I had wrote up this review in June right before my summer vacation, it's about time I got it off my chest & hard drive!
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Capt'n Porky's - Folks, I'm just not getting it...As I read through positive review, after positive review. No scratch that, more like GLOWING and gushing reviews. There's no denying that there is a love affair with Porky’s & LTH. This obviously means I’m puzzled by this place having garnered a GNH designation at all.
I missed the big group hug on this one. To state it quite bluntly, I simply don’t like this place... at all.
It's a dumpy shack off the beaten path with no seating, serving mediocre food, with unimpressive service, even by Northern Lake County & Zion standards. I should know, I live 15 minutes away in the soulless chain town of Gurnee, so I really wish they were better.
Based on the buzz around LTH, I took my wife for yet another foray to the one and only GNR of the far north. Figuring that maybe I’m missing something, perhaps I just haven’t been there when it’s “on”.
This trip would be my forth very unimpressive visit to Capt'n Porky’s over the last 4 years, and I’m fairly certain, this was my last.
We ordered the medium shrimp dinner, a cod dinner and the Cajun marinated Jumbo Shrimp. I also got a half rack of ribs since for once, the smoker was actually running and Dino was running the show behind the counter. On all three of my previous visits he had been absent, but seeing him there this time; I started to think that this might turn out to be that magical visit that I had never before acquired, in reality, not so.
The order was bagged to go of course, and we drove over to the nearby McDonald's parking lot to eat. I wanted to dig in while it was hot! We quickly set up the car smorgasbord and went to work right away.
First up were the medium shrimp, they were awful! Clearly frozen, not fresh, they had a unpleasant odor, and the breading was bubbled into a hard expanded bread shell around each of the shrimp, almost like a thick breading cocoon. The fish was made with the same horrible breading as the shrimp, it too did not smell fresh, and had the same cocoon amour breading as well. Both items were just nasty, my wife choked down more than me, but its final destination was the McDonald's trashcan.
I moved on to the ribs; while ordering I had noticed that Capt’n Porky’s keeps some of the BBQ sitting in the south facing glass deli case. This isn't any kind of warm holding temperature case but rather, a cooler, where the BBQ sits until served. The ribs were barely OK, they were a little cold, and had a very heavy sooty charcoal taste. The ribs are very plain, meaning there’s not a lot of rub or seasoning applied to the meat, and the sauce is absolutely terrible. The ribs were edible, but they're certainly nothing to gloat about.
Next up; the Jumbo Gulf shrimp
Alright, the jumbo gulf shrimp are something noteworthy, especially the Cajun marinated spicy ones. And Porky’s fans; if you haven't tried the Cajun shrimp, then you've missed out on the one and only thing that's really good here. I'll also concede that overall the price to quantity ratio is excellent; so they are big in the value category. But after that, it’s all downhill.
My summary goes like this: lousy BBQ, low quality fish and shrimp, and exceptional jumbo gulf shrimp, and zero atmosphere. Porky's scores a 5 out of a possible 10 pts, heres my breakdown:
Taste: 4
Experience: 3
Value 8
SCORE: 5.0
Of course as fate would have it, the very next night we were in Rogers Park by the Fish Keg on Howard. So I insisted on late night stop, my wife who is always the good sport, agreed and went along for the ride. The taste test was on!
At The Fish Keg we ordered the medium Gulf Shrimp, and the Cod, (BBQ is not offered), but I’m talking fish monger to fish monger here.
It was ruled a “No contest!” The Fish keg easily kicked the crap out of Porky’s without even trying.
The Fish Kegs shrimp were fresh and succulent, not oily and the signature breading was just perfect. The cod was also fresh and delicious.
I don’t know what else to say other than; while all you LTH city folk are driving up here to eat the drek at Porky’s, I’ll just keep trekking on down to the Fish Keg for the really good stuff!