Tiniest/most uncomfortable chairs in Chicago?

Hi

In my ongoing effort to live better by eating better, I am searching for restaurants & bars in Chicago (& surrounding areas) that have small, uncomfortable chairs. My theory is that if I sit at a table with a small, uncomfortable chair, or at a bar with a small, uncomfortable barstool, I will not linger as long and will thereby cut my time at said table/bar, thereby cutting the amount of time I have to eat, thereby cutting my food intake, and thereby cutting my calories! (I may soon be writing a book on this new diet - I'll call it The Small Seat Diet. Get it?? Get it? "Small seat"? It works both ways! )

Of course, this will only work if I can resist the temptation to wolf the food/drink down before my ass starts aching...but I figure it's worth a shot!

I'd start with Avec at 615 W. Randolph. It doesn't get much more uncomfortable. I'm not sure you'll eat less here, but you won't linger.

deesher wrote:I'd start with Avec at 615 W. Randolph. It doesn't get much more uncomfortable. I'm not sure you'll eat less here, but you won't linger.

I agree that Avec has the most uncomfortable seating of any restaurant I can recall. However, the OP asked for "small, uncomfortable chairs", and I don't think you can call anything there a "chair". At the bar, you've got hard wooden bar stools with minimal horizontal area and no back whatsoever. At the tables (8-tops), you have a choice of hard wooden bench seating along the wall, or... well, I would refer to them as boxes, rather than chairs, if you're not along the wall; they're really just a plain wooden box you're sitting on, without a back or legs. Of course, Avec's defenders will be quick to point out that you can ask for their optional cushions, which are about as thin as a well-made crepe.

As Phil Vettel said in his review in the Tribune:

Phil Vettel wrote:Chairs and barstools have no backs--zero--so if back support is an issue, sit on the wood banquette spanning the outer wall and BYOB (bring your own bolster). And a note to those who favor super low-rise jeans: Backless chairs are not necessarily the best place for those pants. I spent one dinner with a straight-ahead view of a woman whose pants were two inches shy of modesty; no doubt she would be scandalized to know we were on such visually intimate terms.

Bluebird's chairs at their bar suck.

nsxtasy wrote:[I agree that Avec has the most uncomfortable seating of any restaurant I can recall. However, the OP asked for "small, uncomfortable chairs", and I don't think you can call anything there a "chair". .

Oh, chairs, boxes, whatever! As long as I can perch my fluffy behind on it, it doesn't really matter what you call it.

You say you've always wanted to sit between two birchwood paddles lashed together with rebar?

Get thee to Chipotle. Your chiropractor will thank you.

http://flickr.com/photos/earthshine-design/1956603151/

violet on southport

Wow. I posted this as an April Fools Joke. I am surpised to find that there are actually that many establishments catering to the tiny derrierred.

WTF is that all about?

upstairs at Mirai Sushi

Liz in Norwood Park wrote:Wow. I posted this as an April Fools Joke. I am surpised to find that there are actually that many establishments catering to the tiny derrierred.

WTF is that all about?

Never underestimate the power of LTH to obsess over even the most minute detail.

I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

I don't think its minute...the comfort factor is of great importance to me.

I hate going to a bar/restaurant & feeling uncomfortable while I'm sitting.

teatpuller wrote:I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

Alinea . . . they're built specifically for the mission.

Definitely agree about Avec; horrible seating for my plump rump.

=R=

teatpuller wrote:I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

Well, at the excellent Sunday brunch recently at Between in Wicker Park, I noticed that some of the tables have big overstuffed couches rather than chairs. They're probably very comfortable for sitting/lounging, but maybe less so for eating; leaning over a coffee table to eat seems like it would be less comfortable than conventional chairs at a table at conventional dining height (which is where we ate).

When seating is exceptionally comfortable, you're probably a lot less likely to notice it and remember it than when it's exceptionally uncomfortable.

teatpuller wrote:Who has the most comfortable chairs?

they dont serve food or a particularly refreshing selection of beers - but it's my watering hole and home to absolutely the most comfortable bar stools i've sat on......

Four Treys Bar
3333. N Damen
dog friendly

ronnie_suburban wrote:

teatpuller wrote:I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

Alinea . . . they're built specifically for the mission.

Definitely agree about Avec; horrible seating for my plump rump.

=R=

Totally agree on Alinea. Most comfortable restaurant chairs ever.

teatpuller wrote:I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

According to Pie Dude, Uncommon Ground's outdoor patio has the best seats. If he hadn't had to get home to his laundry, he said he would have stayed there in the sun, drinking lemonade, until they closed.

For most uncomfortable seats, try Pizzeria Ora at LaSalle & Erie. They're the metal-frame-black-cushion kind you often see in old pizzerias, only there is no more padding, just hard bars and pleather ass groves. Plus the pizza is bland.

They've recently upgraded them, but Joy Yee's on Halsted used to have hard wood, diamond-shaped chairs that were very unkind to the nether regions. You wouldn't want to sit for more than forty-five minutes.

jesteinf wrote:

ronnie_suburban wrote:

teatpuller wrote:I find it to be a great topic actually. Who has the most comfortable chairs?

Alinea . . . they're built specifically for the mission.

Definitely agree about Avec; horrible seating for my plump rump.

=R=

Totally agree on Alinea. Most comfortable restaurant chairs ever.

I'll third the Alinea vote. I've never sat for over four hours like that without noticing my chair (or achiness in my rear end and back). I also find the tall chairs at the Violet Hour surprisingly comfortable. They have a cocoon effect, very protected. Otom's plastic chairs also surprised me--they're a lot more comfortable and supportive than they look.

jpschust wrote:Bluebird's chairs at their bar suck.

These seem to have been replaced...

Sushi Wabi... The chairs are WW2 surplus. Awful.

radiator wrote:They've recently upgraded them, but Joy Yee's on Halsted used to have hard wood, diamond-shaped chairs that were very unkind to the nether regions. You wouldn't want to sit for more than forty-five minutes.

Ugh. I just at the Joy Yee and Evanston and these are worse! The wood has been changed to metal and the diamond is situated in place where there should be no diamonds. I'll say no more...

ChgoMike wrote:

radiator wrote:They've recently upgraded them, but Joy Yee's on Halsted used to have hard wood, diamond-shaped chairs that were very unkind to the nether regions. You wouldn't want to sit for more than forty-five minutes.

Ugh. I just at the Joy Yee and Evanston and these are worse! The wood has been changed to metal and the diamond is situated in place where there should be no diamonds. I'll say no more...

I just sat in these chairs the other week at the University Village location--extremely uncomfortable to the nether regions and to the legs, if you're wearing shorts. I believe the design is by Konstantin Grcic. Totally baffling decision on Joy Yee's part...I'm a fan of minimalism but not of this sort.

I think I have a reasonably high tolerance for moderate discomfort, and there is only one restaurant where the design of the chairs prohibits me from enjoying the food: Chopal.

The chairs have a back so high and straight that it almost feels like it's pitched forward. The table is not sufficiently high enough to clear the tops of my knees comfortably when sitting there. The one time that I had dinner at Chopal, I felt as though I was being forced into a medieval torture device. Also, at the time there were no regular-sized two-tops in the restaurant. Every table was a giant glass-topped square that had to be six feet on each side. I just remember two of us in these horrible chairs at this huge glass table. All I remember from that meal was that the food wasn't good enough to make me endure that torture again.

Best,
Michael

My vote for the most uncomfortable chairs goes to the chair/stools in the western-most room at the Violet Hour. The first room when you enter (the eastern-most room) has chairs that have tall backs. These may be very uncomfortable also, but I haven't had the displeasure of trying them. The second room has a few booths, which have pretty standard booth seats. The third room (the western-most room) has very low stools around small, low tables. They would have to pay me $11 per drink to sit there.

Best seats at Violet Hour are at the bar.