Fortune Cookies

I confess, not only do I eat the fortune cookies at the end of my Asian restaurant meals, but I also enjoy them. They are so bland, so crunchy…it adds a final structure to all that wiggley stuff I’ve put in my stomach during the meal. That being said, I also look forward to reading my fortune. Over the years I’ve kept the ones that I wanted in my life. I’ve stuck them in my wallet, jabbed them up on my bulletin board at work. Sometimes I get fed up with them all, and toss them out into the trash. However, little by little, bit by bit, they start to populate back into my wallet and on my bulliten board. As I ponder this, it occurs to me that a fortune cookie’s fortune doesn’t tell me what to do or who I am. It is the fortunes that I save that define who I am and what I desire. Right now I’ve got three fortunes on my bulletin board. They are:

Get ready for a daring adventure
You create your own stage. The audience is waiting
Prosperity will knock on your door soon

Are you willing to share the fortunes you have kept?

Taped to my monitor here at work: Success is a journey not a destination, stop running.

I have a few others, but they aren't handy at the moment.

I love fortune cookies too. We go to Chinatown's bakeries and buy a big bag of them for around $5. They are not individully wrapped (better for the environment) and taste the same. My kids will take a sealed bag to school and give to the teacher to pass out in class. The kids love it. I do not know how fattening they are but they seem to be so bland and dry that they could not have a lot of sugar and fat in them.

Some of the most memorable throughout the years...

You love Chinese food.

You will receive a fortune (cookie).

For years I was convinced there was a little old Chinese man sitting in a basement somewhere in San Francisco's Chinatown typing these up on a rickety typewriter while chuckling.

Don't give a man a fish, but teach him how to fish.

Old joke, and title to one of comedian Alan King's books:

"Help! I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery"

On my desk:

Your random act of kindness today will spread quickly to others.

You will soon be confronted with unlimited opportunities. (still waiting . . .)

Ronna

You will find true love on Flag Day.

"You will have success in the field of medical research"

No I am not making that up.

Matt wrote:You will find true love on Flag Day.

Nice! A couple other favorites:
"You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial."
"Your store is being robbed, Apu."

Khaopaat...are you serious? Those fortunes are a riot!

razbry wrote:Khaopaat...are you serious? Those fortunes are a riot!

Ummm...errr...Matt started it

All three of those are from the Simpsons episode where Homer is hired by a Chinese restaurant to write fortunes.

Homer also came up with "The price of stamps will climb ever higher", "You will invent a humorous toilet lid", "You will take a short sea voyage" (which Captain McAllister fortuitously receives, and responds, "Yarrrr, I'll enjoy that"), and "You are a real winner" (which Lenny receives, and says, "That fortune really nailed me! And my winning ways!").

I watch too much TV.

Lan's (R.I.P.) on Armitage used to give out cookies with X-rated fortunes (on request).

My mother always talks about a fortune she received somewhere out West when we were on vacation: “You have an appointment with a hair dresser. Keep it; you need it.”

Khaopaat wrote:

razbry wrote:Khaopaat...are you serious? Those fortunes are a riot!

Ummm...errr...Matt started it

All three of those are from the Simpsons episode where Homer is hired by a Chinese restaurant to write fortunes.

Homer also came up with "The price of stamps will climb ever higher", "You will invent a humorous toilet lid", "You will take a short sea voyage" (which Captain McAllister fortuitously receives, and responds, "Yarrrr, I'll enjoy that"), and "You are a real winner" (which Lenny receives, and says, "That fortune really nailed me! And my winning ways!").

I watch too much TV.

In that same episode, Woody Allen plays himself as a fortune cookie writer (introduced by murmuring to himself "What am I doing here? I should be in New York writing riddles on Popsicle sticks. Then I'd be making a difference."). Love this bit of dialogue between Woody and a fellow fortune cookie writer after Homer throws out some possible fortunes on the spot:

Woody Allen: "That is . . . he's like a young me"
Other Fortune Cookie Writer: "Please, Yung Mi was a hack compared to this guy."

All three of those are from the Simpsons episode where Homer is hired by a Chinese restaurant to write fortunes.

Matt and Kahopaat....you bad boys! I should have known better. Frankly I'm surprised I didn't recognize the fortunes. My son (now 17) has been forcing me to watch the Simpsons for years. I myself have a fondness for the Mr Hanky episodes.

razbry wrote:I myself have a fondness for the Mr Hanky episodes.

If we're thinking of the same character, I believe you're referring to Mr. Hankey from Southpark, which has actually been getting pretty good over the past few years in its social awareness/commentary...much less subtle than The Simpsons, but much more timely due to the 1-to-2-week turnaround from initial idea to final production for each episode. I thought last week's Glenn Beck satire was excellent...ridiculously over-the-top, yet spot-on.

Back on the fortune cookie topic, you might enjoy these two sites:
http://joshmadison.com/article/fortune-cookie-fortunes/
http://www.fortunecookiemessage.com/

I love making giant fortune cookies as gifts. I did these for a friend's birthday last year.

tgoddess...those are beautiful! Are they hard to make?

I hope this doesn't qualify me for the next episode of "Hoarders", but I have kept every fortune since I met my husband in 2000. I keep them in a special area in my purse until I have too many, then I move those to a drawer at home where I have 100s tucked away (not sure what I ever plan to do with them).

Today is our 2-year wedding anniversary and my favorites were the two we got from Fabulous Noodles a few weeks before our wedding. We always pick the cookie for each other after our meal and read the other person's fortune. On this particular day, we carefully picked the other's cookie only to discover we each had the same fortune. It's the only time it has ever happened to us, so I took it as a good sign.
I don't have those with me right now, but her are a few from the fortune-stuffed section of my purse:

Speak only well of people and you need never whisper.

Do not give a man a fish, but teach him how to fish.

Be prepared to modify your plan.

Your best investment is in yourself.

Someone would love to cuddle up with you.

Good things come to those who wait but only the things left by those who hustle.

Three faves up on my office bulletin board:

You will provide value with no need of money.
You are both ingenious and methodical.
Accept the next proposition you hear.

I used fortune cookies in a Chinese take-out box as a favor for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah lunch. We printed our own label on the computer that said "You had the good fortune to attend R--'s Bat Mitzvah." I filled the boxes from a bag of 200 cookies bought in Chinatown and sealed the box with a gold sticker. Cheap and cute.

Rasbry,

Not difficult to make at all. I use this recipe and just make jumbo-sized ones. The most important think I learned is to not try to make too many at one time, as they'll harden before you get to them and you won't be able to fold them into the fortune cookie shape.

http://chinesefood.about.com/od/diningout/r/fortunecookie.htm

Two stand out

One Bill received at a Japanese tea house in San Francisco, just past the half-way mark on an epic cross-country road trip with the kids:
"In the road of life, you are in the driver's seat."

One that I received at Moon Palace which really has become one of my guiding principles in life:
"The smallest deed is better than the grandest good intention."

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day,
Teach a man to fish and he spends the rest of his life in a small boat drinking beer!

"That wasn't chicken."

This confidence booster adorns the lower right corner of my computer monitor:

"Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout."

Must have been a different kind of day at the printing factory

Doing my annual holiday season desk cleaning, I found this one:

"An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly!"

I usually only keep the happy fortunes - - but this one was strange enough to keep around.

Ronna

"See next cookie"

Sharona wrote:For years I was convinced there was a little old Chinese man sitting in a basement somewhere in San Francisco's Chinatown typing these up on a rickety typewriter while chuckling.

My grandfather entered a business arrangement with a Chinese man in 1963 - a joint restaurant American/Chinese restaurant in the middle of farm fields. My mom tells of serving white rolls with the chop suey at first, lol.

Eventually, the restaurant became very busy and at some point Tom inherited a noodle and cookie factory from his father, if I remember the story correctly. My mom managed the restaurant and was the interface between the front and back of house; they decided that because she was college educated she would be able to write excellent inserts for the cookies.

For about a year, she scoured her brain to think of clever things to print on those cookies. This was the early 70's, if I am remembering correctly. She definitely wasn't chuckling! She found it to one of the more difficult things she'd ever done. I never asked her who did the typing, lol.

I've been lucky to get a few bicycle-themed fortunes over the years. Two I remember:

See the world on two wheels.

You can't ride in all directions at once.

(Of course, I've decided that these fortunes are referring to bicycle-, as opposed to motorcycle- or Segway-, riding...)