Service - nitpicky or no?

I was dining alone for lunch today at a mid-level place (soup, entree, and a glass of wine were $37) in the Loop.

Immediately after ordering, I headed to the bathroom - I wasn't long at all - when I returned the bread, my soup, and wine were already on the table.

This struck me as odd....am I being nitpicky or am I wrong - is it acceptable to put food on an empty table?

Definitely seems odd to me.

=R=

Don't know what's right or wrong here, can only tell you (since you seem to be asking how we'd feel if it happened to us) that if it happened to me, I wouldn't think anything of it. Especially if dining alone, I might even feel glad that my soup and wine were waiting for me on my return to the table, so that I'd be spared any "trying to keep occupied while waiting for my food to arrive" awkwardness.

I thought the general rule was that you don't put food down for a person who isn't there. You would think that as a server you would want the customer to see you doing your work and earning your pay.

riddlemay wrote:Don't know what's right or wrong here, can only tell you (since you seem to be asking how we'd feel if it happened to us) that if it happened to me, I wouldn't think anything of it. Especially if dining alone, I might even feel glad that my soup and wine were waiting for me on my return to the table, so that I'd be spared any "trying to keep occupied while waiting for my food to arrive" awkwardness.

I totally agree with you, riddlemay. People are completely freaked out by lone diners.

Personally, I wouldn't have noticed it. It's not something would occur to me as being out of place.

Pie Lady wrote:I totally agree with you, riddlemay. People are completely freaked out by lone diners.

Ha! Of course, I was talking about my own awkwardness (which I know you know--but I appreciate your twist on it). Which makes me envy that you are as unself-conscious about dining alone as I am self-conscious.

It's not always torturous for me. Sometimes I can be pretty mellow about it. But then I catch myself noticing that I'm mellow, and start wondering if I'm conveying just the right note of mellowness, or should I modulate it up or down a bit. Which presumes, of course, that anyone else even gives a goldurn, which they don't, but hey, that's what being self-conscious is all about.

I think it seems odd as well. I feel more comfortable if my food is brought when I'm present. That way I can make sure everything has been delivered properly.

I'm the type who's very comfortable eating alone. I don't do it often, but I enjoy it.

I was quite sedate, in no hurry, and had reading material with me - plus it was an off time so I wasn't occupying a table that needed to be flipped or anything.

I'm just trying to get opinions - when I saw it my gut reaction was to be irritated, but as I thought about it I started to wonder if that was an unreasonable reaction (not that I said anything) - if it were a diner I wouldn't have thought twice, but it was a nicer place.

Of course, if I wasn't eating alone I wouldn't have had the time to reassess and dwell over whether or not I should be annoyed.

It seems like it's a grey area.

Thanks for the opinions.

chrisch wrote:I'm the type who's very comfortable eating alone. I don't do it often, but I enjoy it.

I was quite sedate, in no hurry, and had reading material with me - plus it was an off time so I wasn't occupying a table that needed to be flipped or anything.

I'm just trying to get opinions - when I saw it my gut reaction was to be irritated, but as I thought about it I started to wonder if that was an unreasonable reaction (not that I said anything) - if it were a diner I wouldn't have thought twice, but it was a nicer place.

Of course, if I wasn't eating alone I wouldn't have had the time to reassess and dwell over whether or not I should be annoyed.

It seems like it's a grey area.

Thanks for the opinions.

Yeah, not really sure how I'd feel if it happened to me (might depend on which side of the bed I woke up on) but I do think, based on my experience, that it was unusual. Fact is, I don't often dine alone and being the adult male in my family, most restaurants won't even bring the bill to the table if I personally am not there. On that basis, bringing the food to the the table when any diner is not present seems very out of the norm to me.

=R=

Lesson: pee before you sit down to lunch.

I don't know. Admittedly this was lunch, not a bar at night, but I've had it drilled into me never to get separated from your drink in case someone slips you a mickey. I would be very hesitant to drink something that had been sitting out.

I dont think it would bother me, sometimes, I will go to the bathroom on purpose, knowing that Murphy's Law will come into play, and the food will be being served, or waiting once I get back.

jimswside wrote:I dont think it would bother me, sometimes, I will go to the bathroom on purpose, knowing that Murphy's Law will come into play, and the food will be being served, or waiting once I get back.

Yes! I've done this. Especially after waiting a bit for the food to arrive, and it doesn't--I figure, I know how to make it get here. And when I come back, if my magic worked, I'm delighted.

But a lot depends on what kind of place it is, how'd I'd feel about the food arriving in my absence. A white tablecloth place, like Atwood Cafe, I might feel it was a little out of line. A loop diner like Beef 'n' Brandy or Chef Petros, it'd be all good.

riddlemay wrote:

jimswside wrote:I dont think it would bother me, sometimes, I will go to the bathroom on purpose, knowing that Murphy's Law will come into play, and the food will be being served, or waiting once I get back.

Yes! I've done this. Especially after waiting a bit for the food to arrive, and it doesn't--I figure, I know how to make it get here. And when I come back, if my magic worked, I'm delighted.

But a lot depends on what kind of place it is, how'd I'd feel about the food arriving in my absence. A white tablecloth place, like Atwood Cafe, I might feel it was a little out of line. A loop diner like Beef 'n' Brandy or Chef Petros, it'd be all good.

I agree, it depends on the setting, and restaurant. But it seems to work.

riddlemay wrote:But a lot depends on what kind of place it is, how'd I'd feel about the food arriving in my absence. A white tablecloth place, like Atwood Cafe, I might feel it was a little out of line. A loop diner like Beef 'n' Brandy or Chef Petros, it'd be all good.

Guess what? You might feel it was a little out of line. It was Atwood.

chrisch wrote:Guess what? You might feel it was a little out of line. It was Atwood.

I knew that.

Does it bother anyone else that the soup would get cold waiting for its drinker to return from the restroom?

depends on the exact temperature at which the soup was served to begin with, the proportion of heat-retaining ingredients it contains, the temperature of the bowl before service, and the relative fullness of the diner's bladder. Can anyone provide these measurements for me? Only then will I be able to assign an appropriate level of fault to the restaurant.

(in case it's unclear, my vote is toward the yes side of the question in the title of the OP's post)

As a former Atwoodite, I think it is safe to say that this is not a typical practice. That being said, I would have felt a little off if it had happened to me. Had you taken to long, I am sure they would have switched the soup for a hot bowl. It is in a warmer in the basement. You may have had a new food runner as well. The lunched at the Atwood are crazy, normally they seat 300 people from 11-2 in a 80 seat restaurant. Turn and burn. Sometimes they screw up, especially at lunch. The dinner service is must more paced and relaxed.

Diannie wrote:Does it bother anyone else that the soup would get cold waiting for its drinker to return from the restroom?

How long a whizz are you taking?

I'm tired of blowing on things that are too hot. My absence is like a complimentary blow - my soup may be ready to snarf when I get back.

After thinking more about this thread, it would bother me if I were dining with someone else and the orders arrived while I was gone, because the other person may not wait for my return before digging in. Then I feel like I have to play catch-up. But when I'm by myself, I prefer the food to magically appear in my absence. Makes me believe that fairies are involved.

They could have put a cloche on it.

Diannie wrote:Does it bother anyone else that the soup would get cold waiting for its drinker to return from the restroom?

Ironically, the soup was gazpacho - which probably makes me sound even pickier. The soup was not warm by the time I got back....it was a more of a handwashing departure anyway - five minutes per hand.

I hope I didn't suggest this was a big deal - I posted in the "Other" forum to avoid sounding like I was griping - I certainly didn't tip less or anything of that sort.

chrisch wrote:

Diannie wrote:Does it bother anyone else that the soup would get cold waiting for its drinker to return from the restroom?

Ironically, the soup was gazpacho - which probably makes me sound even pickier. The soup was not warm by the time I got back....it was a more of a handwashing departure anyway - five minutes per hand.

I hope I didn't suggest this was a big deal - I posted in the "Other" forum to avoid sounding like I was griping - I certainly didn't tip less or anything of that sort.

I'm so sorry, not meaning to offend, but this thread just tickles my funnybone. It's probably a good thing I can't afford to eat at really high-end places...

Out of curiosity, why is this (serving a meal when it's ready, but somebody is away from the table momentarily) considered rude or in bad form?

Binko wrote:Out of curiosity, why is this (serving a meal when it's ready, but somebody is away from the table momentarily) considered rude or in bad form?

4 general reasons that I can think of, although I'm guessing there are probably more:

1) Food can get cold while diner is away from the table.

2) Diner being there provides for better accuracy, in case the served dish is not right.

3) Diner might have a question or an additional request for a condiment, utensil, etc.

4) A third party could interfere with the food.

=R=

chrisch wrote:it was a more of a handwashing departure anyway - five minutes per hand.

If I'm not mistaken, this is a significantly longer "scrub" than even the CDC recommends as a surgical scrub.

To answer the OP's original question: I wouldn't have even noticed that this was unusual until I thought about it, now that you've mentioned it. Now, I agree that it is not appropriate to be served in one's absence (at least not in a "good" restaurant) - then really it's like you're not really being served at all.... sort of... ha...

Jay K wrote:Now, I agree that it is not appropriate to be served in one's absence (at least not in a "good" restaurant) - then really it's like you're not really being served at all.... sort of... ha...

I think that is really the point #5 of Ronnie's 4-point list. (And, being not a strictly rational point, it may be more to the point--since rationality is way overrated.) In a nice restaurant, part of what you're "paying for" (part of why you go) is that you want to be served. If the serving happens when you're not there, you're cheated of this.

chrisch wrote:I hope I didn't suggest this was a big deal - I posted in the "Other" forum to avoid sounding like I was griping - I certainly didn't tip less or anything of that sort.

I don't think you're griping. It's an interesting post.

Food should not be served to absent diners. I would be critical even if there were others at the table, but it seems especially egregious in the case of a lone diner, for all of the reasons ronnie mentioned.

This seems risky for the server, too. What if you never came back? What if, when you got back, you dumped part of the meal into your pocket and then claimed it wasn't there?