Last week in Oaxaca I noticed an interesting and prevalent phenomenon. Street vendors and fonda operators donned plastic baggies on their hands to accept money and give change (not to handle food).

The opposite of a disgusting habit, I realize.

Here's a doozie, and it really happened:

I was at Whole Foods, considering which items to get at the self-service hot prepared foods bar. There was an unmarked stew-like dish, which looked pretty good, but I had no idea what it was. I brought a serving spoon portion of it out of its tray to get it closer to me and get a better look. Unbeknowst to me, a woman behind me was watching this, and started screaming.

"I saw you eat that!" she shrieked. "You just ate food off the steam table!! You're disgusting!!! I'm getting the manager!!!!"

I think because I'm a middle-aged Jewish guy and this was a ranting African-American woman is the reason why I felt trapped in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

I tried to defend myself.

"I didn't touch that food," I said. "I just wanted to get a better look at it. You were standing over there and my back was to you, so it must have looked like I was tasting it, but I really wasn't. Not even close. I wouldn't do that in a million years."

"We'll see about that," she said, and turned on her heels with that look of 'mission' in her eyes.

I continued my shopping. A few minutes later, I hear her voice again.

"That's him. That one!" she said, pointing me out to a Whole Foods employee, also an African-American woman.

I'm now know I'm officially dead.

The woman goes through her story again with the employee, who is shaking her head in tsk-tsking disbelief at my barbarism. I go through my side of it, adding that the accusation is completely in error and would only be pursued by a blind lunatic. This doesn't seem to calm the situation.

More words were exchanged, and I told the two of them to find another witness, because the blind lunatic's story was complete b.s. And with that, I went to the checkout line--seething, but also wondering if this was something I should share with Larry for next season.

Olde School you sir are a desporado. I highly recommend you make your self available for some sort of community service.

Old School, what a beautiful, personality-revealing vignette, full of Davidian social humiliation, injustice and impotent sputtering. Very enjoyable read.

Hammond

My pet peeve is grounded more in a general observance rather than a specific occasion, but I absolutely cannot stand hearing people chew.

Usually, this isn't an issue given that most restaurants are loud enough to drown out the grating smacking gnaw of an open-mouthed cud-chewer. And some situations merit a well-deserved slurp (i.e. oysters, Asian noodles, etc.)...however, there are a few situations that stand out as being particularly annoying:

A) Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel. He's lucky that my fascination with the stuff he eats outweighs the power of my gag reflex when hearing him slurp and chaw...and his dumb hyperbolic commmentary.

B) Work. Now, my office is pretty quiet, so, the fact that I am "lucky" enough to share a cube-wall with mouth-breather is a real downer. Not only is she devoid of any culinary adventurism (another pet peeve in of itself...she only eats generic salads and throws hissy fits if we order anything other than Jimmy John's or Potbelly's), but she also chews her candy/gum/everything so loudly that I can actually hear her through the wall. Oof... Thank God for my iPod.

This doesn't have to do with a restaurant (or maybe it does, and I thankfully have not seen it yet) but why, why, WHY do people pick their noses while driving? Do they not realize they are surrounded by GLASS???

Also, I cannot stand it when people cut their nails in public. Ew, yuck, gross, pleck! Those little nails flying around makes me want to run far away from where they are obliviously trimming, but sometimes I can't, because it's on the EL.

Olde School you should send that to Larry David. It's priceless, I can see it in my head. It truly is a CYE moment.

While this is not a disgusting habit in relation to being sanitary, to me, waving your hand/empty glass/finger at your server while shouting at them for attention is a disgusting habit.

brandon,

How do you call the attention of a waiter who flies by ignoring your table? I've done the wave largely because I've been ignored.

Regards,

Cathy2 wrote:brandon,

How do you call the attention of a waiter who flies by ignoring your table? I've done the wave largely because I've been ignored.

Regards,

I take it out on them in their tip, factoring in how busy the place is.

messycook wrote:Also, I cannot stand it when people cut their nails in public. Ew, yuck, gross, pleck! Those little nails flying around makes me want to run far away from where they are obliviously trimming, but sometimes I can't, because it's on the EL.

A former partner at my firm, who is now the partner-in-charge at another large firm, started clipping his toenails in his office while I was in there talking to him about one of our cases. I was very young then, so politely tried not to notice. Now, I would have stopped talking and asked him if he'd like me to come back another time. True story.

In this same thought stream: I once read a Dear Abby/Ann Landers where they observed a office worker whip off her pantyhose and stick her toe in her mouth to gnarl her nail down to size.

Regards,

Cathy2 wrote:In this same thought stream: I once read a Dear Abby/Ann Landers where they observed a office worker whip off her pantyhose and stick her toe in her mouth to gnarl her nail down to size.

Regards,

Wow, that gal sounds very fit!