Lousy Halloween Candy

A small, highly unscientific poll at the office reveals that the lamest, most dreadful thing to get thrown in your trick-or-treat bag is loose candy corn. Other examples cited (also in the loose/unwrapped category) were circus peanuts and jelly beans.

Striking gold: full or king-sized candy bars.

Don't forget the generic black and orange wrapped peanut chews

Lame:

Bubble/chewing gum sticks
Recycled starbright mints (like you get with the checks)
Jelly packages
Most fruit
Recycled candy (what your Mom did not allow you to keep)

Excellent:

Wendy's free coupons for frosties
Money, especially the folding kind
Bags of potato chips
Full sized anything


Really lame (and deserving of a soaping):

People who would send out ALL of their kids for trick or treating but who would not give out anything ...

http://i-mockery.com/minimocks/hallowee ... candy5.php

(note: there are four pages before this one, use the link at the bottom of the page or just change the number at candy5 to candy4, etc.)

I don't know why I never see these in the loot mix. I'd love to be given a Count Wonkula's Bloodberry Donut(z).

I'm with you on the candycorn. I think the worst offender, however, is the one smartass in every neighborhood who passes out toothbrushes.

Very lame:
Teenagers trick-or-treating without a costume (see also: season 2, episode 13, "Curb Your Enthusiasm").


Very cool adult activity:
Trick-or-treating with a shot glass.

Lamest halloween hand-outs:

popcorn balls
mary janes
now & laters

=R=

I've been on record before about the "sickos" who slip boxes of raisins into Halloween bags in the name of healthfulness.

So, raisins would be my least favorite Halloween "candy."

My second least favorite would be Three Musketeers bars.

I cannot be the only one here who actually loves the orange and black-wrapped peanut butter chews, can I???!!! I always used to take those from my friends. I also love mary janes and bit o honey, which means halloween was always very good to me.

Raisins, on the other hand, are almost as bad as pennies.

Another bad one -- loose pieces of saltwater taffy leftover from the summer at the shore. Saltwater taffy has to be fresh to be edible, otherwise, it's like trying to bite down on a 2x4.

Do people even give out anything un-wrapped or loose or unwrappable these days? Couldn't the neighborhood sickos have, I dunno, dipped the loose candy corn in rat poison or something?

leek wrote:Do people even give out anything un-wrapped or loose or unwrappable these days? Couldn't the neighborhood sickos have, I dunno, dipped the loose candy corn in rat poison or something?

I suppose they could have done that just as easily as they slipped razor blades into candy, too.

Also on the vomitocious list:
French burnt peanuts

I agree with Flip,

those orange and balck wrapped candies were the worst back in the day, but at least it was candy...

The only thing possible worse were the people who passed out fruit, or homemade items to the kids.

They payed the price later with some eggs, or t.p. being applied to their houses.

the worst in my memory, even worse than the dentist who gave out toothbrushes, was my neighbor who gave out Jack Chick bible tracts

I find that slices of over-the-hill headcheese thrown into the first few bags will keep the rest of the little beggars away until next year...
(No worse than the afore-mentioned circus peanuts, which are clearly the phosphorescent turds of Beelzebub.)

So, raisins would be my least favorite Halloween "candy."

I agree, even if the raisins are covered in chocolate they don't do much for me (although those candy peanuts are pretty horrendous).

stewed coot wrote:. . . circus peanuts, which are clearly the phosphorescent turds of Beelzebub.

LMAO!

=R=

Hi,

Bazooka Bubble Gum is the pits.

Prize candy: Heath bars, though Almond Joy or Mounds aren't too shabby.

Regards,

the worst in my memory, even worse than the dentist who gave out toothbrushes, was my neighbor who gave out Jack Chick bible tracts

The kids of the preacher at the end of my block were put on the front porch with orders to hand out anti-Halloween tracts last year. They were very unenthusiastic about it, and managed to strike up conversations and conveniently forget to pass them out every time that I saw.

those orange and balck wrapped candies were the worst back in the day, but at least it was candy...

I'm big on nostalgia/early 20th century brands that have managed to hang on, but I have to admit that hard, gummy candy in waxed paper of that sort was tainted forever by all the years that I only had that left after eating the brand name chocolate bars first. Sorry, Black Cow, Mary Jane, etc.

Prize candy: Heath bars, though Almond Joy or Mounds aren't too shabby.

Since I choose candy based on what I want to have left over, I've often bought Mounds, but this year my 6-year-old got to pick, so I don't know what the hell we have. Probably better for me if I don't want it afterwards anyway.

Cathy2 wrote:Hi,

Bazooka Bubble Gum is the pits.

Prize candy: Heath bars, though Almond Joy or Mounds aren't too shabby.

Regards,

In my house, you'd be called "one of those* people"

*Someone who would actually eat a Mounds or Almond Joy.

You would have gotten ALL of mine, and I would have taken a two to one Bazooka to Almond Joy/Mounds trade with no problem. And if you played your cards right, and pretended to not like Almond Joy/Mounds all that much, I would have probably conceded to a 1:1 trade.

YUCK!

My pots o' gold:
1. Fresh Twizzlers
2. Fresh Kit Kats
3. Snickers
4. Fresh Dots
5. Blow Pops
6. Chuckles
7. Swedish fish packets
8. Good & Fruity / Mike and Ike's
9. Dove or Ghirardelli minis


Lame List:
1. Charleston Chews. did they scientifically remove the flavor?
1A. Mini Hershey's Special Dark (chocolate flavored wax)
2. Off brand red licorice. Sorry, generic red licorice ALWAYS tastes like soap to me.
3. Pennies
4. Of course, per above, the coconut candy bars (until you find someone who likes 'em so you can trade!)
5. Mini Tootsie Rolls (although they usually come in the same bag with DOTS)
6. The Ferrara Pan little cinnamon things (name escapes me)
7. Smarties. (novelty wears off after a few rolls)

Finally, a topic I have some first hand knowledge of--says she who only gets into the city two or three times a year and has a growing list of places to try..

So to quote Wayne Campbell:

Ex-cellent (and yes, bonus for full size)
-Kit Kats
-Mounds bars
-Almond Joys
-Bazooka bubble gum
-Tootsie Pops (anything but chocolate)
-Bit 'o' Honey

If you gonna spew, spew into this..

-Dubble Bubble gum
-Smarties
-Candy corn
-Tootsie Rolls..especially the hideous non 'chocolatey' flavors
-Chocolate Tootsie Pops
-Necco Wafers
-BB Bat 'suckers'
-Milk Duds (the name is *so* apropos!)
-Root Beer Barrels
-Pennies

I just bought a jumbo variety pack at the Target for my students tomorrow and came upon the Hersheys mini Take 5 bar. Has anyone ever had this? It's pretty darn impressive--I may have to take all of the Take 5s out of my Halloween pail and keep them for myself

By the way, a Take 5 includes a variety of tasty treats, including chocolate, pretzels, caramel, peanuts, and peanut butter. *sigh* Off to eat another...

Sharona

Sharona wrote:...the Hersheys mini Take 5 bar. Has anyone ever had this? It's pretty darn impressive

I agree! and just when you thought they couldn't possibly think up a new candy bar idea and have it actually be good!

seebee wrote:

Cathy2 wrote:Hi,

Bazooka Bubble Gum is the pits.

Prize candy: Heath bars, though Almond Joy or Mounds aren't too shabby.

Regards,

In my house, you'd be called "one of those* people"

*Someone who would actually eat a Mounds or Almond Joy.

heh. I was the only kid in the neighborhood who actually liked Mounds, Almond Joy*, Special Dark and Good n Plenty (and other forms of black licorice) So I was able to trade away my lame candies pretty easily.

*edited to add: I loved and still love coconut, but high on my lame candy list is the hated ZAGNUT! ugh. there's not even any chocolate involved. what's the point?

I'll take all of your Bazookas.

Bit-O-Honey's and those candies made with sesame seeds were the worst. Mary Janes are nasty too. (And I am pretty sure it was the evil dentist in our neighborhood who gave out these filling pullers to increase business.)

And I'd trade my Mounds or Hersey's dark chocolates for smarties. But then I'm one who loves tootsie rolls of any flavor, and, I know I'll get ridiculed by food people for admitting this, white chocolate.

Obviously us old folks have subjective tastes, but a more important question is - what do the kids hate?

This is an important question for me, since whatever I buy for the kids, I am really buying for myself (snickers, reese's, payday's) and would like some sort of 'deterrent' candy, since kids these days use some sort of network combining text messaging, twitter.com and GPS to tell each other where to go. So ask your kids this question.

Another lame thing that I encountered in Cleveland was TWENTYSOMETHINGS who showed up an hour after the kids wanting to join in on the fun ...

My firm put out a bowl of candy for Halloween this afternoon . . . it's filled to the brim with about almost every type of lousy candy listed here . . . Dots? Check. Mary Janes? Check. Unspecified orange wrapped candy? Check. Ah, the benefits of working for big law, I guess . . .

Very cool adult activity:
Trick-or-treating with a shot glass.[/quote]

Great idea! Maybe NOW my boyfriend will take me trick-or-treating!
Did anybody get Tootsie Pops covered in Kleenex, secured with ribbon, and decorated with two black dots to resemble little ghosts? I miss those guys. Those black-and-orange crap drops were the worst, but I passed them on to my dad. And Mounds are FAN-TAS-TIC. In fact, I bought a bag this year and saved some for myself (although I do that every year, but with many bags of candy).
Where do you people live that you're getting full size candy bars?
I didn't mind the bags of pennies. I thought it was kinda sweet. They would always be wrapped in Kleenex too. God bless the old folks.
And the coupons for free McD's or Wendy's...oh boy, that was the stuff. I miss the good o' days.

My friend just told me he used to drop condiment packets into the kids bags. I might have laughed as a kid if I got a packet of duck sauce, but if I had gotten a ketchup packet, I would have gone back to that house with a pallette of toilet paper.