Veal saltimbocca at Tavern on the Park. Dumb, dumb, dumb. For that matter, our entire, boring and uninspired meal at Tavern on the Park Monday night, selected mainly because of its proximity to the Harris Theater, was in retrospect a dumb decision. I won't detail the full meal, but the dumb dish in question consisted of two (generous) slabs of dried shoe leather, adorned neatly with large sheets of what (nominally) was supposed to be prosciutto, but was remarkably like two extra-large leaves of chipped beef. All this set atop a plate of overcooked gemelli pasta in a dull, flavorless red sauce (pasta and sauce both could have been Barilla). To their credit, they did put some nicely fried up sage on top. This dish at Tavern on the Park was such a dismal failure, I made sure to go to Sabatino's on Tuesday and order their veal saltimbocca just to make sure ... yep, I love a good veal saltimbocca.

I had a similar experience at Tavern at the Park. A coworker chose to dine there to celebrate his birthday. Never having eaten there, I went into the lunch with no expectations. Ordered the prime rib sandwich expecting shaved slices of prime rib. Instead I was given a thick slab of flavorless, excessively fatty prime rib on a roll completely smothered in melted cheese. It was utterly disappointing. To add insult to injury, the 3 of us who took the coworker out to lunch had to cover the cost of his meal as well. I paid $30 for an absolutely horrendous lunch outing. Never again will Tavern at the Park see me darken their doorway.

JimInLoganSquare wrote:Veal saltimbocca at Tavern on the Park. Dumb, dumb, dumb. For that matter, our entire, boring and uninspired meal at Tavern on the Park Monday night, selected mainly because of its proximity to the Harris Theater, was in retrospect a dumb decision. I won't detail the full meal, but the dumb dish in question consisted of two (generous) slabs of dried shoe leather, adorned neatly with large sheets of what (nominally) was supposed to be prosciutto, but was remarkably like two extra-large leaves of chipped beef. All this set atop a plate of overcooked gemelli pasta in a dull, flavorless red sauce (pasta and sauce both could have been Barilla). To their credit, they did put some nicely fried up sage on top. This dish at Tavern on the Park was such a dismal failure, I made sure to go to Sabatino's on Tuesday and order their veal saltimbocca just to make sure ... yep, I love a good veal saltimbocca.

I had a three dollar diet coke at Tavern on the Park. They didn't put enough ice in it.

Luckyguy wrote:I'd never underestimate the breadth of your palate, Gary,

Never mind that, imagine the breath on his palate!

If I ever have to read another thread with Gary talking about eating ass, I'm done forever (eating that is...uhhhh /shiver)

Two entries for this one.
1. "Chili Chicken" from Baba Palace for lunch. Totally dumb.

2. I've lived in/around this fair city for 30 some odd years. Born at Pres St Lukes or Rush or Rush St Lukes, however you wanna call it. That hospital off the Ike. I remember Just W of UIC being a flipping warzone complete with smoldering buildings almost every day of the week. Same thing around Lake and Oakley. Well, blah blah, blah, my point was gonna be that I've had my fair share of pizza. All these years and opportunities, and I have never, ever really even put serious thought to trying a piece of "Hawaiian Pizza." I've heard time and time again about how wonderful it is, and how the pineapple, and ham and cheese are made for each other. Countless times I've heard that. It somewhat makes sense. I'm familiar with tastebuds and how they work. Salt, fat, and sugar is a good thing in my book. But something so sacred, like pizza..I just could never bring myself to do it. Anyway, corporate lunch,
folks from out of town...Denver, NY, Arizona, posh hotel (Hilton Suites off Michigan,) the event planner goes the "taste of Chicago" route with a meal, and in come the Giordano's pizzas. Stuffed, thin, sausage, veggie, pepperoni, spinach, mushrooms, and..."The Hawaiian." Aifter all my years of avoiding it, I caved. It was basically how I pictured it being. Plain out fucking stupid. I really don't swear much if at all on this board. I really just can't think of any other words to describe that thing. The sum of its parts add up to be just plain out dumb. I was hoping I was wrong, but after all these years of wondering why so many ppl would think pineapple and ham on a pizza is a great combo, my instincts were validated in my mind. Just absolutely stupid. This, to me, would top the list of food that some housefrau with no clue would talk about to all her friends after trying, and claiming it to be the best thing ever invented. Like, someone who needs a recipe to make potato salad, and measures out ground pepper from the mccormick ground pepper container that's been in the pantry for five years, and is their only source for pepper in the house besides the tan shaker on the table with the white bottom. I guess I've prolly wandered off topic too far already, but Hawaiian pizza is gonna go on my list with "Deli Style" meats and Miracle Whip. Just fucking stupid. I could leave out letters in those vulgar words, and replace them with special characters, sure. I don't think the point I'm trying to make would come across as well. I apologize to those who think this is too vulgar, I really do, but in all honesty, vulgarity was not my point here. I really could find no other word to explain.

pure gluttony(everything was awesome, I just couldnt move after eating it all), I was so stuffed I called the night quits @ 8:00 p.m.


- steady dose of beer since 11:30 a.m.
-1-1/2 racks of bb ribs
-4 ABT's
-a green salad with onion, carrots, cucumber, bacon, pasta, hardboiled egg, cheese and ranch.

seebee wrote:...and..."The Hawaiian." Aifter all my years of avoiding it, I caved. It was basically how I pictured it being. Plain out fucking stupid. I really don't swear much if at all on this board. I really just can't think of any other words to describe that thing. The sum of its parts add up to be just plain out dumb. I was hoping I was wrong, but after all these years of wondering why so many ppl would think pineapple and ham on a pizza is a great combo, my instincts were validated in my mind. Just absolutely stupid.

Seebee,

Totally respect where you're coming from here - I've always thought it a pretty nasty combination. That said, I was making pies on the grill one night and saw that I had half a fresh pineapple and some leftover Kite's VA Country Ham* in the fridge. I went ahead and gave it a shot, and it was good. I think canned pineapple + processed "ham" = nasty pizza, but using good stuff, I rather liked it. Now, I haven't made it since, and it's not on the top of my list of variations to make next time, but at least I know that it can be good.

-Dan

* Actually, I always have pieces of this on-hand. In fact, I had some with my eggs this morning.

seebee wrote:2. <rant>"Hawaiian Pizza."</rant>

A people-person might have phrased it as "I don't like Hawaiian pizza", but I guess your way works too

Personally, I'm a fan of (good, not crappy, pre-processed) Hawaiian pizza. There are things I'm not a fan of that others might enjoy, but I'll refrain from ranting & cussing about them here.

seebee wrote:The sum of its parts add up to be just plain out dumb. I was hoping I was wrong, but after all these years of wondering why so many ppl would think pineapple and ham on a pizza is a great combo, my instincts were validated in my mind. Just absolutely stupid.

Moving to Mexico City from Chicago in the early-1990s (where I lived/worked for 6 years) I noticed, almost immediately, that the most popular pizza was Hawiian. "Hawiian!" I thought to myself, "Who would eat such a thing?" Not just Hawiian, but Hawiian with ketchup smothered on top of it (ketchup is a hugely popular pizza condiment in Mexico City, followed in preference by Salsa Bufalo). Since no or few better options than Domino's (or Pizza Hut) branded pizzas were available in the city, I went with the flow . . . and developed a liking for the Hawiian . . . sans the ketchup, though. Such is life - adaptation. I've seen/heard of many varieties of pizza toppings I've thought odd - including anchovies - but when I've eventually tried them I've enjoyed them (such as the anchovies on Coalfire's pizzas) even though they're not ones I'd regularly of oftentimes order. I've limited my eating of Hawiian to my continuing visits to Mexico City, though, and it's not something I'd want to be seen eating in Chicago.

I guess this isint something I have eaten but.....

I was making a chipotle-sweet potato-apple soup on a Saturday afternoon for Sunday dinner. Long story short, I had to drive to the suburbs and on my way back, I accidentally adjusted a my contact lens. I guess I didnt wash my hand well enough. The chipotle pepper residue melted the lens on contact and I had to drive home in the rain with one eye.

Very very dumb.

Khaopaat wrote:A people-person

And then rolled eyes.

I would never, for as long as I live, attempt a retort. It's simply not needed.

Khaopaat, I get what you're saying tho. Rant? Yes. Hyperbole? Yes. Am I a jerk? Absolutely.
My opinion is still that Hawaiian pizza with canned pineapple, and whatever ham that was was totally dumb. I could never see the point of paying the amount a pizza costs these days for something like THAT. Sausage and hot giardiniera is what's up if I'm paying. I'm sure that many others would think snausage and giardiniera is dumb too.

But come on, we all know they are wrong.

Im not a big pizza eater, maybe once a month (sausage, Italian beef, giardinara). But I thought a Hawaiian pizza I tried wasn't that bad(pineapple,ham, bbq sauce). Giordanos on the other hand, I find their chain pizza some of the worst I have had.

I guess I believe different strokes, as long as i dont have to eat something I am not fond of its all good. If others enjoy it, I say let them.

I don't know, there's a nice sweet-savory thing going on in a Hawaiian pizza. I make them at home, the kids like them. Not saying I'd order one in a place with great housemade Chicago-Italian sausage, but I did order one a couple of months ago at Sioux Falls, S.D.'s #1 pizza.

Saturday night 8:00 show at the Int'l Film Fest at AMC River East. We got there very early - before 7. The Lucky Strike Bowling Lanes and restaurant were right there and we were feeling lazy and had time to spare. Why did I have food there? Why did I eat half a limp, gray, dry mini burger and lukewarm soggy fries? Why didn't I just drink my beer and then get a bag of popcorn to eat during the movie? Why, why, why?

Hellodali wrote:Why didn't I just drink my beer and then get a bag of popcorn to eat during the movie? Why, why, why?

Or walk the one block to Fox & Obel for pastry?! F & O sticky bun beats popcorn for AMC River East movie every time.

Or one block the other way for a Gyros melt at CND. Sorry to pile on

Oh, I know there were other choices in the area - I could see F&O beckoning, but my friend wanted to stay put. My stupidity therefore was in eating, period.

Eeeeew. This isn't from a restaurant but I feel so dumb for this- I bought the really cheap american cheese from the corner store(For a grilled cheese, American is my preference). Here are the ingredients:

Water, Palm Oil, Cornstarch, Gelatin and or Casein Whey, Modified Potato Starch, Sodium Ctrate, Salt, Carrageenan, Kasal, Lactic Acid, Natural and Atificial Favoring, Sorbic Acid as a Peservative, Citric Acid, Annatto and Oleoresin Paprika Color(if colored).

Not only do I not recognize half of these ingredients, I don't see any dairy. Needless to say it tasted disgusting and immediately broke down into a curdled orange paste once heated, which is what prompted me to check the ingredients in the first place. Turns out its called "pasteurized process cheese food". Eew.

They are not "Hawaiian" pizza's.

They are Don Ho's

AngrySarah wrote:I don't like smelly cheese. Limburger is really, really smelly cheese.

It tasted like ass.

Hey, that's what we thought too!

Beets, beets and more beets. After a particularly hungry day at the farmers' market, I bought six big bunches of beets- about 24 beets. Did I say that I really appreciate a well prepared beet? At any rate, I pickled them in a horseradish pickling liquid and they were delicious....so delicious that I consumed most of them in one sitting as dinner. As a result, I learned that beets are a high fiber food. It's a lesson I won't soon forget.

"BBQ" at Dillon's Restaurant in Sun City, AZ. This is BBQ for those entering their second century on this planet. "Burnt ends" that were really just mushy meat cubes, and "smoked turkey" that tasted like it came right from the deli counter at the local supermarket. Not really sure what I was thinking trying a BBQ place in one of America's largest retirement communities.

Beef Stroganoff at a bowling alley in Dickinson North Dakota. They had an open kitchen so I got to see them throw the plastic bag into the boiling water. Actually, most of what I ate in Dickinson is a contender for dumbest thing I've eaten. It's worth driving to Minot or Fargo (where I've actually had some very good meals)

a few weekends back, Tasting Table's blog noted the "Taste of Melrose Park", and,
I dunno what came over me- but maybe I "felt" the food there would somehow
be more "authentic" than "The TasteLESS of Chicago".

Stupid me.
So, strolling to the tunes of Francis Albert Sinatra, looking at less than healthy families lickin' their chops-we stepped up to The Fried Bologna Sandwich vendor.
"Two Bucks" the lady stated- "Do you wannit wit everything?"
and- what exactly is everything, I meekly inquired?
"Fried Onions and Mustard" she replied- ......I'm in!

What show's up in my dinky 3" red cardboard "boat"?

ONE slice of generic white bread,a a folded over slice of said greazzy fried bologna,yellow mustard and 1/2 way done electric skillet griddled onions-
I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN LESS PLEASED!
Not even .25 cents of food product involved in that "Sandwich"- (musta been all the Labor and R & D behind that culinary Masterpiece!)

Did I "bin it" immediately (as our Aussie poster was want to comment)- NO-
I kinda 1/2 way ate it- "kindly" offering up the rest to my lovable gal pal!
What a Guy!

Won't be seeing me at The taste of MP next year!

A few months ago I started feeling ill on a Friday afternoon and by that evening I thought I was going to die. I had nothing but water all weekend as it was all I could hold down. By Monday I thought I was well enough to make it to work and had a ton to do so I hauled my butt downtown.

About noon I was actually feeling peckish - good news! No time for a real lunch though so let's see what's in the company cafeteria...
"Hey is that chilli?!"

12:30 - "That hit the spot!"
1:30 - "Umm..."
2:00 -

Now that, my fellow LTH'rs, is some super concentrated dumb.

Attrill wrote:Beef Stroganoff at a bowling alley in Dickinson North Dakota. They had an open kitchen so I got to see them throw the plastic bag into the boiling water.

That method of cooking is known as sous vide. I'm sorry that you are not sophisticated enough to appreciate such cutting-edge culinary technique, but I have just booked the next flight to Dickinson, North Dakota where I will commence an eating tour of the various bowling alleys, asking the kitchens to cook for me and wow me with their avant-garde creations.

cilantro wrote:

Attrill wrote:Beef Stroganoff at a bowling alley in Dickinson North Dakota. They had an open kitchen so I got to see them throw the plastic bag into the boiling water.

That method of cooking is known as sous vide. I'm sorry that you are not sophisticated enough to appreciate such cutting-edge culinary technique, but I have just booked the next flight to Dickinson, North Dakota where I will commence an eating tour of the various bowling alleys, asking the kitchens to cook for me and wow me with their avant-garde creations.

Well that explains a lot. I thought the guy next to me looked like Graham Elliot. I guess the trucker hat and 3 days beard growth just threw me for a loop.

Attrill wrote:Beef Stroganoff at a bowling alley in Dickinson North Dakota. They had an open kitchen so I got to see them throw the plastic bag into the boiling water. Actually, most of what I ate in Dickinson is a contender for dumbest thing I've eaten. It's worth driving to Minot or Fargo (where I've actually had some very good meals)

Spent some time in Dickinson during wheat harvest 40 or so years ago, you should see Friday night at the Legion Hall. Better yet, breakfast with the harvest workers drinking tomato juice with beer.

Hombre de Acero wrote:a few weekends back, Tasting Table's blog noted the "Taste of Melrose Park", and,
I dunno what came over me- but maybe I "felt" the food there would somehow
be more "authentic" than "The TasteLESS of Chicago".

Stupid me.
So, strolling to the tunes of Francis Albert Sinatra, looking at less than healthy families lickin' their chops-we stepped up to The Fried Bologna Sandwich vendor.
"Two Bucks" the lady stated- "Do you wannit wit everything?"
and- what exactly is everything, I meekly inquired?
"Fried Onions and Mustard" she replied- ......I'm in!

What show's up in my dinky 3" red cardboard "boat"?

ONE slice of generic white bread,a a folded over slice of said greazzy fried bologna,yellow mustard and 1/2 way done electric skillet griddled onions-
I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN LESS PLEASED!
Not even .25 cents of food product involved in that "Sandwich"- (musta been all the Labor and R & D behind that culinary Masterpiece!)

Did I "bin it" immediately (as our Aussie poster was want to comment)- NO-
I kinda 1/2 way ate it- "kindly" offering up the rest to my lovable gal pal!
What a Guy!

Won't be seeing me at The taste of MP next year!

I can't believe nobody has commented on this yet.

Surely there were other items at the festival that made up for your dislike of the fried bologna, which I admit is not for everyone (though I am a huge fan). Did you read through the thread on this before you went? Taste of MP is one of the best food festivals in the city, and I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it.

Hombre de Acero wrote:"Taste of Melrose Park"

And just think, you just got a TASTE of the MP.
Imagine/pitty the poor schlubs who have to endure
the full-on effect of actually living there. /jk