Semi-Ho For a Day

Today was one of those days where I was doing ten million crazy things, those of you who watch the next Sky Full of Bacon will see just how crazy, so when I got home from them and my wife had wound up stuck with the duty of picking up the kids in Rogers Park and the dog in West Town, I figured the least I could do was cook dinner.

I remembered something I had been importuned into by my youngest son. We'd gone to Trader Joe's a week ago, and they were giving out samples of, well, let's call them Trader Giotto's Nouvelle Spaghetti-Os. Take a 32 oz. box of TJ tomato soup, a couple of tablespoons of TJ pumpkin butter, and a couple of cups of TJ pasta in an O-ring shape. Boil pasta, heat soup with pumpkin butter, dash with soy sauce (Trader Jao's?), drain pasta, dump into soup mixture, let absorb soup, and in not much time... instant dinner. So I bought the ingredients, fully recognizing that I was taking a step into the kind of mix-three-packaged-products cooking that I loathe and, understandably, associate with the worst cooking show in the history of mankind, Semi-Homemade With Sandra Lee. I hated myself for doing it, but I knew the night would come when it would be handy and make a kid or two happy.

And so it came and I made it. To be honest, it wasn't bad-- too sweet, as you might expect (some recommended parmesan helped there), but at least of some interest, I didn't mind it a bit. In fact, it made me want to sing a song, a la Mad magazine (*Sung to the tune of "Sandra Dee"):

Look at me, I'm Sandra Lee
Lousy culinarily,
Won't cook a meal 'less it comes with a seal
To open, Sandra Lee

Taste it! Hey, I'm Rachel Ray
Eating on forty dollars a day
I'll double yum a sauteed chewing gum
Oh my God, I'm Rachel Ray*

So are you concerned that I've gone over to the dark side? Ironically, at the very moment I was being a kitchen ho and making my family dinner out of jars, bags and Tetra-Paks, I was engaged in the most diametrically opposite kitchen activity I can imagine. Well, okay, maybe not THE most, I hadn't nailed an eel to a board to skin it, but close enough. A pair of pork bellies had just arrived from my friends at Northeast Iowa Specialty Meats, and so once I had the Trader Joe pumpkin butter cooking in the Trader Joe tomato soup, I turned my attention for a moment to pouring pre-mixed (by me) cure into the bags with the bellies, adding some maple syrup and smooshed juniper berries, and sealing them up to cure in the beer fridge for the next 10 days or so. Semi-Ho dinner, but homemade bacon. We all find ourselves with such culinary split personalities from time to time....

You lost me at pumpkin butter.......blech.

(for the record, I like it on fresh bread, that's about it, and I can see how kids would like the sweetnes in their sauce)

My mom loves Sandra Lee, which means I see a fair bit of her when I visit my mom -- including one of those "chef-ographies" they do. I haven't seen a Sandra Lee recipe yet that I want to run home and make. However, in her defense, she didn't want to do a cooking show and doesn't consider herself a culinary expert. She wanted to do home decorating, but the TV group that includes FoodNetwork insisted on food. So the choice was having a show in an area she didn't consider her area of expertise (other than having fed all the kids in her family while growing up) or sticking to her area of expertise and having no show at all. Given that she grew up in poverty, doing the show about food seems to me to be a reasonable choice. So for what it's worth, even Sandra Lee doesn't think of herself as a great cook, just one that managed to get food on the table every day for all her siblings (mom died young). I find that, even though I don't want to start ripping open packages, it at least makes her sympathetic.

Cynthia wrote:My mom loves Sandra Lee, which means I see a fair bit of her when I visit my mom -- including one of those "chef-ographies" they do. I haven't seen a Sandra Lee recipe yet that I want to run home and make. However, in her defense, she didn't want to do a cooking show and doesn't consider herself a culinary expert. She wanted to do home decorating, but the TV group that includes FoodNetwork insisted on food. So the choice was having a show in an area she didn't consider her area of expertise (other than having fed all the kids in her family while growing up) or sticking to her area of expertise and having no show at all. Given that she grew up in poverty, doing the show about food seems to me to be a reasonable choice. So for what it's worth, even Sandra Lee doesn't think of herself as a great cook, just one that managed to get food on the table every day for all her siblings (mom died young). I find that, even though I don't want to start ripping open packages, it at least makes her sympathetic.

I'm not sure that's true -- I believe that the Sandra Lee had already published several "Semi-Homemade" cookbooks prior to rolling out her show. Although publishing a cookbook dedicated to "semi-homemade" cooking does not make her a food or cooking expert, it certainly belies her self-serving claim that she was uncomfortable doing a show when the show is on the very subject of the cookbooks that she had presumably penned and published.

Frankly, I've seen her tablescapes and decorating -- I think if given the choice between decorating my house a la Sandra Lee or drinking one of her crazy cocktails, I'd gladly drink the cocktail first. I'd even eat the Kwanzaa cake before adorning my kitchen in pink, like she does. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

he lost me at the mention of Trader Joe's.. TJ's screams Sandra Lee "quality" foods to me.

Those pork bellies sound awesome though.

I've said it again and again, the biggest challenge to local eating is the cooking. Obviously, cooking takes time and effort, but cooking from scratch takes even more time and even more effort. It is unfortunate and unfair, but one's ability to be a locavore is very related to one's access to kitchen time.

There are solutions or ideas at least. Some working families make all their food for the week in blasts of activities, a Sunday of a-cookin'. Ms. Yum-OH has some good tips about prepping ahead too. Local meals can be whipped up too. I'm not quite sure what we'll be having tonight, but I think I might just do the grilled slab of Brunkow cheese thing. Can't go wrong with eggs. Still, all of these ideas often dwarf against the reality of having to have something to eat. At least we have a good tune now to help in those occasions.

There are some reasons to go to Trader Joe's (pasta, nuts, buffalo mozzarella, etc.), though normally following their recipe to a T is NOT one of them.

As far as eating locally goes, believe me, it was a BIG eat local day for me, just not in terms of what I made for dinner myself....

Cynthia wrote:I haven't seen a Sandra Lee recipe yet that I want to run home and make.

Sometimes, on those occasions when I'm incapacitated with a migraine and I'm home alone with Sparky for the day, we'll leave Food Network on in the background (I used to use HGTV to bore him into napping) One day, Sandra Lee was preparing a boxed cake-mix cake filled with ice cream, which she filled by cutting the cake layer in half, putting the bottom back into the cake pan, spreading with ice cream and topping with the top layer, then freezing. Simple, I know, but I never thought about it before, and I've done it several times (with a scratch cake, of course) since.

Obviously, I'm no stranger to prepared pantry meals (the giardinera clam sauce really is quite good.) Our standby is jarred pasta sauce, Italian sausage, and boxed pasta - though this year I have several jars of my own sauce. Of course, we now have homemade bread at most meals...

Mhays wrote:Sometimes, on those occasions when I'm incapacitated with a migraine and I'm home alone with Sparky for the day, we'll leave Food Network on in the background (I used to use HGTV to bore him into napping) One day, Sandra Lee was preparing a boxed cake-mix cake filled with ice cream, which she filled by cutting the cake layer in half, putting the bottom back into the cake pan, spreading with ice cream and topping with the top layer, then freezing. Simple, I know, but I never thought about it before, and I've done it several times (with a scratch cake, of course) since.

Well, if you throw enough things at the wall, something is bound to turn out ok. Hey, even Rick Bayless falls prey to the Semi-Ho allure from time-to-time. On his recent ice cream episode he made quince paste and cream cheese ice cream by taking store-bought vanilla ice cream and throwing it in the mixer with the other two main ingredients.

As for Sandra Lee not wanting to make a food show: that's fine. I don't blame someone for being full of bad ideas and misinformation, I blame the people that give them the platform (Food Network).

Actually, I believe she attended Le Cordon Bleu in Paris after she had made it big with home decorating. So it's not like she hasn't gotten at least some culinary training. As I recall from her Chef-ography (ok, I was home sick one weekend and watched it), she wants to show people how they can make stuff quickly and still feel like they are hosting an event (complete with decorations!) in a short amount of time.

I find her personality to be grating, and the food she makes unappetizing. I find that the best time saving tip is generally making things that you can freeze in bulk.

12345ne wrote:Actually, I believe she attended Le Cordon Bleu in Paris after she had made it big with home decorating.

She took a two-week course at Le Cordon-Bleu in Canada and quit before it was over.

Mhays wrote:Our standby is jarred pasta sauce, Italian sausage, and boxed pasta - though this year I have several jars of my own sauce.

This is my standby, too, though I don't have my own sauce (TJ's tomato-basil marinara), and I use Tofurky Italian sausage.

I have a semi-ho day about once a week. Last one was last night. FWIW, I always try to de-package and slow down my standby meal with something more in the direction of homemade. Yesterday, it was a heaping side of collard greens from the Logan Square Farmers Market done up with some butter, olive oil, garlic and lemon zest. The side probably doesn't make up for all of my transgressions, but it makes it all a little better...right???

Not to worry - we've yet to crack a jar of my sauce, and I only have 6 or so...even more embarrasing, we usuallly use Barilla Marinara (a step up from the Ragu and ground beef my mother used, which was yet another step up from the near-ketchup most kids in Ohio were used to eating) I think we tried using turkey Italian Sausage, and decided the healthier version was both too hard to find when you want it and just too darn healthy!

Actually, I believe she attended Le Cordon Bleu in Paris after she had made it big with home decorating.

She took a two-week course at Le Cordon-Bleu in Canada and quit before it was over.

Now that's hilarious! The show I watched definitely did not say it in those terms.

12345ne wrote:

Actually, I believe she attended Le Cordon Bleu in Paris after she had made it big with home decorating.

She took a two-week course at Le Cordon-Bleu in Canada and quit before it was over.

Now that's hilarious! The show I watched definitely did not say it in those terms.

Not only that, but it's still featured in her bio and she has frequently cited it in interviews. At first, it was put forth as her training. Then somebody called her on it. Since then, it's morphed from her "training" into her "inspiration" for the show... the aha moment was supposedly when she was making stock or something. Why do this when you can buy it at the store? Dropped out of the course, started Semi-Homemade.

With the ability to spin like that, I think her true calling lies in politics.

(Really, anything to get her out of the kitchen)

Dmnkly wrote:Not only that, but it's still featured in her bio and she has frequently cited it in interviews. At first, it was put forth as her training. Then somebody called her on it. Since then, it's morphed from her "training" into her "inspiration" for the show... the aha moment was supposedly when she was making stock or something. Why do this when you can buy it at the store? Dropped out of the course, started Semi-Homemade.

With the ability to spin like that, I think her true calling lies in politics.

(Really, anything to get her out of the kitchen)

Actually the "inspiration" came while she was scraping beef tendons.

(mentioned near the bottom of the page)

I guess she just doesn't bother me much because I don't watch the show. (It probably helps that I don't have cable and only watch the Food Network when I'm visiting my mom.) There's a lot of stuff I don't like on TV, so I just don't watch it -- and even the stuff that's good, I usually don't have time for.

I do not, however, begrudge her the success. She (or whoever at Food Network decided she should be on TV) has clearly identified a market. After all, the majority of mainstream homemakers are probably slinging Chef Boyardee and Kraft Blue Box, and for them, this may be a huge step forward. I don't have to watch her, but I don't mind that she's doing what she does.

Cynthia, you have obviously been spared the worst of it - even if one cooks only foods that have been precooked and prepackaged, most folks know that canned chocolate frosting + confectioner's sugar + cocoa powder (for authenticity, I can only assume) + vanilla extract does not add up to Sensuous Chocolate Truffles. Or that, even if you add fruit, white chocolate chips probably don't belong in a Mixed Fruit and Spring Greens salad. Or that you shouldn't stir Cool Whip into coffee.

Though I managed to extract one mote of usefulness, the show isn't bad because she shuns ingredients for mixes, it's what she does with both after they get to her kitchen.

Yeah, I feel like she's woefully undershooting the average person's capacity for foodmaking, by telling them that they can make something gourmet-sounding in a really shitty way, when they should just make plain, classic American food the normal way and it wouldn't be icky and fake.

This is a crime, and deserves the censure and disdain of all decent people.

Mhays wrote:Cynthia, you have obviously been spared the worst of it - even if one cooks only foods that have been precooked and prepackaged, most folks know that canned chocolate frosting + confectioner's sugar + cocoa powder (for authenticity, I can only assume) + vanilla extract does not add up to Sensuous Chocolate Truffles. Or that, even if you add fruit, white chocolate chips probably don't belong in a Mixed Fruit and Spring Greens salad. Or that you shouldn't stir Cool Whip into coffee.

Though I managed to extract one mote of usefulness, the show isn't bad because she shuns ingredients for mixes, it's what she does with both after they get to her kitchen.

Yeah -- it sounds like I've been spared a great deal. It seems as though not watching TV is a good way to avoid disappointment.

Actually, speaking of Cool Whip, one thing I learned last year at a food history conference that took us to Winterthur, the wonderful old DuPont mansion in Delaware, is that when they set the dining room table with fake food to show what the holidays were like at the mansion, they use real Cool Whip. It never deflates. It just sits there, looking fresh and just served, for a month or more. I can't imagine what it must be made of.

Cynthia wrote:Cool Whip. It never deflates. It just sits there, looking fresh and just served, for a month or more. I can't imagine what it must be made of.

According to Wired, "sugar, wax, and condom lube." But it's probably the combination of sorbitan monostearate and xanthan and guar gums that enable it to retain its consistency.

"canned chocolate frosting + confectioner's sugar + cocoa powder (for authenticity, I can only assume) + vanilla extract does not add up to Sensuous Chocolate Truffles."
OMG I thought you were kidding. I am mysteriously drawn to make this, just to see how truly awful it is?

On a practical level, Cynthia, she's just annoying. But on a philosophical level, she's downright evil. The point of her whole show is that making real food is too hard and it takes too much time and you aren't smart enough to handle it. But even setting aside the fact that this is a big lie and her concoctions take just as much time and effort as simple, real cooking, the subtext of her show is what's most troubling to me. She's an anti-teacher. Rather than demonstrating to her students that they're more capable than they think they are and helping them to fulfill their potential, she instead reinforces their fears and insecurities, telling them that they're just not good enough and the best they can hope to achieve with their limited time and skill is preprocessed Frankenstein dishes.

Which is why it's especially infuriating when she purports to represent "all of the women out there who are just trying to get it done" (actual quote*). She's not empowering hew viewers, as she claims. Rather, she's reinforcing and preying on their false sense of impotence.

* - Actually, this was a response to her critics. She said that the people taking a shot at her show were taking a shot at "all the women..." etc. etc. Even more insidious... and further evidence that she'd make a great (if scary) politician.

Extremely well said, Dom.

The housewife (of either sex) once had a portfolio of basic regional/ethnic dishes which were invariably executed well through long practice, and loved by her family. Now she has recipes gotten off TV which convince her that basic skills are beyond her and teach her to make a poor, lame imitation of restaurant food. No wonder the pride that once attended cooking well has been replaced by anxiety and self-loathing over preparing food badly despite the TV's ever-willing "help" in providing new monstrosities to try.

Dmnkly wrote:On a practical level, Cynthia, she's just annoying. But on a philosophical level, she's downright evil. The point of her whole show is that making real food is too hard and it takes too much time and you aren't smart enough to handle it. But even setting aside the fact that this is a big lie and her concoctions take just as much time and effort as simple, real cooking, the subtext of her show is what's most troubling to me. She's an anti-teacher. Rather than demonstrating to her students that they're more capable than they think they are and helping them to fulfill their potential, she instead reinforces their fears and insecurities, telling them that they're just not good enough and the best they can hope to achieve with their limited time and skill is preprocessed Frankenstein dishes.

And there's always alcohol at the end of the show to numb yourself up from all that fear and insecurity.

I was watching here show with my sister recently (and yes I do occasionally turn it on because I like to know the enemy). My sister offered up the usual defense of her and I countered with a Dom-like statement about her evil-ness (very well put, Dom).

I also added: "If that's not enough for you, she makes false statements all the time about cost, healthfulness, and basic kitchen skills."

Not two minutes later she was chopping cilantro and told her viewers to only use the leaves because the stems are wood-y and bitter.

I know many on this forum are diometrically opposed to cooking with prepared ingredients, but I don't mind the idea. However, if you're going to do it, do it right: for instance, take the I Hate to Cook Book. Here, there's a mix of prepared and fresh ingredients, but they usually come together in a way that makes sense.

Or throw up your hands altogether and eat Easy Mac straight - sometimes I do: my feeling is that if I'm going to spend 20 minutes making mac and cheese, I'll do it this way. If it's from a box, then by God it better take 2.5 minutes or less. As Mike and eatchicago point out, I don't get fussing over half an hour on frankenfood, when you could do something from scratch in 20.

What all this is making me think of is that we need a thread here (which I may create if I can build up a couple of starters) on "Shortcuts to Slow Food"

First thing that comes to my mind: Asian groceries often have pre-sliced beef, lamb and chicken for bul-go-gi or shabu-shabu. These sliced meats can be easily further cut into small pieces down to matchsticks for stir-fry.

Happy Halloween!

Mhays wrote:I know many on this forum are diometrically opposed to cooking with prepared ingredients, but I don't mind the idea. However, if you're going to do it, do it right: for instance, take the I Hate to Cook Book. Here, there's a mix of prepared and fresh ingredients, but they usually come together in a way that makes sense.

Or throw up your hands altogether and eat Easy Mac straight - sometimes I do: my feeling is that if I'm going to spend 20 minutes making mac and cheese, I'll do it this way. If it's from a box, then by God it better take 2.5 minutes or less. As Mike and eatchicago point out, I don't get fussing over half an hour on frankenfood, when you could do something from scratch in 20.

I've never seen Sandra Lee's show, so I can't comment on it. I'm a huge fan of Peg Bracken, whose work -- since she was was writing for working women in the 1960s and therefore aimed at sophisticated palates -- holds up surprisingly well.

But I suspect the audience for both Lee and Bracken is not so much people who are afraid of cooking as people who don't like cooking and prepare meals because they feel they ought to. That's a very different group today than it was in 1960, when fast food was new and women who didn't prepare the nightly family dinner from scratch were outrageous oddities.

The woman who can be made to feel guilty today because she doesn't enjoy the supposedly nurturing role of feeding her family is ripe for someone who'll tell her that it's a difficult chore and that she's right to resort to time-saving convenience foods.

On the other hand, time-saving convenience foods can be very good, and there's nothing wrong with starting with such a product and doctoring it up to suit your tastes, whatever your tastes happen to be. I don't make Kraft dinner very often, but I'd be more likely to make it than mac and cheese from scratch, partly because it's a childhood comfort food and partly because my doctored-up version (made with sour cream and some added cheese) is simpler and more foolproof than something that starts with cheese sauce, which requires getting out and measuring more ingredients, washing more dishes, and much more attention. If you time it start to finish, from getting out the ingredients to washing up afterward, I think you'll find that from-scratch macaroni and cheese does take considerably longer. You may well think it's worth the effort, but would you think so if you really hated cooking?

Which is not to say that I think all convenience products are worthwhile. It beats me why anyone makes Minute Rice, which takes nearly as long to cook as regular rice and is just as much trouble.

Anyway, what we consider to be "scratch" cooking today is very different from what people would have thought of it 100 years ago. If you use sugar that doesn't have to be grated, roasted coffee or packaged butter, you don't think of those things as convenience products.