In this day and age, a marriage proposal of any kind is inherently romantic, special and unique.

My not-yet-fiance just told my mother she could start looking for a wedding hall.

(We have been married for 24 years, now.)

Congratulations, Masi79. May you have many delicious years together.

(Poster’s Note: All entries in this particular topic: Need help for a proposal tonight are taken at face value. That is, the primary assumption is that everyone who posted here did so in good faith and with honest feelings. Nobody misrepresented their thoughts just to make a point. WYSIWYG. In the mind and out the mouth – or computer.)

There are many benefits of being an LTHer. Most have to do with learning about food, of course. Others have more to do with observing the human condition.

First, there is the accumulation of an individual member’s postings that create an impression in your mind of what that person might be like. While subject to all of the foibles of guessing about people from insufficient information, this process can be surprisingly accurate over time. Also, it requires some exercising of your imagination – much like the way that old-time radio programs are often more entertaining than watching TV.

Second, are the insights that you can gain into what factors motivate people to either like or dislike what they encounter in life. This can range from the type of salsa on the table in a Mexican restaurant to the intrusive (or not) noise that small children generate in a confined space and how it affects the dining experience.

But the non-food benefit I enjoy most from the Forum is the fun of following a Hijacked Topic (for the quintessential example, see Patty’s Diner - Closing in June [was- May], beginning on Page Three). You know the scenario – someone expresses an opinion that somehow irritates another member and that person posts their opinion of how wrong the first poster is to even have their opinion and the first poster responds with an explanation of what they really meant, while several others add their opinions about both opinions of the first two posters and their opinions about the subsequent opinions.

In short order, two or three pages of (often heated) exchanges replace the original subject matter and the Hijacked Topic becomes vitriolic until an Administrator reminds everybody of the intent of the Forum in a “Play Nicely, Kids” message. Then, someone apologizes and/or explains (justifies) what they really meant to say and other combatants respond with gracious replies of understanding. Occasionally, the topic actually returns to its original subject.

In the meantime, the non-involved reader has benefited by: 1) see above paragraph, beginning with “First…”; 2) see above paragraph, beginning with “Second…”; and, 3) being very amused for several days.

I love this Forum!

jimwdavis wrote:But the non-food benefit I enjoy most from the Forum is the fun of following a Hijacked Topic (for the quintessential example, see Patty’s Diner - Closing in June [was- May], beginning on Page Three). You know the scenario – someone expresses an opinion that somehow irritates another member and that person posts their opinion of how wrong the first poster is to even have their opinion and the first poster responds with an explanation of what they really meant, while several others add their opinions about both opinions of the first two posters and their opinions about the subsequent opinions.

Well said. It's pretty ridiculous here sometimes. People get offended by the tiniest thing that wasn't even meant to be offensive, just opinion. Makes me not even want to visit sometimes. It's a dogpile.

Since I helped get the topic off-topic, I guess I'll contribute it to putting it back on track.

Kurman Communications (food PR) is obviously doing their homework (and reading LTH). They just posted a blog about Karma, http://www.gotbuzzatkurman.com/2009/07/ ... karma.html, as the perfect proposal spot (giving LTH credit, of course).

Nice to know we're trend-setters. Of course, even though I'm not considering marriage, the comment about perfect food definitely interested me in Karma. However, I'm particularly pleased it turned out to be good because of the reason it was selected in this case.

Chitown B wrote:Well said. It's pretty ridiculous here sometimes. People get offended by the tiniest thing that wasn't even meant to be offensive, just opinion. Makes me not even want to visit sometimes. It's a dogpile.

Just to be clear, no one seemed offended by what you said. They think your comment was distasteful. There's a difference.

I think sometimes, in our eagerness to participate, we do not remember that electronic communication is not always effective communication. I have both misunderstood and been misunderstood, and I have seen fairly innocent comments set off an avalanche. Sometimes what looks questionable was meant as humor or was just not worded perfectly or was a way of inserting one's own experience. I do think that, often, the reaction is greater than whatever sets it off -- often, again, because everyone wants to participate. We do not merely tackle, we pile on.

Cynthia wrote: the comment about perfect food definitely interested me in Karma.

I haven't been to Karma under the current chef, but I will say the atmosphere is among the loveliest in the Chicago area. I know that's not an LTH priority, but if you ever feel the need to go somewhere calming, this is it.

jimwdavis wrote:But the non-food benefit I enjoy most from the Forum is the fun of following a Hijacked Topic (for the quintessential example, see Patty’s Diner - Closing in June [was- May], beginning on Page Three). You know the scenario – someone expresses an opinion that somehow irritates another member and that person posts their opinion of how wrong the first poster is to even have their opinion and the first poster responds with an explanation of what they really meant, while several others add their opinions about both opinions of the first two posters and their opinions about the subsequent opinions.

Well, I will just point out again my suggestion for dealing with hijacked threads: moving them to a Stir the Pot forum.

I for one did not find ChitownB's post as distasteful or pissy or whatever. It did not seem negative to me. I was surprised that it did to others. To me it's an example of how easily intentions can be misunderstood in written as opposed to verbal exchanges.

Chitown B wrote:
It's pretty ridiculous here sometimes. People get offended by the tiniest thing that wasn't even meant to be offensive, just opinion. Makes me not even want to visit sometimes. It's a dogpile.

It is what it is, its one of the better forums I belong to, if not the best. But it isnt for everyone.

There is a comaraderie, on this forum imho since so many folks have either broken bread with, or have met in other arenas. I think its a good thing, & I know it makes me think twice before posting too many smart ass comments. Since I know I may meet alot of these people face to face someday.

Katie wrote:I for one did not find ChitownB's post as distasteful or pissy or whatever. It did not seem negative to me. I was surprised that it did to others.

Are you serious? You don't find it distasteful to tell someone, "hey, you know that momentous event you just experienced, which, God willing, you'll only do once in your life, and will remember forever, that all your friends & family will ask you about incessantly for the next few months, that you'll hopefully tell your grandkids about down the road? The way you did it was so cliché & played out. The way I did it was better"? That surprises me.

Personally, I put it right up there with telling someone the degree they just earned is useless ("A Masters in Sociology? What WERE you thinking?"), the vows a newlywed couple wrote for each other were sappy & boring, telling a girl she's gained weight since you saw her last, or telling your wife you think her new hair style looks ugly or that that dress does, in fact, make her look fat.

jimswside wrote:There is a comaraderie, on this forum imho since so many folks have either broken bread with, or have met in other arenas. I think its a good thing, & I know it makes me think twice before posting too many smart ass comments. Since I know I may meet alot of these people face to face someday.

Jim nailed it. So many people get on the internet and seem to think anonymity means dispensing with basic civility. Putting faces with screen names is a great way to remind ourselves that there are real people behind the posts, and that the normal rules of social interaction apply here. Basically, I only say here what I would feel comfortable saying to that person's face over dinner

Khaopaat wrote:

jimswside wrote:There is a comaraderie, on this forum imho since so many folks have either broken bread with, or have met in other arenas. I think its a good thing, & I know it makes me think twice before posting too many smart ass comments. Since I know I may meet alot of these people face to face someday.

Jim nailed it. So many people get on the internet and seem to think anonymity means dispensing with basic civility. Putting faces with screen names is a great way to remind ourselves that there are real people behind the posts, and that the normal rules of social interaction apply here. Basically, I only say here what I would feel comfortable saying to that person's face over dinner

And covered in our posting guidelines:

- Posts and posters of all kinds, from highly expert to casually interested, are welcome here. But some kinds of posts can detract from the value of the site. Flamethrowing, trolling, baiting, and other sorts of Internet-speak for causing trouble do nothing for the community but unite it against you. If nothing else, please remember before you respond to someone that there's a good chance you'll actually MEET in person eventually. Play nice.

Khaopaat wrote:

Katie wrote:I for one did not find ChitownB's post as distasteful or pissy or whatever. It did not seem negative to me. I was surprised that it did to others.

Are you serious? You don't find it distasteful to tell someone, "hey, you know that momentous event you just experienced ...

Yes, I am serious. From his use of the word "suggest" I inferred that he was making a suggestion about a future event, and I take at face value, as jimwdavis recommended, his later statement that he didn't realize that his post was after the fact.

AT the danger of straying back ON topic, if anyone remembers the old Charley Aller's seafood restaurant that used to be near where Prairie Grass is now, that's where my hubby proposed to me on New Years Eve almost 28 years ago, with his mother's antique ring... I thought it was very romantic, and because of the bustle of the evening, I don't even think anyone else noticed...

I have a friend who proposed at the top of the St. Louis Arch. The surprise almost got spoiled as the ring set of the metal detector in security at the base, but he managed to get his fiancée distracted by something else while he showed the guard what the metal was.

I have another friend who proposed in a Japanese restaurant -- had the chef write "marry me" in sauce on the dinner plate (brought to the table covered).

Lot's of good options -- not that I think there's a bad option, if you've found the right person.

Katie wrote:

Khaopaat wrote:

Katie wrote:I for one did not find ChitownB's post as distasteful or pissy or whatever. It did not seem negative to me. I was surprised that it did to others.

Are you serious? You don't find it distasteful to tell someone, "hey, you know that momentous event you just experienced ...

Yes, I am serious. From his use of the word "suggest" I inferred that he was making a suggestion about a future event, and I take at face value, as jimwdavis recommended, his later statement that he didn't realize that his post was after the fact.

Yeah -- that was pretty much my take on the situation -- innocent (and pretty romantic) suggestion that was unintentionally given after the fact. It might have been impractical, given the time frame stated in the OP, but otherwise, it was simply bad timing, not an attack on the happiness of the couple.

Which brings up the problem of skimming rather than reading. I have no problem with skimming, with the overdose of material available on the net it is an important art to master. If you're going to post a reply on a forum, however, I think actually "reading" the posts is in order. If ChitownB had paid even a little attention to the thread he would would have known that he was posting 3 days after the proposal had happened.

One also has to take note of the "Mr. Green" smiley at the end of post in question which is commonly thought to represent a sneer.

Oy, let's realize there was an error in judgement and give this whole situation a break.

Regards,
Cathy2 for the moderators

***

My friend is an Scientist-Engineer, his proposal wasn't much of a proposal. He had already settled in his mind he was getting married, he simply asked, "We need to set a date for our marriage." That was first clue to his girlfriend of his intentions, she was as practical he was and pulled out the calendar to review.

Regards,

Cathy2 wrote:Oy, let's realize there was an error in judgement and give this whole situation a break.

What?! And deprive everyone of the opportunity to continue beating a dead horse?

Gypsy Boy wrote:

Cathy2 wrote:Oy, let's realize there was an error in judgement and give this whole situation a break.

What?! And deprive everyone of the opportunity to continue beating a dead horse?

Yeah, I am a buzz killer.

Regards,

We had dinner tonight at Karma, was one of the only places we could get in without a wait on Open Table and since we were suddenly and unexpectedly without children, thought it was worth a try.

It was a really good meal. We shared crabcakes and lobster rolls to start, those were ok, the cakes not tremendously crabby but good flavor. Nice sauces for dipping for both. My husband had a salad that he inhaled, I had a creamy shrimp coconut soup with chili oil, i'm not describing it right, but it was GREAT. Made the meal IMO. My husband enjoyed a NY strip and I had a halibut with shrimp/scallop topper. Came with terrific forbidden rice and a nice assortment of stirfried veggies. Nice quantity, well cooked, just very delicious. We shared a dark chocolate mousse cake with a currant coulis, no coffee, taking meds so no wine but 2 drinks, about $135 I believe. A little pricier than our typical dinner out, but the ambiance was lovely and we really enjoyed everything.

It was this thread that had me thinking of it as an option, so I thought I'd share. No proposal though.

scottsol wrote:Which brings up the problem of skimming rather than reading. I have no problem with skimming, with the overdose of material available on the net it is an important art to master. If you're going to post a reply on a forum, however, I think actually "reading" the posts is in order. If ChitownB had paid even a little attention to the thread he would would have known that he was posting 3 days after the proposal had happened.

One also has to take note of the "Mr. Green" smiley at the end of post in question which is commonly thought to represent a sneer.

what? it's a wide smile, meant to convey extra happiness.

wow.

I might be too late for the original poster, though someone out there might want this:

Tie the KNot with the $10 Dinner Box

Package includes:
- Red ruby ring
- Limo service
- Flowers
- Fireworks show
- Photographer
- Videographer
- $10 Dinner Box

Entire package cost: $10,010.

Get on this quick! Only 10 packages available for purchase through 2/14/12.

If package not used by 3/31/12, we'll refund the total cost.

Love is in the air!

Cathy2 wrote:I might be too late for the original poster, though someone out there might want this:

Tie the KNot with the $10 Dinner Box

Package includes:
- Red ruby ring
- Limo service
- Flowers
- Fireworks show
- Photographer
- Videographer
- $10 Dinner Box

Entire package cost: $10,010.

Get on this quick! Only 10 packages available for purchase through 2/14/12.

If package not used by 3/31/12, we'll refund the total cost.

Love is in the air!

Damn. I'm $10 short.

Steve,
If you've got the first $10(K) covered, I'll spring for the last $10 for you. (Does the ChowPoodle know you're in the market?)

stevez wrote:Damn. I'm $10 short.

See if they can hold the $10 box. And if not, find a creative way to ask for what you want - you know, like this guy.

Cathy2 wrote:I might be too late for the original poster, though someone out there might want this:

Tie the KNot with the $10 Dinner Box

From the fine print...

We may substitute listed products with equivalent value products.

"Oops...we couldn't find a ruby ring, but here's $9,000 worth of pizza."

If my guy wouldn't have the sense enough to just buy me a fresh $10 pizza from ANYWHERE ELSE instead of $10,000 worth of rubies/limos/fireworks, the relationship would be dead before the box was open.

I thought this was a joke!

Chitown B wrote:

scottsol wrote:Which brings up the problem of skimming rather than reading. I have no problem with skimming, with the overdose of material available on the net it is an important art to master. If you're going to post a reply on a forum, however, I think actually "reading" the posts is in order. If ChitownB had paid even a little attention to the thread he would would have known that he was posting 3 days after the proposal had happened.

One also has to take note of the "Mr. Green" smiley at the end of post in question which is commonly thought to represent a sneer.

what? it's a wide smile, meant to convey extra happiness.

wow.

I thought it meant "no harm intended, I'm just being a smart-ass."

Pie Lady wrote:If my guy wouldn't have the sense enough to just buy me a fresh $10 pizza from ANYWHERE ELSE instead of $10,000 worth of rubies/limos/fireworks, the relationship would be dead before the box was open.

I thought this was a joke!

I totally agree with that. On the other hand I am sure there is somebody out there for whom it would be the perfect proposal. Its all about making the person you are proposing to and yourself happy, who cares if another person thinks its stupid or cliche!!

On a different note, I thoroughly enjoyed this post on a slow friday afternoon, so thanks Cathy2 for bringing it up again.