A blanket apology

I wish to beg a formal apology to the many that have or may happen to drive behind me.

We speak of the distractions of using a cell phone when driving, but what about me, driving with my knees, shoveling down a taco? Am I not impaired?

And what of my manners? While I despise litterers, I wontonly toss bones out my window or even sun roof with abandon. Wing bones, rib bones, pork chop bones, turkey leg bones ... they're biodegradable, right?

And what the am I doing, driving and scarfing, while still rubber neckin' for the next food fix?

Hi,

Years ago, I had a friend whose brother was a forest ranger. He complained driving with his brother was rather dangerous. His brother had one eye on the road and one eye scanning the trees as they drove. I wasn't very impressed, until years later I found myself hunting mushrooms while driving 55 MPH on a country road. I saw a mushroom cluster growing at the base of a tree and proceeded to do one of my memorable fast pullovers and stops. I just didn't realize I had a car fast approaching from behind. I nearly got myself killed over some mushrooms!

Earlier this year, I explained how I traditionally exit Chicago on car trips with a parting meal at Jim's. I commented I have often blessed freshly laundered clothes with juices from a Polish and mustard while driving down the Dan Ryan. I immediately received an earnest e-mail reminding how irresponsible I was to do such a thing. I should carefully finish my meal, then proceed with driving. I promised to be good.

I was stopped by the police once for eating while driving. Of course, it was not in the United States but in Moscow, USSR. Really, I think the police officer just wanted to yank my chain, but it didn't work. Once I was out of sight, I returned to my meal on wheels because that is the birth right of an American ... or at least me!

I know, I shouldn't eat in the car, though I do it anyway.

Ramon wrote:We speak of the distractions of using a cell phone when driving, but what about me, driving with my knees, shoveling down a taco? Am I not impaired?

And what of my manners? While I despise litterers, I wontonly toss bones out my window or even sun roof with abandon. Wing bones, rib bones, pork chop bones, turkey leg bones ... they're biodegradable, right?

Ramon,

There are some things that are very bad to eat while driving (e.g., soup, spaghetti, tacos) but there are also some things that I really enjoy to eat while driving (apples, cut vegetables, candy). Actually, I think eating can improve one's driving. I calm down when I eat, and many people would drive better if they could just calm down when behind the wheel.

I carry some one-gallon sealable freezer bags in my car so that I can dispose of apple cores and related debris without throwing them out the window (illegal, and such consumables draw little animals to the highway where they are crushed by our big steel machines).

Anyway, I like to drive and eat (some things), and I believe it can enhance highway safety.

Hammond

I was on Golf Rd a few months ago and had to do a quick stop for some Osage Oranges (hedge apples). Beats the u-turn I did on an Idaho highway to view a flock of wild turkeys or the rapid stop to watch a black bear in Eganville, ON.

Hi,

A few years ago, I saw a well dressed woman pull her car over. Using the plastic bag the newspaper arrives in, carefully pick up a dead squirrel on the road. If it were not for the heavy traffic, this was really quite dangerous what she was doing, I would have pulled over to inquire about her intentions: a dinner of roadkill or a respectful burial.

I have a book on game cooking I bought in my college bookstore. The woman talked about picking up roadkill pheasants for dinner. She had to carefully disguise her intentions when they were off-hunting-season. So this book gave me the courage to acquire my own roadkill pheasant experience on a lonely Illinois country road. The birds blood was still wet, so it was a fresh kill. I picked it up and placed it in the trunk. When I got home, I carefully removed the skin with feathers intact. I kept the breast, which I cooked. The remaining flesh and bones went to my collection of chicken bits for stock.

I very much wanted the feathers and skin to remain intact as a souvenir. Where the bird had come in contact with its fate, there was a tear that I carefully sewed. The next morning I contacted a taxidermist who explained what I needed to do. First step was to remove as much meat as possible from the flesh, which will rot. I had to remove the bones from the wings as well or at least scrape off the meat. I then was advised to wash the feathers, there was lots of coagulated blood, in Dawn dishwashing soap and rinse thoroughly. I blew dry the feathers and everyone fell back into place. I sprinkled the feathers with Borox. I flipped the bird over and arranged* the body as I wanted it, then heavily packed the Borox including stuffing into the wing holes. I let it sit on a table on my enclosed porch for a month while it dried and preserved. After a month, I had my pheasant roadkill trophy to hang on the wall of my television room, which has been there now 10 years without one feather dropping out.

*I didn't quite understand that how I arranged it would be permanent, I thought I could do slight improvements later. No dice. Once it is dried, it is frozen in place. So it is not as perfect as I like, though how many people have personally taxidermied anything? Not even Martha Stewart can claim that one!

Cathy2 wrote:Hi,

A few years ago, I saw a well dressed woman pull her car over. Using the plastic bag the newspaper arrives in, carefully pick up a dead squirrel on the road. If it were not for the heavy traffic, this was really quite dangerous what she was doing, I would have pulled over to inquire about her intentions: a dinner of roadkill or a respectful burial.

Not kosher... not halal...

So it is not as perfect as I like, though how many people have personally taxidermied anything?

I'm impressed but somehow also find the story pretty funny... By the way, how was the breast?

Not even Martha Stewart can claim that one!

Are you sure? I'll bet she'll talk about taxidermy as if she invented it...

A

By the way, how was the breast?

The memory of this meal is lost to the ages. Overshadowed by the do-it-yourself taxidermy story.

Regards,

Well I could never throw garbage out the window - it's just an insult to everyone else that shares the same space.

As to stopping for roadkill, I know a couple of people that do this not for any potential food value of dead animals but instead to use the fur for fly-tying. I have found my fly-tying friends to be both innovative and frugal.

Kman wrote:instead to use the fur for fly-tying. I have found my fly-tying friends to be both innovative and frugal.

Now, that sounds very reasonable. There are enough dead squirrels on quiet residential streets. Why risk everything, your life, collecting on on a busy intersection. Though I really like the fly-tying explanation.

Regards,

Hi,

What happens when you bring roadkill to a restaurant: Kentucky restaurant shut down after road kill found in kitchen

A Chinese restaurant in Kentucky has reportedly been forced to shut its doors after allegedly serving up roadkill.

WKYT.com reports that the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg was shuttered on Thursday after a customer called the health department when she saw a dead deer being wheeled into the kitchen.

Cathy2 wrote:Hi,

What happens when you bring roadkill to a restaurant: Kentucky restaurant shut down after road kill found in kitchen

A Chinese restaurant in Kentucky has reportedly been forced to shut its doors after allegedly serving up roadkill.

WKYT.com reports that the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg was shuttered on Thursday after a customer called the health department when she saw a dead deer being wheeled into the kitchen.

I love the name of the restaurant, "The Red Flower". This will be my new euphemism for roadkill, as in a red flower blooming from the asphalt.

Elayne Boosler used to do a very funny routine about how dangerous driving and eating was,
the gist of it was people who were drinking and driving were TRYING to drive...
and people who were driving and eating weren't trying to drive they were trying to eat...
reaching into the back seat for that bag of Oreos...
it cracked me up completely...

I am pretty squeamish about anything dead like that so I would not be picking up or eating road kill. I look the other way. Also regarding eating it, two of the worlds major religions have rules about not eating it and even though I am not a member of them I am mindful of what they say. There must be some logical reason why its not kosher or halal. I would be afraid of spoilage. Cathy is very brave to deal with the pheasant in the way she did...maybe she missed her calling as a doctor or maybe a mortician....LOL. As far as throwing food refuse out the window, I would caution against eating most things and driving, and littering ....although throwing an apple core out the window would not be the worst thing but I think bones could attract rats. I eat a fair amount in the car but usually park and finish I do not drive and eat.

I lived in KY for a while (also met & married my better two-thirds there).
It shocked me that there were radio ads in the Louisville and Lexington areas warning people not to pick up squirrel road kill due to some sort of dangerous problem with the squirrel brains that season.

I mentioned it to a co-worker who said that they were safe - her husband and son shot squirrels for their burgoo.

Snacking tourists fined after Rome declares 'War on the Sandwich'

It’s one of the highlights of any trip to Rome: Sitting on the Spanish Steps eating a real Italian gelato. But on Oct. 1, it became a potentially costly vacation memory.

The mayor of the "eternal city" has made it illegal to eat snacks and junk food on or around its monuments.

Tourists will still be allowed to eat while they walk, but stop with a bag of chips in your hands or sit down while chewing on your panino, and you are eligible for a fine of 25 to 500 euros ($32 to $650). An Italian daily newspaper dubbed it the “War on the Sandwich.”
...

Yes you will not be able to eat your squirrel paninis on the Spanish steps on your visit to Rome.

toria wrote:Yes you will not be able to eat your squirrel paninis on the Spanish steps on your visit to Rome.

I will now add this to my bucket list. Thanks for the inspiration!

Saw a woman eating a salad while driving on the eastbound Eisenhower. That was scary.

I can't personally claim home-grown taxidermy, but Bill can. When he was getting his masters in ornithology, he worked in a natural history museum. He did so much taxidermy that he developed an allergy to the dermestid beatles used to clean the skeletons. (For the true DIYers among you, here's how you maintain a dermestid beatle colony.)

My role was primarily to supply specimens. In addition to picking up roadkill, during migration I did a morning walk around the building I where I worked, collecting birds that had broken their wee necks on the windows. Our freezer was frequently filled with dead warblers, waiting for their date with the borax.

Ann Fisher wrote:I can't personally claim home-grown taxidermy, but Bill can. When he was getting his masters in ornithology, he worked in a natural history museum. He did so much taxidermy that he developed an allergy to the dermestid beatles used to clean the skeletons. (For the true DIYers among you, here's how you maintain a dermestid beatle colony.)

My role was primarily to supply specimens. In addition to picking up roadkill, during migration I did a morning walk around the building I where I worked, collecting birds that had broken their wee necks on the windows. Our freezer was frequently filled with dead warblers, waiting for their date with the borax.

Members night at the Field Museum when you can walk up into the labs and offices, I have seen their demestid beatle colony doing its work.

Thanks for sharing your special memories.

Regards,

I worked for many years at an agency dealing with environment and natural resources. I walked into a staff meeting and saw a dead bird on a napkin placed on the table. Squeamish that I am, I let a small squeal out and left the room. Of course everyone chided me for being a wimp. They routinely collected poor birds that had flown into our building outside and broke their necks. They froze them in plastic bags and turned them over to the museum.