A friend and I stopped by Kuma's last night for some late(r) night burgers 'n beer. First visit for her and another convert to the cause. I have to say I was pretty impressed after watching a girl that weighs 98lbs soaking wet dispatch a YOB faster than my burger went by-by!
---

This just in... it is with a heavy heart that I report that the scallop app (in any form) is no longer on the menu and it appears that it hasn't been in a little while. Inquires as to any possible return of this much beloved starter were not confirmed in time for this report. Should this have any impact into the hotly contested GNR race? This reporter will let the reader decide.* KP (Kuma's Press)

*Please note: this is a poor attempt at humor. I think Kuma's is the very definition of a GNR.

Does anyone know when Kuma's is set to be on Check Please?

I'm scared.

I absolutely love the place and each of the last times I've been there it's been crowded enough that I had to wait a few minutes for a table. I can't imagine how swamped it'll be after Check Please airs, given that the back patio will be closed in the cold weather.

I'm not 100% positive, but October 20 sticks in my mind. Have to get there this week!

Ralph Wiggum wrote:Does anyone know when Kuma's is set to be on Check Please?

I'm scared.

I absolutely love the place and each of the last times I've been there it's been crowded enough that I had to wait a few minutes for a table. I can't imagine how swamped it'll be after Check Please airs, given that the back patio will be closed in the cold weather.

I just checked the Check Please schedule and Kuma's is not on this coming Friday's edition.

well this is shitty news...

thanks for telling me, i'll have to hit up the back patio sometime this weekend too. thanks!

soltro79 wrote:thanks for telling me, i'll have to hit up the back patio sometime this weekend too. thanks!

Ralph Wiggum wrote:given that the back patio will be closed in the cold weather.

I definitely should have prefaced this sentence with a big I assume. I have no idea when/if they actually close it.

I picked the perfect day to try Kuma's for the first time. A beautiful fall Saturday afternoon and my friend and I sat on the back patio.

Our server could not have been friendlier, so that was a good start, even though it took a long time to get our food. I had the Kuma Burger -- cheddar, bacon and a fried egg. My only real complaint about the burger is that I ordered it medium rare and it was served medium, if not even a little past medium. Given the number of similar complaints here, I might just order my burger between rare and medium rare next time. Nonetheless, the burger was still a bit juicy and really packed tremendous flavor -- really good bacon and cheddar in my opinion. If cooked perfectly, I might have been among the best burgers I've ever had . . . but oh well.

The rest of the burger combinations on the menu are quite creative and I look forward to trying more. I kept twisting and turning, checking out the burgers on others' tables, and planning my next visit.

I opted for the homemade potato chips to accompany my burger and the chips left me a little disappointed. Most had good crunch and good flavor, but they had obviously been made quite a while ago and at least a few were borderline stale.

Finally, the mac and cheese. Kuma's mac and cheese is made with Monterrey Jack and Parmesan and topped with a broiled breadcrumb crust. For our two complementary additions to the mac & cheese, we chose prosciutto and caramelized onions. Texture was great, from the crust to the creamy filling. I thought the flavor was only decent. I would have preferred a sharper cheese combination. I'm not a fan of Monterrey Jack in mac and cheese -- it's just too plain. I would have opted for a white cheddar, maybe a blue, something more flavorful.

All in all, I liked Kuma's food and thought the service, although slow, was just about as friendly as could be. I find it so refreshing to eat at a restaurant where they make you feel like they're thrilled that you walked in the door. I'll certainly return.

Two new items on the menu tonight at the $12 pricepoint (all burgers still $10, Dark Throne still rocking my world):

- pastrami sandwich; saw one at another table and it was being orbited by several moons

- Goblin Cock. Yes, I said Goblin Cock. I was going to name a thread on the main board "Goblin Cock" and then dare the mods to delete it since it's an actual menu item at a GNR, but decided that would be a bit glib. It's a 1/2 pound burger with a 1/4 char dog sticking out of it, covered in pico de gallo and served with a special mustard, and a note on the chalkboard said "ketchup WILL NOT BE SERVED with this menu item. Don't even ask."

Goblin Cock. One of the only two-word strings that until this post turned up zero hits on the big board.

Santander wrote:
- Goblin Cock. Yes, I said Goblin Cock. I was going to name a thread on the main board "Goblin Cock" and then dare the mods to delete it since it's an actual menu item at a GNR, but decided that would be a bit glib. It's a 1/2 pound burger with a 1/4 char dog sticking out of it, covered in pico de gallo and served with a special mustard, and a note on the chalkboard said "ketchup WILL NOT BE SERVED with this menu item. Don't even ask."

Goblin Cock. One of the only two-word strings that until this post turned up zero hits on the big board.

That is HILARIOUS! I grabbed this album for theamazingly humorous album cover alone. I can say the music is not at all my speed, but the perverse looking Lord of the Rings style cover was too funny. Try to get that picture out of your head if you order this burger...
Jamie

Goblin Cock. One of the only two-word strings that until this post turned up zero hits on the big board.

Thanks. I'm stumping for votes for the Halloween forum tagline.

Santander wrote:Two new items on the menu tonight at the $12 pricepoint (all burgers still $10, Dark Throne still rocking my world):

- pastrami sandwich; saw one at another table and it was being orbited by several moons

- Goblin Cock. Yes, I said Goblin Cock. I was going to name a thread on the main board "Goblin Cock" and then dare the mods to delete it since it's an actual menu item at a GNR, but decided that would be a bit glib. It's a 1/2 pound burger with a 1/4 char dog sticking out of it, covered in pico de gallo and served with a special mustard, and a note on the chalkboard said "ketchup WILL NOT BE SERVED with this menu item. Don't even ask."

Goblin Cock. One of the only two-word strings that until this post turned up zero hits on the big board.

Was there for lunch today with a client and noticed it as well. Thank Jah the waitress was in a humorous mood when I said, "What can you tell me about Goblin Cock?" I'm sure that they've been hearing more than their fair share of similar requests of late.

I had the "Goblin Cock" Saturday afternoon.

It was, as previously posted, a burger with a large, split, grilled hot dog atop it, cheddar cheese, "neon" relish & sport peppers. My server said if she saw me put ketchup on it, I would be asked to leave. No worries there, as it was absolutely freakin' delicious as served. I declare this as my new favorite Chicago burger, barely inching out the pizza burger at Top Notch.

I also had the home-made chips, which were a little too overdone for my liking. I'll go with the fries next time.

Per last night's GNR LTH meetup @ Kuma's:

The Goblin Cock has officially been added to the menu and is not just a chalkboard special any longer. Other new additions include the Minsk, with pastrami, sauerkraut, onions and brown mustard.

I had the Macabre, which is gouda (I believe), roasted red pepper, and (get this, piggy lovers): bacon and pancetta. An excellent burger, but still doesn't dethrone my current fave, which is the Iron Maiden. Mine was cooked a perfect medium rare, for the record.

And the beer menu has changed yet again - no more Rogue Chipotle (sigh) but still a number of new things to try.

At last night's GNR presentation dinner, I had the Led Zeppelin, which is a burger topped with swiss and cheddar (although I don't recall the cheese), grilled onions, pulled pork and bacon. MMMMMM Good!

Next time, I'm trying the Minsk which is basically a burger with a pastrami reuben on top. (Though named not after a heavy metal band, but the sister city of Pinsk).

stevez wrote: Next time, I'm trying the Minsk which is basically a burger with a pastrami reuben on top. (Though named not after a heavy metal band, but the sister city of Pinsk).

WOW! So there is a burger under there? I was there for lunch midweek, and when I was reading the menu I got the impression that it was just a Kuma's version of a pastrami sandwich, perhaps for those who weren't in a burger mood. It's another BURGER? Ohmigod!

BTW, there is a metal band named Minsk, or did that one go right over my head, too?

Ahem.

There was no burger on the Minsk when my dining companion had it last week, but maybe they're spicing things up.

I'm waiting for the Slaughterhouse, which will have pastrami, pulled pork, hamburger, bacon, pancetta, a hot dog, a polish, a bratwurst, grilled Isaan, a whole bone-in Shui Wah duck, foie gras, and sausage country gravy.

Santander wrote:There was no burger on the Minsk when my dining companion had it last week, but maybe they're spicing things up.

I'm waiting for the Slaughterhouse, which will have pastrami, pulled pork, hamburger, bacon, pancetta, a hot dog, a polish, a bratwurst, grilled Isaan, a whole bone-in Shui Wah duck, foie gras, and sausage country gravy.

On a bed of fries with the frizzled onions on top? And cheese, glorious cheese. Mmmmmmm...

Yeah, I hope the Goblin Cock doesn't portend a bunch of burgers built on overkill. What I like about the ones I like (starting with the Kuma burger) is that they balance a few things very adroitly. If you just want to pig out, there's a Burger King close by.

There was no burger on the Minsk when my dining companion had it last week, but maybe they're spicing things up.

You could be right. I didn't see anyone who had ordered it last night, and I'm simply assuming there's a burger on it since it was on the burger side of the menu. I'm not sure how well pastrami would work with a burger anyhow.

Mike G wrote:Yeah, I hope the Goblin Cock doesn't portend a bunch of burgers built on overkill. What I like about the ones I like (starting with the Kuma burger) is that they balance a few things very adroitly. If you just want to pig out, there's a Burger King close by.

You are not forced to order the Goblin Cock (or any of the other burgers), so don't worry if you're sqeamish. The good 'ole Kuma Burgewr is still available.

YoYoPedro wrote:BTW, there is a metal band named Minsk, or did that one go right over my head, too?

Oy Vey, you learn something new every day. Thousands of old school Catskill comedians are probably spinning in their graves.

I'm not sure how well pastrami would work with a burger anyhow.

It's delicious, if it a bit overwhelming. The only one have ever seen/eaten is the eponymous apollo burger.

Apollo Burger
13 S York Rd
Bensenville, IL

Mike G wrote:Yeah, I hope the Goblin Cock doesn't portend a bunch of burgers built on overkill. What I like about the ones I like (starting with the Kuma burger) is that they balance a few things very adroitly. If you just want to pig out, there's a Burger King close by.

Hmm. I understand what you are saying and I love the Kuma burger. And although it balances its flavors quite adroitly, wouldn't you say that bacon, cheese and an egg on top of a half pound of beef isn't already sort of built on overkill? If I wasn't in the mood to pig out, I wouldn't head to Kuma's that day. But there is such a big difference between a Kuma's pigout and a B-K pigout. Such a wonderful difference...

Just called to confirm: The Minsk does indeed have a burger underneath the reuben.

me3dia wrote:Just called to confirm: The Minsk does indeed have a burger underneath the reuben.

They are going to have to start to institute a plate sharing charge.

Guys, there is very solid precedent for a burger like the Minsk--

The Crown Burger, from Crown Burgers of Salt Lake City, is a local institution. I was in SLC early this month and sought one out based on ExtraMSG's long-ago tout. My belly didn't feel great after I wolfed it down, but I had to do it.

ExtraMSG was correct, it's one hell of a burger. Like a Big Baby piled high with surprisingly very falvorful and tender pastrami.

PS, like Steve, I am a fan of the Zoso. There is a time and place for excess, and excess does not have to taste bad. See also: Philly's $100 cheesesteak.

I've seen pastrami burgers advertised in LA, is that what they're like? Or is that a ground pastrami-meat patty?

although it balances its flavors quite adroitly, wouldn't you say that bacon, cheese and an egg on top of a half pound of beef isn't already sort of built on overkill?

No, I'd say it defines the difference between excess and overkill.

The LA pastrami burger often has a stringy microed pastrami on a burger. But it is the same idea. This combo seems to be a typical Greek diner and hamburger stand item out West. (Crown Burger is like a Greek diner-meets-burger joint with a bunch of stuff like souvlaki on the board.) Pink's has a pastrami-on-hotdog item also, I believe.

Great time as always at Kuma's. First we had a few drinks at the bar.

(L-R) Steve Z, Kristina, Crrush, KennyZ, Jesteinf, Nelson, MsWiv, Whiskeybent.


Then Whiskeybent gave Mike, owner of Kuma's, their well deserved GNR

Mike, Whiskeybent


A round of appetizers was ordered for the table, BBQ Pork Fries and Mac and Cheese. They've slightly changed the the Mac and Cheese, it seems a bit thicker and now gets a run under the broiler and I vastly prefer the current version to past.

Kuma's Mac and Cheese


Yes, ok, I admit it, I ordered the Goblin Cock, overkill, yes, absolutely, delicious, surprisingly so.

Goblin Cock


I attribute my enjoyment of the Goblin Cock to quality of ingredients, for example they use a 4 to the lb natural casing Vienna hot dog, attention to detail, the pico de gallo is made with hot dog relish, onion and tomato and the mustard has a light addition of celery salt and balance of ingrediants, in a nothing says excess like excess fashion.

Matt (chef) and Jacob (sous chef) nailed the egg on the Kuma Burger.

Kuma Burger


Jacob Greene (Sous Chef), Matt Erpenbach (Chef)


Steve Z's Led Zeppelin, with pulled pork, bacon, cheddar and pickles treads dangerously into Goblin Cock overkill territory.

Led Zeppelin


In one of those little touches that elevates Kuma's from typical bar food dessert consisted of Caramel Pecan Gelato with house made Truffle Brownie. I liked the brownie, but was wild about the Caramel Pecan Gelato.

Caramel Pecan Gelato with house made Truffle Brownie.


Even in the face of a very busy night service was quite good, prompt, friendly with the typical Kuma's flair.

Rose (bartender), Kati, Becki


Coincidentally, Whiskeybent called the GNR dinner for my favorite Kuma's night, Tuesday, $2 shots of Powers. Here's Alex, Kuma's hyper efficient manager, breaking out another bottle.

Alex


A very nice LTH evening at Kuma's, great nomination Whiskeybent. For a few additional pictures please click here and scroll to 10.30.07

Enjoy,
Gary