About Tips and Tipping

I've seen various guidelines for tipping when you are served a meal at a restaurant - and I'm not asking about those. What I am wondering is about several other circumstances:

1. What should one tip when you eat in a restaurant where there is a buffet, and the server only brings beverages?

2. Do you tip when you pick up carry-out food, and if so, how much?

3. What about delivery? I assume a tip is considered mandatory - but again, how much?

I'm not asking about exceptionally good or bad service, only what is typical.

Looking forward to hearing opinions.

For delivery, I generally tip 20% since I don't think delivery drivers make much more than what they earn in tips. In bad weather, I'll tip a bit more.

I'll throw in my own question about tipping. It's really the only restaurant situation I'm unsure about, tipwise.

It used to be when you checked your coat, there was a coat check room and a coat check "girl." In places where that still is the way, tipping is unambiguous. A tip is expected. I generally give two dollars for a coat and five dollars for two coats.

But nowadays, it's often that your coat is checked not by a coat check "girl," but by one of the hosts or hostesses at the host stand. The coat goes off somewhere mysterious, and then is fetched for you on your way out. Is a tip expected? Unlike with the coat check girl, who one imagines is living off the tips she makes, the service the host/hostess provides in taking your coat seems not part of the job description, but more like a courtesy. To tip or not to tip seems less clear-cut. Generally I do tip in this situation, although it's often unclear where exactly to put the tip. Sometimes I just put it in the person's hand. No one has ever refused it, and most seem pleased to receive it, but I sometimes wonder if the practice is common or uncommon.

This question is starting to sound like one of those non-sex questions in the old Playboy Advisor.

Turning to nsxtasy's question about buffet tipping, I always tip the waitperson 20% just as I would with traditional table service. He/she may be doing more than just bringing beverages, such as keeping an eye on when plates need to be cleared and fresh ones supplied, folding (in the fancier joints) one's napkin when one is away from the table getting seconds, etc. And a server with a cheerful attitude can do much to make a meal pleasant, even if he or she doesn't appear to be "doing" much. And even when the job is pretty much just keeping the coffee cups filled, I figure that the server shouldn't be deprived of making a living just because of working in a buffet restaurant, and that it's not going to kill me to leave 20%.

riddlemay wrote: Unlike with the coat check girl, who one imagines is living off the tips she makes, the service the host/hostess provides in taking your coat seems not part of the job description, but more like a courtesy.

Actually, taking coats is part of the job description for a host, especially in higher-end restaurants. And in the dead of winter, "coat-wrangling" can take up just as much time as other host duties, especially when larger parties are involved, because they are also expected to help each guest with their coats rather than just dump then in a pile in front of them (at least in the places I've worked.) It also adds to the level of service when your "coat goes off somewhere mysterious, and then is fetched for you on your way out" rather than having to go to a coat check area and fetch your coat. At my restaurant, we try to have coats ready and waiting for you before you even reach the host stand after your meal. Hosts are, of course, generally paid a higher hourly rate than coat checkers and do not depend on tips, as you pointed out, but the hosts I've worked with have always appreciated tips (duh, who wouldn't?) And yes, it's perfectly acceptable to put the tip in their hand! As a server, I've also been tipped for helping guests with their coats, which I always thought was very nice, but I always hand it off to the host. I guess my point is that the hosts I've known don't expect a tip for coat-checking, but they certainly appreciate the gesture. It also affords them the opportunity to buy drinks when they go out at the end of the night with their cash-laden server friends!

Regarding tipping on buffets, you are correct in assuming that servers (ideally) do just as much work as they do with "normal" table service in regards to beverages, table maintenence (which can actually increase in buffet situations depending on seconds, thirds, fourths....!), etc., as well as keeping the kitchen informed of the need to replenish items, setting up and breaking down the buffet, describing dishes, wine service, etc., so thanks for recognizing this in your tipping practices! Personally, I often find buffets to actually be more work than traditional table service!

So how about the case when you're sitting at the sushi bar? What % do you normally give to the sushi chef? To a server who brings drinks, teas, the check, etc.?

Bill/SFNM wrote:So how about the case when you're sitting at the sushi bar? What % do you normally give to the sushi chef? To a server who brings drinks, teas, the check, etc.?

20% on the bill with the bill and let them divide it amongst themselves.

#1 the only buffet I go to is a Chinese buffet that serves beer, so I tip the server 20% like I would tip a bartender

#2 Carryout I tip nothing

#3 Delivery I tip at least 20%, especially with the high gas prices these days.

nsxtasy,

I can't speak for anyone else in terms of what's typical, but here's what I generally do.

nsxtasy wrote:1. What should one tip when you eat in a restaurant where there is a buffet, and the server only brings beverages?

I believe what you'll see in "tipping guides" will say 10%, which is what my parents taught me. I sincerely doubt that the employers of buffets take this into account, so I generally tip the same that I'd tip at any other restaurant.

nsxtasy wrote:2. Do you tip when you pick up carry-out food, and if so, how much?

Yes, but it's situational. If it's a place that I frequent and I have a good relationship with the restaurant, I will usually give them a couple bucks extra. I generally don't tip if it's a place that has a large carry-out operation (as in a specialized carry-out counter).

Also, it depends on who's handling the order. If I see that a member of the waitstaff, kitchen staff, or host has to move from their tables or in-house customers to help me with my order, then I'll most certainly tip a couple bucks.

nsxtasy wrote:3. What about delivery? I assume a tip is considered mandatory - but again, how much?

I don't ever get food delivered, but I'd say that since delivery guys get paid by tips and pay their own gas, I'd think you'd start at five bucks and go up for big orders.

And I always tip a couple bucks, discreetly, to the person who takes our coats.

I hope this helps.

Best,
Michael

Hi,

How about the quasi-self-serve environment where you order food at the counter, then sit and the food is brought to you? No other service is provided.

Buffets where the server refills drinks and clears plates between servings. I have been leaving 10% tip.

Standard table service: 20%

Regards,

jimswside wrote:#1 the only buffet I go to is a Chinese buffet that serves beer, so I tip the server 20% like I would tip a bartender

#2 Carryout I tip nothing

#3 Delivery I tip at least 20%, especially with the high gas prices these days.

This is pretty close to what I do also. My delivery tips tend not to be exact - I aim for around 20%, but since I usually pay cash, I generally just aim to round the bill up to a full dollar amount. I usually overshoot 20% as a consequence.

I basically stopped tipping hosts who check coats in nice restaurant and prefer to view this as part of what is provided as part of the meal and covered by the meal tip. (Perhaps if I think of it, in the future I'll add a little more to the main tip if the host took a bunch of coats.)

jpschust wrote:

Bill/SFNM wrote:So how about the case when you're sitting at the sushi bar? What % do you normally give to the sushi chef? To a server who brings drinks, teas, the check, etc.?

20% on the bill with the bill and let them divide it amongst themselves.

If the sushi chef owns the place, that's what I do. If not, I leave 10-15% on the check and the rest in cash right to the sushi chef.

Here's a thread and poll on tipping on take-out.

jesteinf wrote:For delivery, I generally tip 20% since I don't think delivery drivers make much more than what they earn in tips. In bad weather, I'll tip a bit more.

When I delivered for Jimmy John's (this was about ten years ago), we got paid a minimum wage plus tips. I don't know if this is standard for drivers or not. I would hope for a buck or two a delivery, which works out to be 10%-15%.

However, given the cost of gas these days (and we did pay that out of pocket), I would definitely tip in the 15-20% range today.

Who gets the "Delivery Charge" that is normally added on?

Beverator wrote:Who gets the "Delivery Charge" that is normally added on?

depends- where i used to work (long time ago) the drivers got to keep it, though i know of more than a few places where the owners keep it but they do pay a wage to the drivers.

Tipping posts are generally pretty combative, especially on international sites like Lonely Planet.

1) For buffets, $1-2/ person for most. In situations like the Bellagio, I will go up to 20% if the service is top notch as it generally is.

One exception - I am not tipping at places like the Elgin casino where you get your own food, your own beverage, and the ONLY time you see an employee doing anything other than talking with other employees is when they are reminding you to tip them. No kidding.

2) I don't tip for food carryouts as a general rule.

3) I almost never order food to be delivered but if the person is hustling, I will toss him $2-3 for the delivery.

jlawrence01 wrote:I almost never order food to be delivered but if the person is hustling, I will toss him $2-3 for the delivery.

I always tip delivery people extra generously. As a result, my food always gets delivered quicker than the estimated time and it's usually hot. I consider it money well spent.

disclaimer: I used to waitress.

I always tip 20%

I don't tip for carryout, and I do tip for delivery.

I can't remember the last time I ate at a buffet place, so I don't have a set policy. I guess tipping would depend on the amount of service you receive from the waitstaff in a situation like this. If it's minimal service, I'm comfortable not tipping.

In situations where there is a host/hostess: in my experience, the waitstaff is compelled to split their tips with the host, so there is no need to tip the host separately.

Do those who tip for delivery scale tips the same way they do for restaurant service? I'm all for tipping a few bucks on cheap delivery and $5-7 on more expensive stuff, but for reasons I can't explain (or necessarily justify), $15 just feels like an awfully large tip on a $70 order.

Incidentally, I did not answer my own question. I can tell you what I do, but I had no idea what's considered "proper" but it sounds like I'm in the ballpark.

For a buffet, it depends on what the server actually does for you. I grew up hearing 10 percent and that's still what I would consider a minimum. I don't give the full 18-20 percent that's standard for sit-down service, since there is less work done (no order-taking, no bringing of dishes, etc) and the waitperson can serve more tables at a time (so he/she receives more tips), but I increase the percentage if they are generally available and helpful.

For carry-out, my answer is closest to eatchicago's; it's situational. If it's a place with a big carryout operation and its own carryout counter (e.g. gyros and pizza places), often nothing. If it's a place where there's more of a personal relationship, such as a bartender who retrieves the food and verifies the accuracy of the order, then I typically give a couple of bucks or so.

For delivery... I almost never get delivery, but when I do, I would typically be giving a round amount so that I can hand the driver one bill, usually a five, assuming it's just a single small bag of food. More (maybe a ten) on a very rainy or snowy night.

Of course, there are always additional factors that can increase or decrease the tip. For example, what sparked the question in my mind was the Mother's Day brunch at one sixtyblue. The buffet was much more expensive than most (at $65/pp plus a $12 mimosa, 10 percent was already over $14, which is a pretty healthy amount) and, unlike most buffets, coffee service was on the buffet, not brought to the table. But OTOH I tend to give a higher percentage at a nicer (more upscale) restaurant, when the food and atmosphere are nice, when the server remains available and helpful, etc, so I ended up leaving higher than 10 percent.

Dmnkly wrote:Do those who tip for delivery scale tips the same way they do for restaurant service? I'm all for tipping a few bucks on cheap delivery and $5-7 on more expensive stuff, but for reasons I can't explain (or necessarily justify), $15 just feels like an awfully large tip on a $70 order.

As noted above, I like to be able to hand the driver one bill. I'd probably give a five as a minimum, but if there's a large order, I'd make it ten. If I'm going up from ten (if there's so much food he's making several trips back and forth, terrible weather, etc)... well, I never get that much food delivered, but if I'm going up from ten, it would be to give a twenty.

I worked at a couple different restaurants back in the day and they paid different hourly rates for servers working buffet shifts due to the different tipping.

I will still go 15-20% at a buffet - although I must admit I don't frequent buffets all that often (been a year since my last visit).

I tip the sushi chef seperate when eating at the counter.

Delivery gets 15%. We rarely do delivery anymore 'cause I'm a self-proclaimed cheapskate. $ for delivery and $ for a tip...

I tip our take-out Chinese place. They special make stuff for my wife all the time.

Coat-check - seems most of the hosts are all 16-18 year old girls who don't know how to help someone with their coat. They take it - hang it up and return it to me in a lump and giving me a dirty look as I help my wife with her coat wasting their precious time. Eh - I still give 'em the $2 for one $5 for two.

Bartender gets a buck a beer/drink. If the drink takes time - martini, hand-made margarita, etc...I'll go 20%.

I delivered pizza for many years, and we got minimum wage, plus half the delivery fee (which was $1.25 for the driver), plus tips. If I averaged 2 bucks a delivery on tips irrespective of the price of the order, it worked out pretty well. That being said, there was no substitute for those moments when you ran in to a drunken host trying to impress his buddies by handing you a hundred dollar bill for a 75 dollar order of party trays and telling you to keep the change...then there were other unseemly offers of drugs and partial nudity as compensation, which, while sounding like an early Patrick Dempsey movie cliche, are utterly true conventions of being a delivery boy.

This thread has really got me thinking about my tipping practices.

In the last few years, I haven't really been to any buffet-type restaurants. I have been to Ruby Tuesday with my parents. There is a salad buffet there and also table service for your entree. I tipped 20%.

Many years ago, I was a "server" at one of those big buffet restaurants where you ordered your steak at a station when you entered, proceeded to the serve yourself from the world's biggest, best salad buffet and then your entree was brought to you by a server (i.e. me...). My duties included taking and refilling drink orders, clearing plates, setting up highchairs, bussing (yes, bussing) the table (including vacuuming under the table), bringing clean plates, delivering entrees, ensuring that the food that the table ordered was actually the food they received, checking on the diners and their happiness levels, etc. Other than not actually taking the entree order and piling food on the diners plate from the world's biggest, best salad buffet, I was a full-on server. The diners, however, routinely took a different view and would tip me $2.00 since I wasn't a "real" server. (This was a long time ago when generally tips came in at 10% in most restaurants, so this tip probably came in at 2-3%.) So, I guess I am saying, if you get good service at a buffet-type place and the "server" is working her can off, maybe a bump-up to 20% tipping (just like real servers) is warranted. Not a judgment on any different point of view on tipping, just some food for thought.

I routinely tip anybody who gives me my coat back from a coat check $2 for my coat and $5 for two coats. Sometimes it is the hostess, sometimes a server. I assume that the server gives the hostess a cut.

I also routinely tip bartenders 20% if I am eating at the bar or I have tucked-in for an extended respite and $2 per drink if I am just buying a couple of drinks before dinner.

Ashamedly, I admit that I have been tipping delivery persons $3.00 per delivery, which usually is something like 8%. I think this is where I have cheaped-out and I intend to change this practice (maybe a $5.00 flat rate or something).

Cinny's Mom wrote:I routinely tip anybody who gives me my coat back from a coat check $2 for my coat and $5 for two coats. Sometimes it is the hostess, sometimes a server. I assume that the server gives the hostess a cut.

As I say, I also usually tip the host-stand person for coats, but what if you've already tipped her? This was the situation last week at Erwin. Our party of four began at the bar, where we ran up a bill of about $40 and tipped well. (At least, I assume we did; my friend took care of the bar bill, but he's usually a good tipper.) Then we ate in the dining room; then, on our way out, as there was no one standing at the host station at that particular moment, the bartender came out from behind the bar to get our coats, which was nice of her. I didn't feel a tip was in order, because we had already tipped her well earlier in the evening. Dear Playboy Advisor, did I do right?

Cathy2 wrote:Hi,

How about the quasi-self-serve environment where you order food at the counter, then sit and the food is brought to you? No other service is provided.

Buffets where the server refills drinks and clears plates between servings. I have been leaving 10% tip.

Regards,

Quasi-self-serve, I'll leave a small tip (usually $1, which is generally more than 10 percent) if they not only bring the food, but also have to clear the table. If I have to bus my own dishes, I don't usually leave a tip, or I'll leave some change in the jar these sorts of places often have next to the cash register.

At a lot of the buffets I go to, I have to get my own drinks. I still leave about 10 percent, as the server usually has to clear at least a few dishes -- but at least $1 (there are some bargain buffets out there). In places that do bring your drinks, if I had endless refills of something, I'll go higher, but if it's just one pot of tea and they disappear, then I stay at 10 percent.

It occurs to me that tipping has all kinds of stuff going on in it.

On one level (the most attractive level), it's about wanting to express gratitude for service, and it's based on an awareness that the person's wage alone is not sufficient reward.

But on another level it's all about the tipper. We are very conscious of "not wanting to seem like one of those people" who doesn't tip, or doesn't tip enough. We carefully gauge the level of tip that will make us generous in the receiver's estimation, or make the receiver like us, or cause the receiver to give us good service in the future, or simply not make the receiver regard us as a cheapskate, or too dumb to know any better. It can be about earning approval or avoiding disdain, or about defining ourselves as having a requisite level of sophistication, or all three at the same time.

On yet another level, it has very much to do reinforcing the perceived social inequality in the transaction in a way that we like. You, the server/valet guy/coatcheck girl, etc., are the poor working stiff who needs my largesse, and I, the well-off dude, am the guy who nobly provides it. On this level, tipping serves to buttress the self-esteem of the tipper, by underlining his position of relative privilege.

riddlemay wrote:On yet another level, it has very much to do reinforcing the perceived social inequality in the transaction in a way that we like. You, the server/valet guy/coatcheck girl, etc., are the poor working stiff who needs my largesse, and I, the well-off dude, am the guy who nobly provides it. On this level, tipping serves to buttress the self-esteem of the tipper, by underlining his position of relative privilege.

I'm not sure I see it as a self-esteem or issue of nobility vs. peons. Perhaps in some people, but I see this as a function of pragmatics (I am a pragmatist when it comes to issues like this).

The fact of the matter is that tips, for the most part, make up the majority of the income for people like waiters and delivery people. So, if I round up a $17 pizza order and give the guy a $20, I'm not doing it to feel good about myself, but rather doing it to avoid feeling bad (acting immorally) --I'm acknowledging that the system works a certain way and I'm willing to play within the rules.

It's the same as buying a newspaper from a machine: It doesn't make me feel good about myself in any way, but if I steal a paper (play outside the system, stealing money from the guy who fills the machine) then I certainly feel bad.

So, It's a morality question for me. I don't follow a moral code for purposes of ego gratification, wanting to be liked, lack of self-esteem, or any other reason other than the fact that I accept the system and I accept that I have a moral imperative to hold up my end of the bargain.

To suggest that people tip for self-esteem issues would indicate that if given the opportunity to tip anonymously, then those people would tip less (or not at all). Do you believe that's the case?

Best,
Michael

eatchicago wrote:To suggest that people tip for self-esteem issues would indicate that if given the opportunity to tip anonymously, then those people would tip less (or not at all). Do you believe that's the case?

I have no doubt that there's a large chunk of society that, if all tips were on an anonymous basis, would never tip a dime.

Dmnkly wrote:

eatchicago wrote:To suggest that people tip for self-esteem issues would indicate that if given the opportunity to tip anonymously, then those people would tip less (or not at all). Do you believe that's the case?

I have no doubt that there's a large chunk of society that, if all tips were on an anonymous basis, would never tip a dime.

Perhaps, (depends on what you call a 'large chunk') but I don't believe it's the majority. I suppose my point is that I think riddlemay missed the main point of tipping when he breaks it down to a function of gratitude and self-esteem. I believe that most people recognize it (consciously or not) as part of the contract, and we don't follow contracts for either of those purposes but simply because we believe that it's immoral not to.

eatchicago wrote:To suggest that people tip for self-esteem issues would indicate that if given the opportunity to tip anonymously, then those people would tip less (or not at all). Do you believe that's the case?

Best,
Michael

Not at all. In the three levels of what's-going-on that I identified, all three levels are going on concurrently. The first level I identified (wanting to express gratitude) is no less real just because the other two levels are also there. So even in the hypothetical absence of those other two levels, the first one--which would still be present even if the tip were anonymous--would be at work.

Edited to add: I agree with your analysis of tipping as part of the social contract, which it is immoral in some sense to disregard. But I believe this falls under my Level Two. You can revise it slightly to say that not only don't we want to be "one of those people who doesn't tip," but that it pleases us to regard ourselves as in compliance with the social contract.