Rockstar Dogs

Rockstar Dogs, which finally opened this afternoon after a license delay, is the culinary version of a vodka ad or maybe more appropriately the Hard Rock Cafe. A lot of money got spent trying to inject personality in to what is otherwise a mediocre overpriced commodity.

First off, there’s the stripper pole. As the second pole on the block (the other at nearby Five Star bar and Grill), Chicago Avenue suddenly has almost as many stripper poles as the Admiral theatre. It was funny the first time, but the ubiquity of stripper poles is making them the caprese salad or foam of 2008.

Then there’s ketchup and mustard painted walls plastered with an assortment of 8 x 10 glossies of goths and rockers in various states of debauched repose. My favorite might be of Iggy Pop rocking a Bull’s jersey just above the cash register. There are also a couple of guitars, and a centerpiece mural of a teensy weensy yellow bikini clad tattoo style poster girl.

The sex-laden asides don’t stop there. The menu features a Tommy Lee dog, aka the foot long, and a “Sting”, aka the tantric tofu dog. Once you place your order, Rockstar hooks you up with a guitar pic or a temporary tattoo.

I think this is kind of weak. I’d like to see a real tattoo artist handing out free tattoos to the drunken masses I expect will hit this part of Chicago Avenue after a night of throwing down Jaeger bombs. That would be total rock and roll. Here’s your Zeppelin dog…umm, can you sign this waiver?

The dogs are Vienna, the buns are Rosen’s, and the relish is standard issue alien green. For $6-8, you get a dog, fries, and a drink. There’s no a la carte option , except in the extra onion rings or Merkt’s slathered cheese fries and tots department. The Merkt’s comes off a bit chunky and grainy, and I would have preferred some fake smooth Velveeta nacho style goop in this case. The fries themselves are relatively thick cut, somewhere between a ¼” and ½”, with a heavy dose of seasoning salt. No skin on though and relatively uniform and forgettable.

They stuff the basic fries with a dog into a white cardboard box along with your drink. Wait more than 30 seconds and the steam from the dog and the fries starts heating your drink and sogging up the bun. Unlike the old McDLT, the cold does not stay cold for long.

I appreciate the grill char on the dog, but the dog was more wrinkled than a geriatric shar-pei, suggesting it had been sitting in a hot box or somewhere for a while before I got to it, same with the soggy grilled jalapenos on our “Los Lobos” dog which came wrapped in relatively smoke-free bacon. Tomato slices sported a perfect out-of -season second rate watermelon flesh hue.

At these prices and with the kitsch and “gourmet” takes on dogs including grilled jalapenos, bacon, etc, it’s impossible not to compare Rockstar to Hot Doug’s. If you get a super gourmet dog at Hot Doug’s, you’re out of the running price wise, but if you compare the basic salad dog between the places, at Doug’s you get a super fresh charred fat Vienna, slathered in the usual suspects (not to mention great caramelized onions), some of the best skin on fries in town and a drink for $4.50, a full $1.50 cheaper than the same combo at Rockstar. Not to mention you’ll get a steady dose of good music including Neko Case and the Buzzcocks while you’re chowing down.

I’m not saying this out of some foodist fan boy lust or blind nostalgia for Doug either. I went to Doug’s two days before so that I’d have an objective look at both dogs side by side. There’s just no comparison.

On the other hand, Doug’s closes at 4 p.m., and on weekends, Rockstar is open ‘til four a.m. The easy and funny line to write here, is that you should go to bed hungry and make you’re way to Hot Doug’s when you wake up with a hangover, but, the dogs at Rockstar aren’t terrible, and when you're soused, they're probably really damn good. Of course, if you make the trip boozed-up, both you and your wallet will be hammered at the end of the night.

<em>Rockstar dogs is located at 801 N. Ashland</em>

A handful of pics over at www.hungrymag.com if you're interested (sorry, guys, I'm lazy).

It was bound to happen. Doug's been sittin' on a gold mine for a long time.
Like most imitations, it likely won't be anywhere near as good as the original.
Thanks for the report.

I live right down the street from Rockstar Dogs, and I've got to say that between it and Five Star, I'm somewhat dismayed by the proliferation of the "ironic" stripper pole on Chicago Avenue.

Stripper pole or no, I don't know how long Rockstar will last - it doesn't seem like there's enough drunk foot traffic in the area, and Taco Veloz owns most of the existing market share. Also, it's owned by Dion Antic, who couldn't keep a drunk-fast-food place open a few years ago despite a central Bucktown location. (Sorry, I can't remember the name, but it was on Damen just above North.)

Also, it's owned by Dion Antic, who couldn't keep a drunk-fast-food place open a few years ago despite a central Bucktown location. (Sorry, I can't remember the name, but it was on Damen just above North.)

Was that Swank Frank's?

No, it wasn't Swank Frank's, it was Killer. I think it was open for less than a year, about 3-4 years ago.

MJN wrote:First off, there’s the stripper pole.[. . . .]

Then there’s ketchup and mustard painted walls plastered with an assortment of 8 x 10 glossies of goths and rockers in various states of debauched repose. [ . . .]

There are also a couple of guitars, and a centerpiece mural of a teensy weensy yellow bikini clad tattoo style poster girl.

As Tim Gunn would say, that's a lot of "look" for a place that seems just narrow enough for you to touch each side if you spread your arms out.

Considering this building looks like it's falling down, and the two prior incarnations, Grubber's and Ashland Grille, were not very successful (mainly because the place didn't look like somewhere you'd want to eat), I'm a little confused myself as to why the neighborhood needs a late night hot dog stand. Anyone who has walked on that side of the street between Greenview and Ashland knows that there is not a lot of walking traffic milling about that would pay that kind of money for hot dogs (especially not those stumbling out of Rothchild's liquor's tap room).

I'll probably try it; but if you want to eat something late after drinking, why not just go to La Pasadita, a little further up Ashland?

No, it wasn't Swank Frank's, it was Killer. I think it was open for less than a year, about 3-4 years ago.

He would of been better with that concept now, it was hand-formed burgers and fresh-cut fries if I remember correctly. They never held their late-night hours and were a little too north of that intersection for the late-night action. I think it was only open for about four months. I remember the food being ok.

Ah, nothing like a bad experience to bring someone out of lurking status. Not sure why that is... maybe it makes one feel better. Anyway...

If you think you should wait 10 minutes for a hot dog (after ordering), pay $6 for a regular hot dog and then not get what you ordered, then this is the place to go.

Also if you get it to go, they put your soda in a box with the dog and fries, guaranteeing that it's ice cold in 5 minutes.

I don't know why someone would think style over substance would trump something as elemental as a hot dog.

Fundamentals people.

I personally think that Rockstar Dogs is awesome! I give him kudos for opening a new spot in an area that could use some new restaurants. Sure, they are open late night, but I don't really see this as soley a "late night" spot. I've gone during the day for lunch. The dogs are good and original. Toppings I have never thought of are available and it is trendy and fun! Try it!!!!

I sampled rockstar dogs after the Kansas/NC game on Sat night. The place was empty.

I had a standard chicago style dog, i forget what they call it. I also ordered a side of tater tots as i didnt realize that my order came with fries. I asked for the dog with the works after i confirmed that meant no ketchup and raw onions. (i was not taking any chances) Everything cost $8.00.

Hands down the worst dog i have had in recent memory. The entire thing was a soggy mess. The bun did not hold up to the overabundance of condiments stuffed aboard and fell apart. No Vienna snap. Mies Van De Rohe once said "less is more." Rockstar should heed his words when it comes to condiment usage.

I also hated the fries and tater tots because they were salted with celery salt. I dont care for celery salt on fries. i am not sure if this was intentional or a mistake because i took the whole package to my car to eat before i realized what had happened. One thing i will mention is that the fries were crispy and not overly greasy. They do not appear to be hand cut.

Overall, a better hotdog experience can be had at home depot on North Avenue. C-

Let the debate continue on wheter or not this place would have or will make it. I still haven't been but they are opening a second location in LP on Armitage right across the street from gamekeepers bar. This seems like a better location with a few 4am bars right next to it.