Usually, this stuff just washes over me. There are a million phony Irish bars in Chicago. Who cares if someone opens another one. But somehow the extra-cloying fakey name, decorated with shammrock apostrophe's, together with a generic bar menu that didn't even pretend, not for one second or one item anywhere, to live up to its sub-sub-Disney Irish theme just gagged me.
Received in my mailbox the menu from the newly opened
Paddy O' Splaine's First the good news: No leprechauns, and it isn't called a "publicke house" in olde type face. End of good news.
If the menu is to be our guide to understanding Irish cookery, then they are famous for their:
* "pommes frites"
* Buffalo wings
* quesadillas
* ahi tuna
* calamari
* date salad
* Pizza (Margherita, Campagna, and "Montrose Monster")
* Fettucini with red or white clam sauce
* Gnocchi with tomato-vodka cream sauce
* Risotto
* Carbonara (served on rigatoni, natch, and including peas, onions, and cream---just like my Irish Nonna used to make)
* Burgers
* Chicken Caesar or Buffalo wraps
* Turtle cheesecake
* Key lime pie
* "housemade" tiramisu
Not so much as lip service to fish and chips, or perhaps even weirder for a bar, a mention of libations. I mean not so much as a line about beer, ale, whiskey.
So I'm just left scratching my head and wondering, if someone wants to open a 100% generic frat-boy bar and serve 100% generic food in large gloppy cheese-covered portions with a couple of wraps and salads for their girlfriends, they why even bother with "Paddy O'Splaine's?" If you don't even care enough to fake it, then why bother? If you want to run an Applebee's, then open an Applebee's.
It doesn't matter at all. I don't have to go. The burgers might be great. Hell, the pizza might be great for all I know. I just don't get it.
"Strange how potent cheap music is."