David Hammond wrote:
When I taught an online writing class, one of the assignments was to write a classification essay and one of the topics was "Types of Customers." Many of my students worked in service-type industries, like restaurants, and I was appalled that almost all created taxonomies of customers suggested a range that went from something like Stupid to something like Monstrous. It's possible the student writers were exaggerating for comic effect (or that they worked in places that may attract such a clientele), but based on this admittedly anecdotal experience, I have come to believe that many servers out there find the public to be boorish at best.

This is interesting. Perhaps the server’s characterizations of customers in such harsh terms was a psychological compensation – a way of taking back some power and control in a situation that is characterized by a great deal of uncertainty and subservience.

Being a server can be very challenging and demeaning. Hourly wages are negligible; tips are the name of the game. One’s pay can fluctuate considerably based on the whims and preferences of customers. Success, measured in tips, depends to a large extent on how much people like you and those people are constantly changing. One can try to give good service in all the objective measures, but for servers it often feels like people tip based largely on very subjective impressions. Also, there are so many factors that are out of a server’s control – the quality of the food, the speed of the kitchen, the mood of the diner, the diner’s ideas about what is appropriate for tipping, the diner’s preferences for style of service (chatty, aloof, formal, groveling, friendly, invisible). And, unfortunately, some people really get into the power trip of being served by another person and can behave in fairly obnoxious, abusive, or thoughtless ways. I don’t think those customers are the norm (at least they weren’t when I was a server) but it only takes a minority to create an impression.

Given these uncertainties and the behavior that is necessary to constantly “suck up” to customers, I did notice that there is a strong temptation to objectify the customers, to create a psychological distance between the servers and the customers and to try to "turn the tables" in terms of power relations - and this seemed like a defensive gesture or coping mechanism. That objectification ranged from condescension to outright contempt, though not usually expressed directly to customers. (Although there are always the legendary stories of servers confronting rude or non-tipping customers, those seemed to be more wish fulfillment than reality.) It also could lead to the unfortunate tendency to stereotype customers (perhaps as a way to find some predictability and patterns in the seemingly random data of tip amounts).

Perhaps our OP is one of those unhappy servers rather than an unhappy owner or chef since, presumably, chefs or owners would like more "suckers" to eat out?

David Hammond wrote:......When I taught an online writing class, one of the assignments was to write a classification essay and one of the topics was "Types of Customers." Many of my students worked in service-type industries, like restaurants, and I was appalled that almost all created taxonomies of customers suggested a range that went from something like Stupid to something like Monstrous. It's possible the student writers were exaggerating for comic effect (or that they worked in places that may attract such a clientele), but based on this admittedly anecdotal experience, I have come to believe that many servers out there find the public to be boorish at best.

As someone who previously worked in both front and back of house positions in a not so fine dining and also a few fine dining establishments, I can certainly understand your estimation of your students' beliefs. For every 10 normal customers there is that one who negates all that was right and good from the previous 10. This is the case day in, and day out. There is always some wak job who is totally clueless about eating in a restaurant, or is clueless about how to express their issue to another human being. I'll bet this forum could start an endless thread about experiences from service industry workers dealing with just absolute nightmarish customers. I know I could write a small book. I once was yelled at because a patron's "pan seared sushi grade fatty toro served medium rare" was actually served medium rare. The gentleman stood up in the middle of the restaurant and asked me in a very loud voice if I was "trying to kill him by serving him undercooked fish." That is not an exaggeration at ALL.

A very smart man once told me:
"You are extremely lucky to have been brought up by people with brains and also have friends who have been raised by people who have brains. You have the luxury of not even being able to comprehend how stupid a lot of people are." I find this statement more and more true as the years pass by. Call me ignorant if you want, but I don't even WANT to know:

Why people use apostrophes these days to show pluralism. I once saw a street sign in Denver Colorado that read, "No Left Turn's"

Why if your items total $1.62 at a store, and you give the clerk $2.12, they have no clue why you gave them 12 cents.

Why I was in line at a grocery store yesterday, and there was a huge clearance display clearly stating what exact item was being clearanced, yet person after person could not figure out which item it was, and constanttly asked the sales clerk at the register.

I'm going to assume that some people do not even have the SLIGHTEST of clues about the absurdity that runs rampant among customers in restaurants, bars, or other service oriented business situations. I'm not talking about the normal service requests, either. I'm talking about the stuff like:

"There's too much ice in my scotch on the rocks, and I didn't drink it fast enough, and now it's kind of watery. This is unacceptable, and I don't think I should pay for it".

I also got this one once: "I asked you to chill this Sambucca with ice in a shaker, and pour four shots of it for my friends and me. I can't light them on fire. You watered these shots down, didn't you?!" Um, moron, you ASKED me to water them down!!

"I forgot my doggy bag a few days ago - and you didn't save it? Get me the manager at ONCE!"

"Vidalia onion is never this sweet! Take this dish away."

"These raspberries have not been pitted. I cannot eat this."

"I'm allergic to nuts. Can the pistachio crusted salmon be prepared differently?

"I'm watching my weight. Can they prepare the slice of {insert dessert here} with a sugar substitue?"

Some people tend to lose their minds when eating out, and I'll bet you any amt of money if you start a thread about customer encounters such as above, you'd be astonished beyond your wildest dreams at how mind bogglingly silly some people are, and how much this happens on a regular basis, leaving servers like your students with very lasting impressions on just exactly HOW boorish some follks are.

Comradelaura - I do see how "taking the power back" could be an assumption, but in my examples, I'm just stating facts. Facts are facts. This stuff happened. It was real. I can't slant it how I want to. The words I used actually came out of peoples' mouths - not mine.

I always try to be as nice as possible to people in food service because my short stints at a Cock Robin and an Einstein Bagels were pretty traumatic. I worked at Einstein's as a freshman college student in Evanston, and the customers--the majority, my fellow students--were really unpleasant, even boorish on a few occasions. The customers there made that by far the most demeaning job I've ever held--OK, they were awful--and I've held my share of wacky, random, dirty jobs to make extra cash.

leek wrote:I've been in 2 different service sort of professions - I taught school, and I do tech support (internal to our department). When I taught, at an expensive private school, I definitely got rudeness from parents and students. A strong sense of "I'm paying xxx for this, and you'd better deliver." As a tech support person, my customers don't have much of an option to go elsewhere but I do find them very kind, understanding, and even when frustrated, for the most part they are appreciative. There is no money being exchanged, as there might be if I worked for the central University computer group, or if I worked for Best Buy and someone went there with their personal computer.

However, as mindful as I am of the difficult work of people in food service, I am nicest to IT people. I somehow get myself into lots of IT messes ("You're just a very good tester," my relatives in IT tell me) and always get to know IT support people very well. They're people with immense patience. Besides being extra polite and lavishing thanks, I've been known in my current job, more than occasionally, to bring cookies and coffee to the IT support folks after the fact to show my gratitude (and help ensure that they'll come help me when my next crisis arises!).

Some people tend to lose their minds when eating out, and I'll bet you any amt of money if you start a thread about customer encounters such as above, you'd be astonished beyond your wildest dreams at how mind bogglingly silly some people are, and how much this happens on a regular basis, leaving servers like your students with very lasting impressions on just exactly HOW boorish some follks are.

very true indeed. in fact, there are whole entire websites full of them. perhaps they, like this one, are filled with "random" "invalid" opinions, but they're still pretty entertaining to read, as was your post above.

here's a good one:

The Stained Apron

i read on that site periodically. lots of yuks. also sometimes, as a restaurateur, reading there teaches me a thing or two.

Lol Happy_stomach!!

I'm expected to support my code when needed in my profession. I can't tell you how many times some end user will preface their complaint with:

"I've been using this software for years, so I know what I'm doing. Don't start with the easy stuff, I've done everything."

I will usually start the conversation with: "I am happy you feel that way. I wrote the software you are using, and will be able to pinpoint the root of any issue you have with my software within 3 minutes if you answer my questions. Let me know when you are ready to start..." I'd say 7 out of 10 times the issue is resolved by the other person apologizing for not using it correctly, or for overlooking a simple detail. I bet that for the most part, I start off sounding like an absolute "pri*k," but when you know your stuff inside and out, people think - oh, he's really not a pri*k, he's just trying to get me straightened out as fast as possible. I always leave them with my phone number/email addy as well, and for the most part, after the fact, I get emails and phone msgs of extreme praise. I realize that most people are frustrated by the time a technical issue gets thrown on my desk, because for the most part, if these technical issues were not weeded out, then I would be wasting time with people who were not sure how the cd was supposed to be inserted into their pc since the cd tray only has a coffee holder in it. Like I've said upthread - if you're not familiar with these professions, you'd be absolutely STUNNED at the idiocy that runs rampant. Get a doctor drunk, and just ask him/her to tell you stories about weird patients. It's just riveting. Lawyers. Same thing. Ask a server. Same thing. Bartender. Same. I can't tell you how many times I've walked in on couples trying to have sex in the bathroom in a posh restaurant I worked at. I once walked up to a booth to check if a couple was ready to order, and saw the gentleman's arm WELL up the dress of his d/c who was verbally making sounds of 'enjoyment' full on in public, and then stayed and had dinner like nothing happened while other diners were CLEARLY aware of what happened. I have plenty more graphic stories as well that are far too bold for this forum.

A lot of this may well explain why it's quite difficult to experience good service. If the general public is indeed viewed as boorish by a large % of servers, they may well be providing lackluster service across the board at least partially based on this view, and from dealing with the rotten apples.
I am nowhere near demanding or difficult as a customer, have been in the business awhile, and at the end of most dining experiences, hardly ever have much good to say about the service to fellow diners. (Although I almost never mention anything, or reduce a 20% tip) I should clarify that I have no trouble at low-priced eateries, and am talking about places at the level of, say, $18-$28 an entree.
Anyway, as far as the OP-somebody, somewhere down the line in his life, must have urinated quite heavily in his cheerios.

Jazzfood wrote:Among the best meals of my life was an all tofu kiaseki meal in Kyoto. Not to be believed.

Apologies for the slight tangent, but I just returned from Kyoto and had the identical experience. Has anyone found anything in Chicago (restaurants or markets) that could come close to the quality and variety of the Tofu (cotton, silken, skin, etc...) found in Kyoto?

seebee wrote:Bartender. Same. I can't tell you how many times I've walked in on couples trying to have sex in the bathroom in a posh restaurant I worked at. I once walked up to a booth to check if a couple was ready to order, and saw the gentleman's arm WELL up the dress of his d/c who was verbally making sounds of 'enjoyment' full on in public, and then stayed and had dinner like nothing happened while other diners were CLEARLY aware of what happened. I have plenty more graphic stories as well that are far too bold for this forum.

...and people are asking me where I've been eating!

My comment on the rude public has taken this thread to a different but interesting turn. A few qualifiers before i weigh in again:

I started working in the service industry at 14. I started as a busboy in a large, heavily drinking chicago bar. I then moved up to a bar back, and then when i got big enough (literally), i was a bouncer at 17. ironic to have a 17 year old checking IDs, i know.

My brother has a decade of bartending experience - all of those years either being a full-time or part-time bartender (and still is). My other brother has more than a decade in the bar industry as a bar back-tender- and then manager.

almost every single friend of mine either works at or owns a bar/restaurant because at 14, working at a bar, thats who you meet and stay friends with.

Having said that - being in a bar or restaurant during most of my highschool nights and many nights thereafter, most people can be categorized very easily.

Many are thoughtless, rude people that seriously don't realize that you're an actual human being serving them. No exaggeration.

Seebee hit the nail on the head with his post. Although some of the examples he gave are the end result of poor education (which i will never judge), many of the examples are the end result of lack of courtesy and consideration - which i will judge and label the person as an asshole. This group of people - ask any server - represents the slight majority of customers.

The other group is the group of people that are just courteous and nice. they may not know the ins and outs of the bar/restaurant operations, but at least they treat others with respect. This group of people represents the slight minority.

The last group of people are the customers that you see the servers and tenders talking to during slow times. They are "industry" and they dislike the general public as much as everyone else out there in an industry that is conquered through tips, hard work, alcohol abuse and late nights.

I'm going to assume that some people do not even have the SLIGHTEST of clues about the absurdity that runs rampant among customers in restaurants, bars, or other service oriented business situations. I'm not talking about the normal service requests, either. I'm talking about the stuff like:

"There's too much ice in my scotch on the rocks, and I didn't drink it fast enough, and now it's kind of watery. This is unacceptable, and I don't think I should pay for it".

Here here. Lets put it this way - i left the service industry because i couldn't take it anymore. I live by the golden rule exclusively, so i was tired of being the only person that seemed to think there was any merit in that. So, i decided to test my personality as a medic.

Ever hung out with a medic? We have the sickest, craziest wacky stories that you could ever hear. But every night when i'd come home at 4 am after my 3-3 shift at a level one trauma center - my brother (bartender) and roommate (bartender) could match stories of that night that were equally disheartening, sad, wacky and crazy as mine. Bartenders.

Am i an old man at 22? sometimes i feel like it. I love the people on this forum though because you guys have taste. I think my overall disdain of our general society is because of a many reasons - but one major one is taste. I don't know how people can eat at jimmy john's, then head to the bar to drink Miller Lite and then jam out to Bon Jovi because it's the only song that they heard on the radio. Where is the taste? where are their interests? What is taken seriously? What standards do these people have for anything?

/rant

djenks wrote:
The last group of people are the customers that you see the servers and tenders talking to during slow times. They are "industry" and they dislike the general public as much as everyone else out there in an industry that is conquered through tips, hard work, alcohol abuse and late nights.

I probably tend to be more in this group even though I have been out of the industry for a good 10 yrs now. I do, however, tend to enjoy restaurants MUCH more during the later seatings or off times when you can extract better info from the servers, and the chef can take a compliment and has time to reciprocate, and then if I like the place, it's so much easier to develop a repoire with the staff. I've been in their shoes, and I always try to let them know right off the bat that I'm not gonna be one of THOSE people by offering a "How's the night going so far?...Hopefully we'll make it better for you." or a "Whenever you have a second, throw in an order of X for us for an app. while we figure out what we really want. Give us like 10 -15 minutes, and we'll be cool." Sometimes, you will literally get a sigh of relief or even an out loud "Thank God you guys are cool, everyone has been a nightmare tonite." Then, that's when you see the server talking a lot with one table and laughing, telling them exactly what to order, what to stay away from, which customers are total dipshits, which customers are drunk, etc..

elakin wrote:here's a good one:

The Stained Apron

haha, lets just put it this way - if it weren't a steadfast belief among servers there wouldn't be an entire website and database dedicated to it. great link.

EDIT:man, after really diving deep into that website, there is some pretty despicable stuff on there. I share the same feelings, but not the same actions. Anything i ever did to anyone was verbal and to their face.

yeah, i agree. there are some bitter, bitter people posting on that site. i also take some of those with a large grain of salt. people like to make stuff up.

sometimes, what people think of four hours after an incident and say to themselves "what i should've said/done was....." becomes an online posting of "so i said to the guy...."

here's another employee gripe site. this one's chicago-specific:

Shameless Restaurants

Hi,

It is interesting how many choose to comment as 'guest' rather than register.

Regards,

elakin wrote:here's another employee gripe site. this one's chicago-specific:

Shameless Restaurants

Whoa. After delving into this one for a while (and a little into Stained Apron), here's my reaction:

I'm pretty sure that I'm one of the "good customers," both because I respect servers and seem to be treated with respect by them. (I can't remember the last time this didn't happen.) Yet after reading the bitter complaints on these two sites, I don't want to go out to eat anymore. Of course that's a temporary reaction and will pass, but that is my honest visceral response to reading the bile being spewed by the waiters and waitresses who post to these boards. I need to tell myself that the people who post there are not typical, but tend to be more the malcontents and "bad apples," since good people who think their jobs are wonderful might not be as motivated to post on such sites. If I let myself believe that these people are typical, I'll never want to eat in a restaurant again. It's not because I'm afraid they'll spit in my food. It's because it just isn't fun to be with people who are harboring this kind of unpleasantness inside them.

I have to wonder if some of the angry, bitter servers posting to Stained Apron and Shameless Restaurants have worked in any other kind of job. In every job in every field, one will encounter bosses and managers whom one imagines oneself doing a better job than, and in every job in every field one will encounter clients who behave "unreasonably" by one's definition. It's called working. And in every job in every field, the best route to success and happiness is making oneself indispensible. I can forgive most of the posters on SA and SR for not knowing this, because no doubt most of them are very young. For their sakes, I hope they learn this fact of life before too much time passes.

riddlemay wrote:

elakin wrote:here's another employee gripe site. this one's chicago-specific:

Shameless Restaurants

Whoa. After delving into this one for a while (and a little into Stained Apron), here's my reaction:

I'm pretty sure that I'm one of the "good customers," both because I respect servers and seem to be treated with respect by them. (I can't remember the last time this didn't happen.) Yet after reading the bitter complaints on these two sites, I don't want to go out to eat anymore. Of course that's a temporary reaction and will pass, but that is my honest visceral response to reading the bile being spewed by the waiters and waitresses who post to these boards. I need to tell myself that the people who post there are not typical, but tend to be more the malcontents and "bad apples," since good people who think their jobs are wonderful might not be as motivated to post on such sites. If I let myself believe that these people are typical, I'll never want to eat in a restaurant again. It's not because I'm afraid they'll spit in my food. It's because it just isn't fun to be with people who are harboring this kind of unpleasantness inside them.

I have to wonder if some of the angry, bitter servers posting to Stained Apron and Shameless Restaurants have worked in any other kind of job. In every job in every field, one will encounter bosses and managers whom one imagines oneself doing a better job than, and in every job in every field one will encounter clients who behave "unreasonably" by one's own definition. It's called working. And in every job in every field, the best route to success and happiness is making oneself indispensible. I can forgive most of the posters on SA and SR for not knowing this, because no doubt most of them are very young. For their sakes, I hope they learn this fact of life before too much time passes.

You'll do well to note that many of these people are unemployed.

elakin wrote:here's another employee gripe site. this one's chicago-specific:

Shameless Restaurants

I'm really intrigued what people on this site consider an "acceptable" tip. "5. TIPPING: It's not 1960. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. We'll break it down for you....just look at the tax line and multiply by 3-4, this gives you your minimum tip amount." With Chicago's sales tax at around 10%, this poster thinks the minimum should be 30%-40% tip.

riddlemay wrote:I need to tell myself that the people who post there are not typical, but tend to be more the malcontents and "bad apples," since good people who think their jobs are wonderful might not be as motivated to post on such sites. If I let myself believe that these people are typical, I'll never want to eat in a restaurant again. It's not because I'm afraid they'll spit in my food. It's because it just isn't fun to be with people who are harboring this kind of unpleasantness inside them.

If I had to guess, I would say you have never worked in a restaurant or bar. I'm telling you, people have absolutely NO IDEA about the numbers of totally clueless customers who simply complain about the most inane things. It sounds as if you are one of the lucky people who have been brought up by decent people. I would assume also that all the stories of spitting in people's food etc, are not typical, but anyone who has spent some time in the food service industry would probably understand a little more exactly WHY a server would think about "tampering" with someone's food. I do not condone doing that in any way, but much like Chris Rock used to say in his act, "I understand it." Again, if you have never worked in the FS industry, you will never understand just how many ppl are complete jerks day in and day out. You just don't see the half of it. Yes, if you have to deal with customers in other industries, it happens as well, but for some reason, if you are making drinks, or carrying plates of food to some people, they view you as more of a slave than a human being. Not only are you the slave that is to tend to their every whim, but you are also the slave that didn't prepare their meal correctly, put too much vodka in their vodka on the rocks, made their soup too hot, and didn't tell the valet to have their car warmed up while they were ordering dessert. You were also the slave that didn't save the last porterhouse for them, or didn't order enough porterhouses for that night. I'm telling you, for those who have never waited tables or tended bar, you would be absolutely astonished at the abuse these people are subjected to day in and day out. It takes a thick skin to stay in the business. Of course, on the flip side, there are definitely the FS workers who are clueless as well. Try this - if you have a barkeep or server that you are fond of, one that you could never see anyone complaining about, or giving a hard time to, ask him or her if they have any nightmare customers stories. I guarantee you will hear some absolutely shocking stories. Things that will leave you with your jaw dropped.

seebee wrote:Yes, if you have to deal with customers in other industries, it happens as well, but for some reason, if you are making drinks, or carrying plates of food to some people, they view you as more of a slave than a human being. Not only are you the slave that is to tend to their every whim, but you are also the slave that didn't prepare their meal correctly, put too much vodka in their vodka on the rocks, made their soup too hot...

My own pet theory which I've had for a long time and which supports what you're saying--I think I made this up, but perhaps other minds have thought of it, too--is that the restaurant experience evokes for us an infantile state in which all our food needs were taken care of by Mommy. Other than restaurants, the last time someone took care of all our food needs without us having even to lift a finger was when Mommy did it. Restaurants are the only places that recreate this state. So naturally we equate the two experiences in the unconscious. And when something goes wrong in a restaurant, on some subconscious level it is Mommy who has disappointed us--not fed us on time, not fed us food we like, not fed us in a manner that conveys the love we crave and expect. Result: Somewhere inside, we respond to these disappointments the same way an infant does--with rage.

The difference between customers is that some people know how to put this instinctive memory in its proper place and act like grownups, and other people don't.

I accept your assertion that more people behave more badly in restaurants than they do anywhere else, and I think my theory accounts for it.

It's also the unfortunate case that the waiter is the only face of a multilayered experience; they can be doing their job perfectly but are the only person to complain to (unless you ask for a manager) if things aren't going well - which means they are held accountable for all kinds of things that are beyond their control.

I never waited tables, but I worked as a barista for quite some time, and it's exhausting. It's difficult not to dehumanize customers and take out your frustrations on them. One of the reasons I got out of it is that I found myself heading for the back room to curse more often than not. I can't blame that on the customers, many of whom were quite reasonable people - but having to keep your "happy face" on all day long is really, really tough, especially if your tendency is towards honesty.

riddlemay wrote:My own pet theory which I've had for a long time and which supports what you're saying--I think I made this up, but perhaps other minds have thought of it, too--is that the restaurant experience evokes for us an infantile state in which all our food needs were taken care of by Mommy. Other than restaurants, the last time someone took care of all our food needs without us having even to lift a finger was when Mommy did it. Restaurants are the only places that recreate this state. So naturally we equate the two experiences in the unconscious. And when something goes wrong in a restaurant, on some subconscious level it is Mommy who has disappointed us--not fed us on time, not fed us food we like, not fed us in a manner that conveys the love we crave and expect. Result: Somewhere inside, we respond to these disappointments the same way an infant does--with rage.

I have not heard that theory before, but if you made it up, congratulations: it makes a lot of sense. There are a lot of emotions attached to the table.

David Hammond wrote:I have not heard that theory before, but if you made it up, congratulations: it makes a lot of sense. There are a lot of emotions attached to the table.

Thanks. I first came to it when I noticed, just as you say, that there are a lot of emotions evoked by restaurant-dining, especially when it goes wrong. I began to wonder what could account, in particular, for the so-often disproportionate nature of people's responses in this environment. (For instance, people who have just been seated experience far greater anxiety when a waiter doesn't show up at a table for ten minutes than they would waiting for a bus for ten minutes.) And then I realized what it was.

And when something goes wrong in a restaurant, on some subconscious level it is Mommy who has disappointed us--not fed us on time, not fed us food we like, not fed us in a manner that conveys the love we crave and expect. Result: Somewhere inside, we respond to these disappointments the same way an infant does--with rage.

This certainly adds some complexity to Nelson Algren's culinary advice: "Never eat at a place called Mom's."

djenks wrote:

elakin wrote:here's a good one:

The Stained Apron

haha, lets just put it this way - if it weren't a steadfast belief among servers there wouldn't be an entire website and database dedicated to it. great link.

EDIT:man, after really diving deep into that website, there is some pretty despicable stuff on there. I share the same feelings, but not the same actions. Anything i ever did to anyone was verbal and to their face.

Yes, I've read practically everything on that site and came away with the disturbing impression that there are some servers out there who will wipe their ass with your food just because they don't like the way you look.

I have a lot of sympathy for waiters because the general public can be quite thoughtless and unreasonable when given the chance to order someone around, but I'm not totally convinced that waiters have it any worse than other service sector employees.

I used to work for our dear telephone company and endured all sorts of ridiculous requests, unreasonable demands, and abusive individuals. I was working with corporate customers, and the real rats were a minority, but boy are they out there. I won't go too far in defending the telephone company, since they do screw over their share of customers, but I eventually moved on because I couldn't stand the undeserved abuse.

I am not saying that waitstaff in general don't have their legitimate gripes, but I wonder if they are really singled out for a special level of abuse. Certainly anyone working in retail deals with the same set of whining prima-donnas (and prima-dons). As we used to say, no one ever calls because you're doing a good job. It's only when they have a problem. That said, I always find it telling to observe how someone treats waitstaff during a meal. My experience is that anyone who treats waiters like garbage is someone to watch out for and avoid if possible. Fortunately most people I have dined with have been quite civil.

HI,

I don't watch television like I used to do when I was younger. There was a time I knew the complete schedule for every channel plus the two ABC movies of the week. I see People magazine getting all lathered up over a television star and have no idea who they are now.

I do like the reality series where Mothers are exchanged into contrasting households. Last week's Mother was a dyed in the wool feminist. She exchanged households with a stage Mother cheerleading her daughter's beauty pageant lifestyle. Such polarizing differences create quite a bit of sparky situations, which I liken to feeding Christians to the lions.

The feminist Mother joined her new husband and daughter for a meal in a restaurant. The daughter was rude to the waitress with her Father beaming and new Mother shocked. When the food arrived, then the daughter began picking it apart, declaring the food was unacceptable (using current vernacular I cannot recall) and (I think) gave it back to the waitress.

The first week, the household runs as normal. The second week, the new Mother imposes her rules on the family they are obligated to follow. Upon rule reversal, the beauty Queen daughter was obligated to work as a waitress. Her first customer was the waitress she had given a hard time to the week before. The waitress-customer proceeded to mirror the beauty Queen-waitress: complicated order followed by rejecting food. The beauty Queen-waitress walked the food back to the service area, then not knowing what to do next burst into tears. Not surprising she no longer wanted to work in a restaurant. I believe she even said she would continue to be mean to the waiters as if the experience meant nothing to her.

While the update at the show's conclusion didn't include beauty Queen's restaurant behavior. I have the feeling it is not as coarse as it once was.

Regards,

wak wrote:I have a lot of sympathy for waiters because the general public can be quite thoughtless and unreasonable when given the chance to order someone around, but I'm not totally convinced that waiters have it any worse than other service sector employees.

I used to work for our dear telephone company and endured all sorts of ridiculous requests, unreasonable demands, and abusive individuals. I was working with corporate customers, and the real rats were a minority, but boy are they out there. I won't go too far in defending the telephone company, since they do screw over their share of customers, but I eventually moved on because I couldn't stand the undeserved abuse.

Excellent point, Wak. I did a college internship at Epcot in Walt Disney World and I think we saw the same level of abuse that servers did. In my three months there, three people who I worked with were slapped by guests for not giving them an answer they liked. One guest tried to spit on me for not allowing them into a restricted area to view the fireworks.

I've also waited tables at restaurants, briefly, about 13 years ago. When I was with a large chain that emphasized home cooking and had low prices, I never got a single complaint. However, when I worked at a very high end place, it seemed there was someone upset every night.

Frankly, I think it has to do with the rising costs of recreation. Restaurants, hotels, theme parks and movie theaters tend to increase their costs almost every year. People expect a lot for their recreation dollar and tend to come unglued when the situation doesn't come out in the exact way they pictured it.

I wonder if any one has done a sociological/economical study on the affect of cost of the recreation good (ie, meal at restaurant/price of theme park admission) vs. how quickly people complain.

Kim