Hmmm. I still don't really get it. I think Hema's and Khan's would be fine spots for a newbie. Khan's does not offer a paneer dish that I know of, and does not offer Lamb Vindaloo, but does offer everything else you mentioned, I believe (along with other lamb / gosht dishes.) Too bad Hema's is out, because when Hema and / or her sister are there, they will totally hook you up with whatever you are looking for. Hmmm. I have never been to this place, but based on what I've read/heard, maybe this will fit your bill? Have lots of variations on naan, owner is accessible, friendly, and very helpful for newbies:
Bhabi's Kitchen
6352 N. Oakley Ave.
Chicago
(773) 764-7007
Bhabi's has a thread here with its detractors, and proponents. Again, I've never been.
http://www.lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=600
http://www.lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=1981
Also, perhaps Usmaniya? In my experience, they are friendly towards newbies as well, and it's a bright-ish spot
Usmania Restaurant
2244 W. Devon Ave.
773-262-1900
Although, to be honest, I think I'd take her to Khan's. Or Hema's on off peak hours.
We cannot be friends if you do not know the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip.