One thing I have always had success with is using the wine from the region.
If you are cooking Italian, drink Italian wine. For years I tried to pair reds with Sauerbraten, and the best was a German Kabinett Riesling or an Alsatian Riesling.
Generally, the spicier the foods the lighter the wine. Hot curries are too spicy for reds, so use Sauv. Blanc with some fruit on it (like New Zealand's).
Other wines to try with spicy food are Gruner Veltliners.
You may be able to get away with a Rose if you have to have red. And sometimes wine just doesn't work, so with spicy stuff I have had good luck with sweeter Belgian beers.
I find that if I grill stuff, Zinfandel from California or Shiraz from Australia work well.