with an anti-foodie?
Friends, yes. Lovers, no.

Dmnkly wrote:

tatterdemalion wrote:Another one of "my problems" is that many folks seem to experience significant anxiety when cooking for food fanatics like us.

Oh, this is the worst, and it happens to me all the time. It's like people are afraid to pick a restaurant, or afraid to cook for me, or they feel like they have to apologize over and over again, and it just makes me sad.

Since I am married to Mike G but can't cook anything (except Mac 'n cheese from the box) to save my life, I frequently experience significant anxiety on the two occasions I do need to cook or provide dinner: his birthday and Father's Day. I am already planning for the latter right now. I think a lot of it is being raised by a mother who is not a very good cook. She tried really hard but was never taught by her mother either (they had cooks growing up). The anxiety, of course, is all on my part, because Mike is just grateful he doesn't have to cook twice a year. If I hadn't run into him 20+ years ago, I would be alternating baked potatoes and cereal for dinner right now. There but for the grace of ....