Rye and Prejudice: 1. In which The Bagel earns our contempt

I know what The Bagel is and what it is not. Consequently, I rarely go there. But feeling a bit under the weather, I decided that a chicken soup-and-half-sandwich between shows at Timeline might be just the thing. (I've always found Bamee pretty mediocre, so the alternative of a bracing Tom Yum was not available.)

So, I go in and place my order with the counterman. He displays the deli-man's requisite barely concealed contempt for me and my ridiculous order but somehow, perhaps because he's not a landsman, there's no trace of the playful challenge beneath the surly---just surly.

Then, I remember to add, "and mustard on the corned beef and rye, please." To which he replies: "I'll give you packets; I can't put it on because they're pre-made."

A prize to whomever comes up with the longest list of things wrong with that response.

A deli "pre-makes" their corned beef on rye sandwiches? And admits it??

Just how much time are they saving over having a brisket on/near the slicer and slicing to order? This ain't the garment district. The traffic in sandwiches just isn't that heavy. I feel they could handle it.

And how exactly is it impossible to dress one of these "pre-made" sandwiches with mustard? It's hermetically sealed? The bread cannot be lifted off the top?

Bad enough that the half sandwich/soup combo is $10. ($12 with tax.) It's an acceptable sandwich, portion-wise, but certainly not one of those Carnegie Deli meat mountains with a little rye yarmulke on top. Really, $7-8 ought to cover it. Especially with a soup that does not scream on-site simmered chickens to me and a kreplach whose filling might be pencil shavings or cat litter or almost anything.

The final straw: I get back to the dressing room to find not even mustard packets. And the dry CB on Rye turns to ashes in my mouth.

The Bagel is god-awful, period. After a very long absence we stopped in for breakfast and it was below road-trip HoJo's standards; overcooked, dry omelet; low-end lox. Never again.

I feel your pain, mrbarolo. There are some days one just wants some healing, good chicken soup and a decent cb sandwich on rye (with mustard!), by which I don't mean a pre-made one. Blecch!

I have never understood the love for The Bagel. When it moved from Devon to Broadway almost 20 years ago, it was meh. The Old Orchard location is downright awful, in my opinion, and yet it stays in business. I have to wonder if the very small number of good Jewish-style delis in the Chicago area means that a poor one can keep going--either because of unfilled demand or ignorance of what genuinely competent deli food should taste like.

I get to The Bagel (on Broadway) maybe once a month, and I've enjoyed my visits. I've been a customer at that location for many years. I don't understand why they'd be pre-making sandwiches (or just the corned beef sandwiches), but I'll ask the management about that the next time I visit. I'd also be disappointed if something similar occurred with my order.

I've never gotten take out from The Bagel, but I've always thought it was fine. I usually get the nova platter, and while the quality has been somewhat variable I've never found it to be terrible (and when it's been good it's been quite good). The bagels, on the other hand, can be really terrible. I now specifically instruct them not to toast my bagels until right before they bring them to the table. Otherwise, the bagels tend to be toasted when you put in your order resulting in a cold, hard bagel-like mass being delivered to the table with the rest of your food.

Then it's not fine. Variable quality and rock-hard, cold, pre-toasted bagels are not fine. Needing to make a special request just to avoid same, also not fine.
Another 6 blocks or so and you could be at Frances'. (Of course, even Frances' is not the Frances' of old, but it's a cut above Bagel.)
Back in the day---by which I mean when it cost about $8---a weekend morning with Frances' lox plate and the paper spread out in front of me was a reason to live.)

EvA wrote:I have never understood the love for The Bagel.

Free parking?

mrbarolo wrote:Then it's not fine. Variable quality and rock-hard, cold, pre-toasted bagels are not fine. Needing to make a special request just to avoid same, also not fine.
Another 6 blocks or so and you could be at Frances'. (Of course, even Frances' is not the Frances' of old, but it's a cut above Bagel.)
Back in the day---by which I mean when it cost about $8---a weekend morning with Frances' lox plate and the paper spread out in front of me was a reason to live.)

Fine = mediocre

I'm not saying The Bagel is the greatest thing in the world, but if you know how to navigate it's fine for what it is.

I've had the opposite experience with the men and women working the take-out counter. They've always ranged from polite but quiet to very friendly and nice. My doctor is in the building and sometimes it's been a nice pick-me-up to get recognized by the takeout people when I was under the weather.

I wouldn't say it's a great all-round restaurant but I really like the chopped liver, the cabbage soup, the challah, and the bagels. I don't really range much beyond that although my husband has. I seem to remember being disappointed with the blintzes and the kugel but that was a while back.

In a pinch I've gotten sliced turkey to go there and they did slice it to order.

I don't know him personally, other than seeing him in the restaurant on occassion and like many other customers exchaning a polite "Hello," but I emailed Danny Wolf at The Bagel and inquired about the pre-made sandwich comment. Here's the reply he sent back:

Hi -

Thank you for your email. This is absolutely untrue. We make each sandwich to order as we have been since 1950, when my grandparents and parents ran the restaurant.

Could you tell me the name of the blog so I might respond. Thanks for your concern and help. Stop in and say hi next time you visit us-I'm usually here Mon, Thurs, and Sat. after 4PM.

Best regards,

Danny Wolf

mrbarolo wrote:
Bad enough that the half sandwich/soup combo is $10. ($12 with tax.)

20% tax??

Is there tax on the tax or something?

I don't know if the menu posted online at the restaurant's website is accurate, but it lists the 1/2 corned beef sandwich and soup as costing $10.95, plus tax.

Bill wrote:I don't know if the menu posted online at the restaurant's website is accurate, but it lists the 1/2 corned beef sandwich and soup as costing $10.95, plus tax.

OK, *that* makes sense then. At $10 with $2 tax I was just wondering where the extra buck was going . . .

Hey, I'm just a "citizen journalist" and therefore completely unaccountable for getting my facts straight as long as I'm expressing deeply held beliefs. I know what I'm passionately against, and that's all that matters.

grits wrote:I've had the opposite experience with the men and women working the take-out counter. They've always ranged from polite but quiet to very friendly and nice...

I agree with grits, and my overall experience of The Bagel couldn't be more opposite that of mrbarolo. (It's almost like his experience was the Bizarro World version of mine.) I'm referring to The Bagel on Broadway, with which I've had a lot more experience than the one in Old Orchard, but I think that's the one mrbarolo is referring to also. I've found the folks behind the take-out counter nothing but warm, friendly and helpful, and the waiters and waitresses at the tables are pretty terrific. I've never had a sandwich that tasted "pre-made," the nova has always been excellent, and some items (for instance, the chicken soup with matzo ball or kreplach) are the best I've had in the city.

We are certainly all entitled to our opinions, but I'm not sure that being mere "citizen journalists" (as mrbarolo puts it) exempts us from at least trying to get our facts straight; I don't agree with him that we are "completely unaccountable" for this, since in every case the health of a business is at stake. I don't have a problem with his talking about a bad experience if he had one, but I can't go along with this last claim. Naturally we will get facts wrong unintentionally, but to have blatant disregard for getting things right goes too far, IMO.

riddlemay wrote:Naturally we will get facts wrong unintentionally, but to have blatant disregard for getting things right goes too far, IMO.

R,

Not to speak for Mrbarolo, but I believe he was employing humor in his last post.

Far as Mrbarolo accurately representing the exchange with the Bagel counterman as he is a actor, Mr. B, not the counterman, I am guessing his memory is better/more accurate than 98% of the population.

Reading owner Danny Wolf's email to Bill it seems there is a disconnect between what the owner wishes to transpire and what actually happens, at least on a one-off basis.

Personally I have not been to the Bagel on Broadway or Old Orchard for 4-5 years, though the 'old' Bagel on Devon for chicken soup and squares of fluffy eggy challah was a regular stop.

Enjoy,
Gary

G Wiv wrote:Reading owner Danny Wolf's email to Bill it seems there is a disconnect between what the owner wishes to transpire and what actually happens, at least on a one-off basis.

That could be the case, in this one-off, but other possibilities are plausible. It could be the case that there was a misunderstanding, either on the counterman's part or mrbarolo's. It might be the case that The Bagel's policy at the takeout counter is to give packets of mustard, without it being the case that the sandwiches are pre-made. (At the tables, there are mustard bottles, French's and Plochman's as I recall, so maybe the restaurant believes in customers applying condiments to their own taste; that would be consistent with packets for takeout customers.) The one clear foul-up is that those packets should have been in mrbarolo's bag when he got back to the theater, and they weren't. I'm sure the restaurant regrets that error.

Top 10 "Could Be" Scenarios to Explain this Fascinating Situation

10. The counterman mistook mrborolo for someone who once tried to seduce his wife, and withheld the mustard as revenge.

9. Someone has hacked into mrborolo's LTHForum account, and is describing something that never really took place.

8. A bagel-hating anti semite stole all of the restaurant's mustard that morning.

7. mrborolo was wearing a shirt that was already heavily stained with mustard, so the counterman took pity on him and helped him avoid further staining by leaving the mustard out of the order.

6. The owner of The Bagel is shtooping the cook's wife, so the cook is intentionally disobeying the restaurant's policy about making sandwiches to order.

5. The counterman is the brother of the middle aged female bartender at hopleaf.

4. Bill had eaten only half of his corned beef sandwich that day, so given these tough economic times, The Bagel decided to repackage it for mrbarolo.

3. mrbarolo was slipped a powerful drug by the staff at Frances, which caused him to hallucinate this entire experience.

2. The staff at the Bagel was distracted to tears by the Oprah news that day.

1. Bored without frequent pizzaboy updates, people are now reaching way too hard for things to talk about.

0. Mrbarolo deserved what he got because he should have eaten at Toons.

I am continually relearning the humbling lesson that tone, on line, is devilishly difficult to hit accurately when one strays from the simple and declarative.

Gary is entirely correct: my crack about "citizen journalism" was meant to be A) self-deprecating regarding my misstating the price of my combo by .95, and, B) mildly satiric about the wild world of blogs and chat boards. Perhaps more freight than any sentence not composed by Henry James could safely carry. Hence, it sunk. (Or perhaps, stunk.)

Gary's innate generosity tempts him a bridge too far in crediting me with a decent memory. In fact, my mental faculties seem to know when they're being paid for their trouble: they spring into action in public performance but can be criminally negligent in every other area of life. When asked on a Monday morning, "how was your weekend?" I am frequently at a loss.

Nevertheless, I am 100% positive of (and can produce disinterested witnesses to support) my contention that the counterman told me he would not-could not put mustard on my sandwich, and that no mustard was included in the bag either.

I did find my kreplach filling flavorless, but my benchmark is memories of grandma, so what ya gonna do?

That said, I'm glad to learn that the owner cares deeply about his business and customers, of whom I see throngs lining up enthusiastically every weekend. Many of my colleagues find the matzoball soup both a pleasure and a bargain.

Of course, everyone should eat at Toons. Great food, great prices, and an atmosphere awash in mensch-keit. (Awkward, I know, but how often do you get even an lame attempt at a Yiddish neologism these days?)
But sometimes one isn't at Toons. Or near Toons. Sometimes, one is in east Lakeview with 30 minutes and a head-cold coming on. At such times, one wants mustard on the corned beef. That's all I was sayin'.

Well I've enjoyed this thread immensely as the comedic part has been quite impressive (Kennyz's list particularly). Comedy aside, I find the Bagel's Broadway location (the only one left these days) to be a poor imitation of a Jewish deli. It starts when they deliver the bowl of stale bialys to the table. It continues with very mediocre food - whether it be the soups, the soup accompaniments (matzoh balls, kreplach, noodles), the deli meats. A true shande!

I thought the Old Orchard location was good for a while after it opened, before slipping to the point where I refused to visit.

BR wrote:...The Bagel's Broadway location (the only one left these days)....

Old Orchard is still open.

grits wrote:

BR wrote:...The Bagel's Broadway location (the only one left these days)....

Old Orchard is still open.

Perhaps I closed it in my mind.

I never noticed any difference in the quality of the food between the two locations. I've always liked the Bagel, mainly for nostalgic reasons. It certainly isn't amazing food, but it's good and my expectations are generally met.

I really hope soon-to-open Bagel on Damen does not take any pointers from The Bagel, other than its creative name.

What is Bagel on Damen? A restaurant, a bagel shop?

Most of my food from The Bagel has been pretty good. I have had some less-than-stellar moments in service, though. It's hit-or-miss. I've had great servers and servers who are crabby, don't come back to the table or forget reasonable special requests ("Can I have an extra tomato slice with my lox & bagels platter?").

mrbarolo wrote:I am continually relearning the humbling lesson that tone, on line, is devilishly difficult to hit accurately when one strays from the simple and declarative.

Gary is entirely correct: my crack about "citizen journalism" was meant to be A) self-deprecating regarding my misstating the price of my combo by .95, and, B) mildly satiric about the wild world of blogs and chat boards. Perhaps more freight than any sentence not composed by Henry James could safely carry. Hence, it sunk. (Or perhaps, stunk.)

Gary's innate generosity tempts him a bridge too far in crediting me with a decent memory. In fact, my mental faculties seem to know when they're being paid for their trouble: they spring into action in public performance but can be criminally negligent in every other area of life. When asked on a Monday morning, "how was your weekend?" I am frequently at a loss.

Nevertheless, I am 100% positive of (and can produce disinterested witnesses to support) my contention that the counterman told me he would not-could not put mustard on my sandwich, and that no mustard was included in the bag either...

Thank you for the clarification, mr. b. (If I may call you mr. b. ) In light of this, the only thing that continues to trouble me is the subject heading you gave this thread. "Our contempt" implies some universality of opinion on The Bagel, and I think it's clear that there is diversity of opinion here regarding the place. I wonder also if, on reflection, you think the word "contempt" is a little strong. It's your choice, but in the name of fairness and limiting damage to a business that may not deserve it, I hope you'll consider a revision.

An alternative would be for me to start a different thread for all of us Bagel-fanciers (and all those who have some fondness for the place on some level), with a positive thread title to match, and I can certainly do that, but I thought I'd make this request of you first.

riddlemay wrote:continues to trouble me is the subject heading you gave this thread. "Our contempt" implies some universality of opinion on The Bagel, and I think it's clear that there is diversity of opinion here regarding the place. I wonder also if, on reflection, you think the word "contempt" is a little strong. It's your choice, but in the name of fairness and limiting damage to a business that may not deserve it, I hope you'll consider a revision.

I'm sure Katie would agree with a name change.